How To Cope

[Dolby]

I am lucky in this regard I guess.

On day 1 of meeting my gf then I said, I have two rules only. If you don't like any pls. let me know and I'd just disappear..

Rule 1: I would not help any other than you.

Rule 2: never ever lie to me. One lie and you are out.

So far, after more than a year together she never did.

Mind you, I am aware of the pressure but it's better to keep this under your control or else, risk being run over[emoji23]

[Petey]

When i first came to Philippines ( actually the first day ) when i met my brother-in-laws for the first time the asked me for money for picking me up from the airport and they had no fuel allowance. I asked how much P5000. I gave him the money, little did i know how far P5000 would go.

 

By the 3rd day i had my mother-in-outlaw confronted me. She said i have an obligation to look after the family and provide an allowance to her and my "Brothers" and help support their family, because I'm a good family man.

 

My reply "Eh... No!"

 

Well that didn't go down too well.

 

By the middle of week 2 of being in Philippines they had kicked me and my ( then ) 4yr old daughter out of the house, plus the threats of getting me deported etc.

 

Moral of the story.

 

Protect yourself and your money. Move somewhere that makes it inconvenient for them to visit you with no notice. The mentailty is that your a meal ticket. Sure some people don't mind paying for "whatever" as long as there being looked after by their partner - but is it out of love or financial stability/gain?

 

Yes. Most of my posts are very negitive, but i married my wife because i love her, but that doesn't mean i have to love or care for anyone else. When in UK we never had my aunts, uncles, cousins asking us to provide for them - its not our responsibilty, and that also goes for the family here. But sometimes my missus gives money, but i remind her that the mother-in-outlaw kicked us out of the house. Then my missus sees the light.

[sonjack2847]

When i first came to Philippines ( actually the first day ) when i met my brother-in-laws for the first time the asked me for money for picking me up from the airport and they had no fuel allowance. I asked how much P5000. I gave him the money, little did i know how far P5000 would go.

 

By the 3rd day i had my mother-in-outlaw confronted me. She said i have an obligation to look after the family and provide an allowance to her and my "Brothers" and help support their family, because I'm a good family man.

 

My reply "Eh... No!"

 

Well that didn't go down too well.

 

By the middle of week 2 of being in Philippines they had kicked me and my ( then ) 4yr old daughter out of the house, plus the threats of getting me deported etc.

 

Moral of the story.

 

Protect yourself and your money. Move somewhere that makes it inconvenient for them to visit you with no notice. The mentailty is that your a meal ticket. Sure some people don't mind paying for "whatever" as long as there being looked after by their partner - but is it out of love or financial stability/gain?

 

Yes. Most of my posts are very negitive, but i married my wife because i love her, but that doesn't mean i have to love or care for anyone else. When in UK we never had my aunts, uncles, cousins asking us to provide for them - its not our responsibilty, and that also goes for the family here. But sometimes my missus gives money, but i remind her that the mother-in-outlaw kicked us out of the house. Then my missus sees the light.

Horrible people

[davewe]

While it's only been a few years, so far I have been lucky. I really like my family and what modest amounts we have contributed have been for very good reasons. 10 days ago my wife's uncle died. Much drama over the next couple of days. While my mother in law did not directly ask I knew that my wife would want to contribute. Eventually she got around to bringing up the subject. We did a little bit of research on costs. I said that I was happy to contribute but no way I would foot the entire bill. Eventually we decided we could send 10k. My wife proposed this sum to my MIL - who said it was too much. We sent 8k. All sorts of relatives kicked in and uncle was buried yesterday. Honestly I was happy to help, but even happier with my Filipino family.

[scott h]

She said i have an obligation to look after the family

 

We always hear stories about this type of thing Petey. Some with their hands out continually, some never ask at all, some just drop broad hints.

 

If I can ask. What type of economic background are your in laws? Educated? Day laborers? Couple of OFW's supporting the family? The reason I ask, fore warned is fore armed for some. If those who follow us, (as if they would listen :1 (103): ) some of the culture shock might not be,,,,well so shocking.

[Coffeehound]

She said i have an obligation to look after the family

We always hear stories about this type of thing Petey. Some with their hands out continually, some never ask at all, some just drop broad hints.

If I can ask. What type of economic background are your in laws? Educated? Day laborers? Couple of OFW's supporting the family? The reason I ask, fore warned is fore armed for some. If those who follow us, (as if they would listen :1 (103): ) some of the culture shock might not be,,,,well so shocking.

Words of wisdom here... Problem is these girls will swoop in and seal the deal so fast that most will have no time to think the process through!

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[Jake]

 

 

She said i have an obligation to look after the family

We always hear stories about this type of thing Petey. Some with their hands out continually, some never ask at all, some just drop broad hints.

If I can ask. What type of economic background are your in laws? Educated? Day laborers? Couple of OFW's supporting the family? The reason I ask, fore warned is fore armed for some. If those who follow us, (as if they would listen :1 (103): ) some of the culture shock might not be,,,,well so shocking.

Words of wisdom here... Problem is these girls will swoop in and seal the deal so fast that most will have no time to think the process through!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

No time to think?  Well, we do have smaller brains down there.  And don't forget, this is the land of OA (over acting) and crocodile tears without either a thank you or remorse in some cases.

 

Respectfully -- Jake

[chris49]

While it's only been a few years, so far I have been lucky. I really like my family and what modest amounts we have contributed have been for very good reasons. 10 days ago my wife's uncle died. Much drama over the next couple of days. While my mother in law did not directly ask I knew that my wife would want to contribute. Eventually she got around to bringing up the subject. We did a little bit of research on costs. I said that I was happy to contribute but no way I would foot the entire bill. Eventually we decided we could send 10k. My wife proposed this sum to my MIL - who said it was too much. We sent 8k. All sorts of relatives kicked in and uncle was buried yesterday. Honestly I was happy to help, but even happier with my Filipino family.

10k was generous for an uncle, but that's the way it works here.

Wife's 90 yo grandmother died in my 2nd year here, but I had been in the country 6 years at that time. They lived close by and there was going to be the typical 7 days visitation, then burial.

I made my calculations and I knew it was going to cost a bundle. Meanwhile the family collected all there resources and someone donated a pig which was a big help.

I also went with 10k cash and put a stipulation that I was giving all in one lump sum. It worked quite well, but I still go caught out (but never mind, I accept it). It seems the priest was coming over with a few of the church members and we would provide him lunch. Jumbo shrimp and etc to keep up the family image, so we did that also. Notably the priest did not even sit down to eat, but most definitely, the food was consumed. I made sure to eat to cut my losses.

[Coffeehound]

She said i have an obligation to look after the family

We always hear stories about this type of thing Petey. Some with their hands out continually, some never ask at all, some just drop broad hints.

If I can ask. What type of economic background are your in laws? Educated? Day laborers? Couple of OFW's supporting the family? The reason I ask, fore warned is fore armed for some. If those who follow us, (as if they would listen :1 (103): ) some of the culture shock might not be,,,,well so shocking.

Words of wisdom here... Problem is these girls will swoop in and seal the deal so fast that most will have no time to think the process through!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No time to think? Well, we do have smaller brains down there. And don't forget, this is the land of OA (over acting) and crocodile tears without either a thank you or remorse in some cases.

Respectfully -- Jake

Good Lord since you mentioned over acting... One of my sister-in-laws used to be a TV actress... My God can she push the drama button! LOL

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