The Old Ways , The New Ways

[stevewool]

Being a new person with only a few short years of seeing how life in my eyes has changed being married to a Filipino,

Reading what i could and listening to what my future wife was telling me about life , to me it sounded wonderful, something like life was here in England a few years ago, all family members looking after each other and coming together most weekends and just sharing things,

Well i was very young when that happened here in England and i thought that would be nice going back to that sort of life too,

But is it really like that now,

I think it is if you have very little and the rest of the family are the same as you , not having much but sharing all you can between you all,

Now if there is a member in the family who lets say becomes a little richer , well yes they still try to share there kindness between the family but they will keep that little more back for themselves, you cant blame them can you,

But what happens when they become very rich, yes they still give the same amount to there family members but there own children become very westernize very quick wanting this and that and getting it too, and still there cousins and nephews, uncles and aunts are still poor and only just managing  ,

But you still read and listen that we Filipinos are caring and that families mean so much to us all, well yes but just dont tell them how rich you are really and just show off to the others ,

No harm ment to any real caring family members who may read this

[Jack Peterson]

Now if there is a member in the family who lets say becomes a little richer ,

 

Steve you are getting to the Point where you may find they actually believe " What is yours is Mine what is mine is My own"  Think about it for awhile :thumbsup: (well yes they still try to share there kindness between the family but they will keep that little more back for themselves, you cant blame them can you)

 

Just saying But.......................

 

Jack :tiphat:

Edited October 10, 2015 by Jack Peterson

[chris49]

Reading what i could and listening to what my future wife was telling me about life , to me it sounded wonderful, something like life was here in England a few years ago, all family members looking after each other and coming together most weekends and just sharing things,

 

Mate, we have that every day and it is nothing to look forward to. Mother in Law and Sis in Law do help out with the kids and Father in Law does his bit, mainly collecting firewood and helping with the farm work.

 

We just had, like 10 mins ago, another set of in laws, not mine, arrive, about 5 people. Nothing to do with me, but see them waving in my direction and I manage to wave back. I am not interested to entertain them, really. We typically have 7-8 adults hanging around here at mealtime, that's enough.

 

I don't mind providing food, but we also skip it once in a while. Consider the additional cooking oil,  condiments, the rice. The rice is served 3 times a day a but under my watch. I cut it to twice.

 

What I notice Steve, even those who are working, or maybe receiving a remittance, tend not to share out even a centavo. They will say they have a project going or working on something. The exception might be their own birthday, which is a big local tradition. Even then they might solicit "help".

 

I do better with the outsiders, mostly my bike mates. A few are poor but most of them will throw money on the table even if only 20 pesos. I saw a poor guy throw in 50 and it moved me a bit. Again some of the rich guys are kariput, that's for sure.

 

I am not sure Steve, and Jack and the others. But I built a good trust with Gina, and I get out a lot. I will get out and leave Gina with her daily allowance, so it wont be abused. I actually give it weekly, but today is Saturday and she will be low until Monday. I won't bail her out if others are hanging around. I have my own allowance, but I confuse her a bit, so she doesn't know exactly how much I have. Good if we need something, or last resort emergency food. Right now they are running around cooking some tiny fish and a native chicken from the farm here, so they are managing. I am clever to eat at least a snack or even early lunch when out, so I will not ask for food. If I don't want any, they can't really request anything. Market days and the day after, 4 days a week. Gina will feed the whole family. The other 3 days, hit and miss.

 

Let them get on with it. And don't drink alcohol at home, don't want them to see that and get ideas.

[stevewool]

Thanks for sharing Chris,

[Jake]

Good morning guys,

 

Let's put this in a more simpler terms: the old way was taking care of your Lolo and Lola and paying respects by demonstrating the mano-mano greetings to all the elders in the family.  Back then, as it is now there are multiple generations of families living under the same roof.

 

I don't have the numbers to explain my observation but these days (the new ways), those multiple family members now include more and more in-laws, close or distant cousins, illegitimate children with dead beat fathers and other derelicts. What happens to the grandparents, the supposedly patriarchs/matriarchs of the family?  Many are forced into slave baby sitting, while the parents are working somewhere in the middle east as OFW's.  

 

Many of the young males of these families are either drug or alcohol addicts, gamblers (sabong, etc) and womanizers. Along comes a foreigner with a dollar account into the family.  Yep, you guess it.....easy money, easy privileges with almost an immediate upgrade of their meager status -- new motorcycle, new TV, new roof, etc, etc.  

 

Due to the uncontrolled population explosion that feeds uncontrolled poverty, the culture of dependency, culture of impunity (for the rich and powerful) and the culture of saving face becomes the new world order.  It's not just in the Philippines either.  I can readily see some of this in California -- drugs, crime, unemployment, food stamps, welfare. When will this vicious cycle end?  

 

Not in my lifetime.......

Edited October 10, 2015 by Jake

[stevewool]

Morning Jake , you have a way with words :thumbsup:

[Jake]

Morning Jake , you have a way with words :thumbsup:

I think I'm becoming more and more like an old ornery billy goat, unwilling to accept the things the way they are now.  I believe my patience, as I get older is getting the best of me -- I'm still waiting for that so called stress free retirement after being a member of the rat race for so many years.  

 

Perhaps I should not read as much or watch the daily headlines anymore.  Is it becoming more doom and gloom?  I have already apologize to my children that my generation really made a mess of things for their generation.  Climate change, pollution, global upheavals, mass migration of displaced and oppressed people and politicians that still have their thumb up their butts -- I really hate the term political correctness.  Not to mention the new 3 letter word CEO (as in the 4 letter word), should be defined as evil and was caught sleeping with those same politicians.  

 

They can have the new ways.......

 

Respectfully -- Jake

[stevewool]

 

Morning Jake , you have a way with words :thumbsup:

I think I'm becoming more and more like an old ornery billy goat, unwilling to accept the things the way they are now.  I believe my patience, as I get older is getting the best of me -- I'm still waiting for that so called stress free retirement after being a member of the rat race for so many years.  

 

Perhaps I should not read as much or watch the daily headlines anymore.  Is it becoming more doom and gloom?  I have already apologize to my children that my generation really made a mess of things for their generation.  Climate change, pollution, global upheavals, mass migration of displaced and oppressed people and politicians that still have their thumb up their butts -- I really hate the term political correctness.  Not to mention the new 3 letter word CEO (as in the 4 letter word), should be defined as evil and was caught sleeping with those same politicians.  

 

They can have the new ways.......

 

Respectfully -- Jake

 

Well said that man