Did You Ever Have To Finally Decide?

[El Negrito]

Don't remember what your long term goals are B E. Will you be bringing them back? Or moving to where they are? Either way some boots on the ground recon is going to be needed, one plane ticket will just cost more than the other.

 

We, naturally, are all hooked up with Filipinas of one flavor or another, so our opinions might be swayed a bit. But consider:

 

The gal in Mexico is closer to your age, less age gap differences, more mature, already established in her career, less chance of being a gold digger. The cultural differences are not so great either. Mexican is western, Filipina is Asian (regardless of how well she speaks English)

 

Also good points Scott. Oh did I mention she talked about babies and I said no way Jose and she said cool. Of course I know she still wants babies but is that a good or bad sign, will she just insist on babies in the future.

 

Anyway all conjecture at this point. I am not dating anyone without having some boots on the ground first. Ya dig?!  :thumbsup:

[El Negrito]

I would not be chasing the first gal. If she doesn't want to put much time into it, why should you? It looks to me that you are already second fiddle to her career.

 

Girl #2 seems typical of filipinas. They fall in love rather quickly (sometimes in 3 texts) and her being educated is a plus. You never know what the chemistry is until you meet in person. Also be up front about your expectations and communication. If it is meant to be it will happen. You will be amazed by how effective communications and setting common goals yield great results. No reasons for games here. You are established and looking for your next great chapters in life. 

 

 

El,  I offer this for your consideration,  If  both are attractive, educated or soon to be: 

take the 25 year old as she should last a bit longer.

it is also dangerous in Mexico   

 

 

Good point Jon. First point I agree with. As the 2nd I have lived in Mexico for over 9 years. It's fine aside from the border. Kidnappings happen but generally not to Americans. You do have to be careful on the border though if you are an American at night (muggings). But other than that crime here is just like anywhere out. They do a lot of smash and grab or looking for people who slip up and don't lock their cars or trying to get in your trunk. Same in the US and Canada. US I had my locks jacked up by people trying to get in and in Canada my car was stolen.

[chris49]

Yah but now you mention a 25 yo provincia has only one year of college, so that's more like high school. I think you have to be prepared for someone who is immature at 25.

I would take Jake's recommendation more seriously and have Plan B, C, D ready.

I still don't like Candidate 1, Mexican Rosie, she is clever and can work a number of angles on you. Candidate 2, might try her luck also but you are more dominant in the situation. My wife turned 26 a few days ago, and I did educate her a lot, but she helped me a lot also.

One thing that helps you with a younger Filipina. Is that if you don't directly help them with immigration, they have a later chance to get petitioned by the children. They will still be young enough, while you will be in your senior, very senior years by then.

[El Negrito]

Yah but now you mention a 25 yo provincia has only one year of college, so that's more like high school. I think you have to be prepared for someone who is immature at 25.

I would take Jake's recommendation more seriously and have Plan B, C, D ready.

I still don't like Candidate 1, Mexican Rosie, she is clever and can work a number of angles on you. Candidate 2, might try her luck also but you are more dominant in the situation. My wife turned 26 a few days ago, and I did educate her a lot, but she helped me a lot also.

One thing that helps you with a younger Filipina. Is that if you don't directly help them with immigration, they have a later chance to get petitioned by the children. They will still be young enough, while you will be in your senior, very senior years by then.

 

 

Thanks. Actually she is in her last year of university. And I am only 45 so not very senior. Kids might be able to help her get citizenship in Mexico where I live but I already told her no kids and she agrees.

[chris49]

So "Wait for Me" is until she finishes her Uni.

On the no kids and she agrees. As JGF would say, that's another topic. It's hard for me to believe that a 25 yo would not want children at some point. Family pressure for one thing.

But I have posted 3 times that I like her. And the age gap is somewhat typical, so it's still a go.

Edited September 10, 2015 by chris49

[El Negrito]

So "Wait for Me" is until she finishes her Uni.

On the no kids and she agrees. As JGF would say, that's another topic. It's hard for me to believe that a25 yo would not want children at some point. Family pressure for one thing.

But I have posted 3 times that I like her. And the age gap is somewhat typical, so it's still a go.

 

 

Thanks for the support Chris. Yes wait one year until she finishes Uni. Age gap is typical 11 or 20 years what's the diff? If it was a woman older than a man no one cares. I will have to test my family on that. Right about family pressure but when you live a few islands or some big "ponds" oceans away do you think the pressure would still be there or at least as great?

[stevewool]

the world through rose colored glasses

 

 

Just make sure you are not wearing these glasses when choosing

[Methersgate]

Hmmm.......just like a kid walking into a candy store. I hope you're not an impulsive buyer with a minimum time to choose. I suggest you research some more and go for door number 3 or 4 or 6. You're not in a rush, are you? Perhaps setting up 3 good solid connections and see who will meet you with open arms upon arrival. If love (mutual) was not at first sight, there's always 7 thousand other possibilities if you have the time to explore the other islands or provinces. Speaking of which (provincial women), expect long term courtship with traditional chaperones to scope you out and also formally asking permission to date and eventual engagement into marriage.

Good advice from Jake.

Young Filipinas "fall in love" very easily, but remember they also fall out of it again just as fast. This girl is probably in love with the idea of an American boyfriend.

You need boots on the ground!

Edited September 10, 2015 by Methersgate

[chris49]

Hmmm.......just like a kid walking into a candy store. I hope you're not an impulsive buyer with a minimum time to choose. I suggest you research some more and go for door number 3 or 4 or 6. You're not in a rush, are you? Perhaps setting up 3 good solid connections and see who will meet you with open arms upon arrival. If love (mutual) was not at first sight, there's always 7 thousand other possibilities if you have the time to explore the other islands or provinces. Speaking of which (provincial women), expect long term courtship with traditional chaperones to scope you out and also formally asking permission to date and eventual engagement into marriage.

Good advice from Jake.

Young Filipinas "fall in love" very easily, but remember they also fall out of it again just as fast. This girl is probably in love with the idea of an American boyfriend.

You need boots on the ground!

A pure Filipina in the traditional sense will not easily fall out of love with her life partner. I agree that modern society and relationships with foreigners have clouded this. What a girl might be thinking is hey "I got this one guy easy enough, maybe I can get another one" As such there judgement is clouded and their motives are not with good intention.

I'm more trusting if the girl has not lived a long time in Metro Manila. Provincial girls don't think like that. However the caveat is that a 25 yo is using primarily her looks to meet the guy online. Who knows if it's even the real picture?

As always there are risks attached.

Edited September 10, 2015 by chris49

[Vince Runza]

My gut says #1 is a no-go, #2 is a big 'Maybe'. The thing is, you need your boots on the ground. Despite the allure of online, face to face experience is best. Plus, in the Philippines, you'll quickly get the subtext of what's going on, if you first remove rose-colored glasses. Oh, and you'll find out just how attractive you are to a horde of young lovelies. Line 'em up!