Foreigners.....that Filipina With You Underage? Off To Jail You Go.

[OnMyWay]

5 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

The old "age gap" debate. Is there any proof that a more mature woman will make a long term relationship more so than a younger woman? These sort of statements usually come from people with no experience or tend to frown on an older guy with a younger woman.

No, no, no.  I'm was not talking about age gap.  I know of many large age gap relationships that work, and usually they work because of things like you describe.  You have things in common that make you click together.  "Things in common" could be a wide range of meanings to different people.  It could be as simple as she thrives on care giving, and the guy needs lots of care.

However, I would argue that the younger the girl is, the less chance the relationship has to succeed.  Doesn't matter about the gap.  A 20 year old girl still has a lot of growing up to do (hopefully).  In most cases, the growth that goes on between 20 and 25 is huge.

My remarks were personal for Bob's situation and I usually don't go there.  However, I have known Bob here on the forum for years and he has shared publicly his relationships, starting long before he moved.  Each one has been described in flowery language as "the one".  I have enjoyed Bob's posts over the years and when I think of Bob, I think if an intellectual person with great life experiences, who is an excellent writer.

For a person of Bob's intellect, I still think he has a greater chance of relationship success with mentally mature women who might have more in common with him.  That could be a wide range of ages, from 18 to 100, but again, less likely at the bottom of that scale.  You may have missed it, but in another thread, Bob said this latest 20 year old does not speak much English and that communication is challenging.

Again, apologies to Bob.  I am not attacking, just offering some old fashioned advice.

[i am bob]

22 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

However, I would argue that the younger the girl is, the less chance the relationship has to succeed.  Doesn't matter about the gap.  A 20 year old girl still has a lot of growing up to do (hopefully).  In most cases, the growth that goes on between 20 and 25 is huge.

I might agree with you after my last gf...  Even her parents apologized to me for how she treated me over the last few months...  But with Jasmen..?  She's a very mature 20 due to the fact she has a 3 year old daughter (the father has long disappeared into the deeper South to avoid warrants), Mom left (10?) years ago, Dad works long hours driving tricycle, and she is the one who looks after the family.  The family is not rich obviously, but they are more than happy with what they have...  Actually, I have to be careful I don't spoil her because I don't want her attitude to change...

[intrepid]

On 8/2/2018 at 11:39 PM, Jollygoodfellow said:

She is not into parties other than a rare workmate birthday of pizza. She is not into clubs or bars, she doesn't drink or smoke but her age says she is not mature? 

And to add to her qualities of being young and myself old I've been really sick the past 3 days and she cares for me as much as she could, keeping me cool, buying medication and trying to get me to eat and still with lack of sleep she goes to work where she told her manager if she does not come to work it's because her BF is sick and she needs to care for me.

WOW JGF, you got a keeper.  My kind of girl.  Good luck with the relationship and hope your feeling better soon.

 

[jamesmusslewhite]

These topics on such topics always fuels division among members. Whether old or young is merely petty semantics which is primary nonsense.

   Fact is if your stupid, desperate or sleazy enough to be sniffing around an underage female or male; then your are knowing playing with an unpinned-grenade. If you choose to cross the line and dip your wick into an underage male or female, than you deserve incarceration until such time you are farting dust before you ever breath free-air again.

No excuses, nonsensical petty semantics or attempts projecting themselves less of a deviant; does not diminishes the criminal act. If your sniffing around someone of legal age, than this is a private issue among consenting adults and should remain above judgement of others.   

[JDDavao II]

On 8/3/2018 at 5:52 AM, OnMyWay said:

A 20 year old girl still has a lot of growing up to do (hopefully).  In most cases, the growth that goes on between 20 and 25 is huge.

My niece just turned 17 and like any Uncle, I've been joking about boyfriends. "We're going to the mall, do you want us to shop for a boyfriend?" "Maybe when we go to Boracay we can find you a Korean boyfriend like in your dramas." She was late home from school one evening and I said to my wife, "Maybe a boyfriend?" My wife replied, "She wouldn't dare!"

That threw me for a loop since American girls at 17 are usually on their second or third heartthrob. My wife explained that girls here are still babies at 17. They're silly and immature. Just my two pence added to the conversation.

[Old55]

10 hours ago, jamesmusslewhite said:

These topics on such topics always fuels division among members. Whether old or young is merely petty semantics which is primary nonsense.

   Fact is if your stupid, desperate or sleazy enough to be sniffing around an underage female or male; then your are knowing playing with an unpinned-grenade. If you choose to cross the line and dip your wick into an underage male or female, than you deserve incarceration until such time you are farting dust before you ever breath free-air again.

No excuses, nonsensical petty semantics or attempts projecting themselves less of a deviant; does not diminishes the criminal act. If your sniffing around someone of legal age, than this is a private issue among consenting adults and should remain above judgement of others.   

James I don’t totally agree with your first paragraph or how you worded your thoughts in it .

You are welcome to express your self as you see best. For the most part I find your input useful and informative. Sometimes how a member states opinion may cause controversy or devision but respectful dialog normally will not.  

 

[jamesmusslewhite]

16 hours ago, Old55 said:

James I don’t totally agree with your first paragraph or how you worded your thoughts in it .

You are welcome to express your self as you see best. For the most part I find your input useful and informative. Sometimes how a member states opinion may cause controversy or devision but respectful dialog normally will not.  

 

   Well thank you for your personal permission for me to express my view on a topic. 

   So is my post palpable and more palatable if I pander to petty semantics and change the word 'always' fuels to 'usually' fuels? I initially posted base on a personal belief based on years reading forum threads on several Philippine-based forums. Threads which touched on topics of (older men - very young ladies/gents) and (older/younger men and underage girls/boys) as they more than usually (just for you big guy) tend to breakdown and divide between detectors and enablers. Quite a few times these threads had to be hidden or closed, even leading to banning of members, as some forum threads got damn-right ugly at times. I hope your right despite those examples of past threads of old. Of course this forum has a more 'jackboot' moderation than some of the other expat forums, and this forum may not share the same members as those other more lax forums. So with luck you may prove to be quite right.

 

 

'

Edited August 5, 2018 by jamesmusslewhite

[jamesmusslewhite]

22 hours ago, JDDavao said:

My niece just turned 17 and like any Uncle, I've been joking about boyfriends. "We're going to the mall, do you want us to shop for a boyfriend?" "Maybe when we go to Boracay we can find you a Korean boyfriend like in your dramas." She was late home from school one evening and I said to my wife, "Maybe a boyfriend?" My wife replied, "She wouldn't dare!"

That threw me for a loop since American girls at 17 are usually on their second or third heartthrob. My wife explained that girls here are still babies at 17. They're silly and immature. Just my two pence added to the conversation.

My wife would be more dangerous than a caged wolverine towards a potential inappropriate suitor at their young ages (17 and 15). The outdoors-man term 'Field-dressed'' seems to come to mind.  

[Dave Hounddriver]

3 hours ago, jamesmusslewhite said:

Well thank you for your personal permission for me to express my view on a topic. 

You have some very good contributions to make to this forum.  I respect that, as does my fellow moderator who made the remark you are laughing at.

But even though your contributions are valuable, other members of this forum have said:  Its not what certain members say but how they say it that makes for a good forum.  I hope that seed finds fertile ground.

[jamesmusslewhite]

22 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

You have some very good contributions to make to this forum.  I respect that, as does my fellow moderator who made the remark you are laughing at.

But even though your contributions are valuable, other members of this forum have said:  Its not what certain members say but how they say it that makes for a good forum.  I hope that seed finds fertile ground.

   I will resolve this issue through a personal policy of self-censorship. I will continue contributing on forum threads which I previously started such as the Harry Doyle Murder thread. I will no longer start any new threads on the forum, nor will I respond to threads which I have not personally started. This should easily resolves any possible reason for additional warnings, censorship or sanctions. Now excuse me as I must go sit 5 minutes in the penalty box, for 'sticking', and feel great shame.   

Edited August 6, 2018 by jamesmusslewhite