Falling In Love Online............

[Thomas]

Thomas, the second picture all three are "packing".

Yes. I asume all 4. If I remember corect, the Cauayan scamer gang are "remade", while some are even men elsewhere.

[Shol]

Do people honestly fall in love with someone they have never met face to face instead only interacting online?

 

Definitely although I couldn't do that I need to be around the person for a long time and see how its etc. Not everyone based on their history and personality is like that and can easily fall with the right level attention and interaction I suppose.

 

A lot of people who date online are shy and will really become attached to someone that shows attention to them that in their own mind might have never done that in person without "knowing them"

 

Whether this is a justification based on a delusional perspective is I guess individual based :)

I have an uncle who met a girl online and they only know each 2 weeks or so in real life and despite many "signs" (I call them red flags) such as money being sent and not being accounted for he is still delusional and in love with her and will be bringing her back to his home country.   Poor soul we trying to help and guide.

 

Anyway life is full of experiences so :)

[davewe]

The fundamental problem is with the original question and Western views about romantic love.

 

I first "fell in love" when I was 12 years old, but managed not to marry the girl. I've been married 3 times but probably have fallen in love dozens of times.

 

My point is that you can develop a strong emotional connection with someone online, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's the person you ought to marry.

 

In the old days people corresponded via letter. I am sure many of these people "fell in love" with their pen pal. Some, though not all actually married, and probably quite a few of those married successfully.

 

So the fundamental problem I mentioned above is the notion that because you fell in love you ought to marry or because you are married you must retain romantic love forever. My aunt and uncle have been married 65 years. I am sure they love each other but do they still have that falling in love romantic feeling - I doubt it. That's a chemical emotion you have at the beginning that starts the relationship - maybe.

 

I would still recommend that people online try to not fall in love or more accurately try not to decide before they have met that this person is "the one." But even that being said I know many people who decided online, married, and are happily married years later. Who am I to say they did it wrong?

 

BTW, statistics show that people in the West who live together before they marry actually have a greater rate of divorce. It seems unintuitive, doesn't it? It seems like living together ought to give you a better idea of what the person is like and therefore lead to more successful marriages - but it doesn't.

 

My parents (like many people in their generation) married before they were 20. How well could they actually have known each other? Hell, how well did they actually know themselves? And yet they remained happily married till death parted them. So me - I did it the mature way and didn't marry till I was past 30 - and ended up divorced. Then based on that failure, I married after living with the person - and divorced. So now I am married to a Filipina who's a billion years younger than me and who I met online. Only 2 years but the best two years of marriage I've ever had. Take that Dr. Phil!

[Shol]

The fundamental problem is with the original question and Western views about romantic love.

 

I first "fell in love" when I was 12 years old, but managed not to marry the girl. I've been married 3 times but probably have fallen in love dozens of times.

 

My point is that you can develop a strong emotional connection with someone online, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's the person you ought to marry.

 

In the old days people corresponded via letter. I am sure many of these people "fell in love" with their pen pal. Some, though not all actually married, and probably quite a few of those married successfully.

 

So the fundamental problem I mentioned above is the notion that because you fell in love you ought to marry or because you are married you must retain romantic love forever. My aunt and uncle have been married 65 years. I am sure they love each other but do they still have that falling in love romantic feeling - I doubt it. That's a chemical emotion you have at the beginning that starts the relationship - maybe.

 

I would still recommend that people online try to not fall in love or more accurately try not to decide before they have met that this person is "the one." But even that being said I know many people who decided online, married, and are happily married years later. Who am I to say they did it wrong?

 

BTW, statistics show that people in the West who live together before they marry actually have a greater rate of divorce. It seems unintuitive, doesn't it? It seems like living together ought to give you a better idea of what the person is like and therefore lead to more successful marriages - but it doesn't.

 

My parents (like many people in their generation) married before they were 20. How well could they actually have known each other? Hell, how well did they actually know themselves? And yet they remained happily married till death parted them. So me - I did it the mature way and didn't marry till I was past 30 - and ended up divorced. Then based on that failure, I married after living with the person - and divorced. So now I am married to a Filipina who's a billion years younger than me and who I met online. Only 2 years but the best two years of marriage I've ever had. Take that Dr. Phil!

 

 

It's unintuitive however if we think back then in some cases it might be that people just say together "unhappy" or "settled".  I am not saying this is the case in all situations.

 

I think that there has to be a balance once the initial lust and lovey dovey phase is over and that you can only then truly appreciate that person which is why I raise my eyebrows to people who fall in love too fast.

 

Perhaps I am jaded having been made into a a delusional puppy who catered to someone's lifestyle expectations for many years. 

 

I also realize that many persons have different expectations. Such is life :)

[Aussie Rod]

A friend of mine fell in love with a pinay girl he met on a dating site. After about about 2 years of chatting with her online he proposed to her. He then flew to Ph for the 1st time and brought her back to Australia on a Fiancee Visa to get married. My girl was in Australia  on a Fiancee Visa at the same time and the 2 girls met at the local public swimming pool. We got married 6 mth later and they married 3 mth after us. We all attended each others weddings. A year later my wife gave birth to our daugher and about a year after the other girl had a baby boy.

To be continued

[MikeSwede]

Falling in love in an online person with your own online person is fine, I have no problem with the concept. I did.

Making the transition to our and their real life person is a very different matter.

Just to set it straight - no, I am not in lust, just have a very powerful crush in person that responds in more than two dimensions.

I live and work mostly over the net. Some people I correspond with really reaches over that electronic gap and I genuinly like the guy. But never met him.

Step that up to someone you talk private matters with. Who listens, comments and argue as any friend would. Add to that a voice. A picture. Maybe even a cam with a live smile and laugh.

Yeah, you can fall.

I feel I will have a reason to come back to this thread in a while, when I know how well I've managed in that transition aspect.

Good morning lovers

[Aussie Rod]

A friend of mine fell in love with a pinay girl he met on a dating site. After about about 2 years of chatting with her online he proposed to her. He then flew to Ph for the 1st time and brought her back to Australia on a Fiancee Visa to get married. My girl was in Australia  on a Fiancee Visa at the same time and the 2 girls met at the local public swimming pool. We got married 6 mth later and they married 3 mth after us. We all attended each others weddings. A year later my wife gave birth to our daugher and about a year after the other girl had a baby boy.

To be continued

Story continued

In Australia a migrant gets permanent residency after being a resident for 3 years. A fiancee visa is considered a form on temperary visa. That means that 3 years from the date of arrival on a Fiancee Visa they get permanent residency. Now back to the story. So within weeks of getting her permanent residency the girl calls the police and accuses her husband of assulting her. He is charged with assult and a Apprehended Violence Order is placed on him and he can not go within 500m of her or the baby. As a result he cant go to his house and is homeless. She moves out with all the new furnature and electricals that he has recently purchased on credit. That was 3 years ago. He is now paying her child care every fortnight and still trying to pay off the credit card he used to buy the new furnature etc. All of which is  in her possession. After all this happens I remain friends with him and he confides in me some facts about what happened. It turns out she was 16 and still at school when he met her online. Of course she had lied about her age claiming to be 18. Soon after she arrived in Australia she joined an Australian dating site. When she was pregnant she provoked an argument and went to stay with a filipino friend. In truth she flew to another city and spent the weekend with a guy she met on the dating site. It gets worse! When it all began he had been working for a company for 12 years. The company owned the house and he lived there rent free. The company were very supportive of his marriage and promised to employ her. This girl is very manipulative and the company was owned and run by a lady in her early 60s. After she moved out the company told him to find somewhere else to live and recenty he lost his job with them. 

 

She set him up from the beginning. He wasn't rich but he was her ticket to a good job and a new life in Australia. In the process she destroyed his life.

 

When he visits my home and observes me with my wife and kids I can see the sadness in his eyes. I have what he wanted but his dream destroyed his life.

[Thomas]

Step that up to someone you talk private matters with. Who listens, comments and argue as any friend would. Add to that a voice. A picture. Maybe even a cam with a live smile and laugh.

Body langauge say more than the talk - if we understand it. Women are much better at it than men in average. I suppouse that's why it's common women think they have told, while men don't even know the subject has been up   :hystery: 

As the classic example:

They are at a long car trip. The husband is driving.

-It would be nice with a cup of coffee, say the wife.

-Yes, say the husband and go on driving.

He don't understand why the wife got grumpy "suddenly", although he didn't turned off the highway when they passed an eatary sign... :mocking:  

She set him up from the beginning. He wasn't rich but he was her ticket to a good job and a new life in Australia. In the process she destroyed his life.

That's one of the reasons I say:

-Don't bring them to your home country.

An other reason is it's better they compare with common Filipino living standard. Such cost less  :)

[Crocodile]

 

A friend of mine fell in love with a pinay girl he met on a dating site. After about about 2 years of chatting with her online he proposed to her. He then flew to Ph for the 1st time and brought her back to Australia on a Fiancee Visa to get married. My girl was in Australia  on a Fiancee Visa at the same time and the 2 girls met at the local public swimming pool. We got married 6 mth later and they married 3 mth after us. We all attended each others weddings. A year later my wife gave birth to our daugher and about a year after the other girl had a baby boy.

To be continued

Story continued

In Australia a migrant gets permanent residency after being a resident for 3 years. A fiancee visa is considered a form on temperary visa. That means that 3 years from the date of arrival on a Fiancee Visa they get permanent residency. Now back to the story. So within weeks of getting her permanent residency the girl calls the police and accuses her husband of assulting her. He is charged with assult and a Apprehended Violence Order is placed on him and he can not go within 500m of her or the baby. As a result he cant go to his house and is homeless. She moves out with all the new furnature and electricals that he has recently purchased on credit. That was 3 years ago. He is now paying her child care every fortnight and still trying to pay off the credit card he used to buy the new furnature etc. All of which is  in her possession. After all this happens I remain friends with him and he confides in me some facts about what happened. It turns out she was 16 and still at school when he met her online. Of course she had lied about her age claiming to be 18. Soon after she arrived in Australia she joined an Australian dating site. When she was pregnant she provoked an argument and went to stay with a filipino friend. In truth she flew to another city and spent the weekend with a guy she met on the dating site. It gets worse! When it all began he had been working for a company for 12 years. The company owned the house and he lived there rent free. The company were very supportive of his marriage and promised to employ her. This girl is very manipulative and the company was owned and run by a lady in her early 60s. After she moved out the company told him to find somewhere else to live and recenty he lost his job with them. 

 

She set him up from the beginning. He wasn't rich but he was her ticket to a good job and a new life in Australia. In the process she destroyed his life.

 

When he visits my home and observes me with my wife and kids I can see the sadness in his eyes. I have what he wanted but his dream destroyed his life.

 

I have heard a similar story to this.  But involved her bringing out her family to visit.  Slowly she took over his life until he had no power at all because everyone around them was on her side.

 

While there are many good stories out there, I think people also need to be reminded of what can happen.  And by that, I mean on both sides of the relationship.  I have hear before: "If you play in the park, you have got to be wary of the dog"

[Jake]

Do people honestly fall in love with someone they have never met face to face instead only interacting online?

Good morning guys,

 

A great question that would probably solicit many different opinions (3 pages now), depending on the members' definition of love.  In the case of modern day, real time communications, I believe the line between love and lust falls within the many shades of grey, very few a black and white situation.  And for those who have truly succeeded, I salute you guys in spite of the enormous odds against you.  

 

Perhaps we should explore the woman's point of view.  Are there any differences dealing with other on-line ladies (Russian, European, Asian) as compared to our Filipina.  Sure, there are professional scammers advertising the flesh (innocent or not) and can you blame us (men) to fall victim over and over again?  What about the other side of the coin?

 

Did our Filipina learn from the best scammers?  I'm talking about the other expats (Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, Filipinos, African, Kanos) who often times consider the Filipina a disposable commodity.  In my opinion, after being victimized over the years, the Filipina will learn how to get even.  Can you blame them?  When my 18 year old daughter asked about men in general, I flatly told her that men are pigs, myself included.  I even told her about how often we think of sex (every 20 seconds on the average).  And therefore, she learned to become more affirmative as a woman.  Actually my wife Judy taught her well in that department.....he, he.  

 

And we've been married 30 plus years now.  Is that a miracle or what?  Respectfully -- good baboy ako.

Edited July 9, 2015 by Jake