Educating Our Children! ( With Culture In Mind & We Can't Change It)

[Jack Peterson]

Spinning off the garbage burning I will if I may, Start this to highlight Something that is maybe a grey Area but based on something I said I felt is a must. :unsure:

We can all moan about things we find wrong with the Philippines, Take the Burning of Rubbish for a start,

Mikes Misadventure on the Beach. Kids Today will Follow Adults or their older Siblings and friends etc but they are doing what is in the Culture, a Culture that they have/are Growing up in, My daughters answer to my Question was bang on and I can't knock that  "You always tell me to listen and be taught by my Elders"

Take Chris's Wife and her Routine, it is what she was taught from probably a very early age so that is Life.

 

Take My wife, (Please) :hystery: you give them a Beautiful House, all Mod cons and what do they Do, Revert back to Culture and what they were taught. We engage a maid (Helper) but she still insists on getting up at the crack of and help the helper to help her  :)

What I think I am trying to say is that we just can't tell our Children to stop being Filipino and learn our ways,

To survive here they must learn from Mama who Learned from Her Mama and so on it goes.

My Maid(Helper) comes from up the mountains and does things I would not even begin to think about Doing, making Fences out of Bamboo and String ( Garden Fences around Flower beds I mean) We cant [or Shouldn't] Stop the Education of our Spoiled Children from Learning these silly but important things.

All the things we Moan about, Smoke, garbage Disposal and such will get better but it is going to take time,

TM ( our 16 year old Daughter) asks many things that I can usually have an answer for but I/we have to Remember, Had she asked an Uncle or Aunt even Lola, The Answer will have been the Filipino way

Result:  confusion to some degree.

 

If we were to stop our Children Learning their own Culture, This Place would surely be in a Bigger fix than it is already

Moral:

For me, Let them Grow up naturally with the Customs and Culture they will need to Survive after we oldies have gone. We can all say many things that will not Change a thing.

 

" You can take our Ladies out of the Phil's but never the Phil's out of the Ladies.

We have to Adapt Guys and Gals.

 

 

Jack :)

 

[jon1]

I agree Jack, but there are some things that we can do however to bring a little bit of common sense into our households. For example, bill paying. How many times have we run across the "we don't have to pay until the due date" syndrome? Then they moan about sitting in line for hours as they pay their electric bill along with the whole town at the same time? I was able to educate my wife on paying when the bill was received by having her humor me and pay the bills once all received (well before the due dates). The first time she did this, she was surprised that there were no lines and was able to accomplish all of the bill payments within a half hour vs. all day. 

 

Sometimes it is gentle prodding to get things done. If we can make small steps with the responsible adult (our spouse), then there will be less confusion for the children. I am not saying that this is 100% but at least we can make a segway into the common sense realm (this is independent of culture) where our foreign input is more readily received. I also believe that we (as foreigners) can influence our children via constant home education (in responsibility, work ethic, finances, etc.) that should be taught at home vs any school system.

[Jack Peterson]

I agree Jack, but there are some things that we can do however to bring a little bit of common sense into our households. For example, bill paying. How many times have we run across the "we don't have to pay until the due date" syndrome? Then they moan about sitting in line for hours as they pay their electric bill along with the whole town at the same time? I was able to educate my wife on paying when the bill was received by having her humor me and pay the bills once all received (well before the due dates). The first time she did this, she was surprised that there were no lines and was able to accomplish all of the bill payments within a half hour vs. all day. 

 

Sometimes it is gentle prodding to get things done. If we can make small steps with the responsible adult (our spouse), then there will be less confusion for the children. I am not saying that this is 100% but at least we can make a segway into the common sense realm (this is independent of culture) where our foreign input is more readily received. I also believe that we (as foreigners) can influence our children via constant home education (in responsibility, work ethic, finances, etc.) that should be taught at home vs any school system.

:thumbsup:  Ahhh! If Only, For many,The First words they ever heard from a parent was "Later Only" That phrase has stuck with just about all the locals I know but you are right of Course.

 

Jack  :)

[jon1]

yes the infamous "Wait lang" being the first words out of their mouth... hahaha

[chris49]

If we were to stop our Children Learning their own Culture, This Place would surely be in a Bigger fix than it is already Moral: For me, Let them Grow up naturally with the Customs and Culture they will need to Survive after we oldies have gone. We can all say many things that will not Change a thing. " You can take our Ladies out of the Phil's but never the Phil's out of the Ladies. We have to Adapt Guys and Gals.

 

Have to take the high ground and add some disagreement. She's your step daughter Jack and I think you did not have influence in her early years. You came along when she's already at a difficult age and she's already had Filipino indoctrination.

 

As with my previous kids I was luckily able to have them in a top level British private school all the way through elementary to HS. As such there Sri Lankan  traditional customs got blended with the British. They easily adapted to life in the USA and educationally they were way ahead.

 

But yes, that high level is not available here in the province. But I still subscribe to the same theory. Put the kids in the top available school and your chance to see positive results is increased. And many of our kids will follow that as they may go to country of citizenship later.

[Jack Peterson]

 

If we were to stop our Children Learning their own Culture, This Place would surely be in a Bigger fix than it is already Moral: For me, Let them Grow up naturally with the Customs and Culture they will need to Survive after we oldies have gone. We can all say many things that will not Change a thing. " You can take our Ladies out of the Phil's but never the Phil's out of the Ladies. We have to Adapt Guys and Gals.

 

Have to take the high ground and add some disagreement. She's your step daughter Jack and I think you did not have influence in her early years. You came along when she's already at a difficult age and she's already had Filipino indoctrination.

 

As with my previous kids I was luckily able to have them in a top level British private school all the way through elementary to HS. As such there Sri Lankan  traditional customs got blended with the British. They easily adapted to life in the USA and educationally they were way ahead.

 

But yes, that high level is not available here in the province. But I still subscribe to the same theory. Put the kids in the top available school and your chance to see positive results is increased. And many of our kids will follow that as they may go to country of citizenship later.

 

Then to me Chris you have a big Shock Going to happen to you at some stage.

Tm has had my Input since 8 years old, not a difficult age at all.

 For me, Schooling has nothing to do with the Education I have based my Topic on. I am talking Life Not School Education.

 

BTW she is at one of the Top 3 Schools in the Area but is still a Filipino and I would never want to change that.

 

Edit to make an Addition.

Edited October 26, 2015 by Jack Peterson

[chris49]

Then to me Chris you have a big Shock Going to happen to you at some stage. Tm has had my Input since 8 years old, not a difficult age at all.  For me, Schooling has nothing to do with the Education I have based my Topic on. I am talking Life Not School Education.   BTW she is at one of the Top 3 Schools in the Area but is still a Filipino and I would never want to change that.   Edit to make an Addition.

 

Then what is your point exactly?You have posted previously about communication difficulties, which some would consider to be normal with a 16 yo, as I recall how my kids used to brush me off at that age.

 

A good formal education is critically important from my education. As for Life Education, you get that at home? From the parents and certainly from the peer groups. I also want my kids to have a better educated level of peer groups in addition to the local relos and local friends and neighbors.

 

As for  your main point which seems to be "a Filipina should be a Flipina" as learned from her mother and down the line. Now I am sure that does apply. However in the Philippines there is a high incidence of absentee mothers working OFW or in other areas, so the sphere of influence is different, it's not always the loving doting Lola, it can be the Ate, anyone.

 

Anyway, Jack, can you explain further the meaning of your post?

 

If we were to stop our Children Learning their own Culture, Now how would we actually stop that in a normal Filipino household? The bigger problem here is the the breakdown of the family unit when the kids are younger. Now where would your step daughter be now if you were not on the scene 8 years ago.

 

Jack I have 3 kids raised successfully and 2 more to go. What shock am in in for that I do not already know about?

[Jack Peterson]

Jack I have 3 kids raised successfully and 2 more to go. What shock am in in for that I do not already know about?

 

Just this Chris, They are not going to turn out the way we want them to, They will do what they have always wanted to they will burn Rubbish, they will leave everything to the Last Minuet, it will always be Later only. and that is Filipino Life. once your two Youngsters get to school and among locals it will all creep in.

Any lack of Communication with TM is long gone now and believe me, most of day to day things about kids here comes from her. She knows as she is one. If I had not been about this last 8 years I have no Idea what her Life would be like but one thing for sure Being the Over Bearing Parent did not work So I went with the Flow and met 1/2 way and that is what this is all about. I stopped being the Know all Foreigner who thought he knew Everything and settled for a good family Life.

[chris49]

Just this Chris, They are not going to turn out the way we want them to, They will do what they have always wanted to they will burn Rubbish, they will leave everything to the Last Minuet, it will always be Later only. and that is Filipino Life. once your two Youngsters get to school and among locals it will all creep in. Any lack of Communication with TM is long gone now and believe me, most of day to day things about kids here comes from her. She knows as she is one. If I had not been about this last 8 years I have no Idea what her Life would be like but one thing for sure Being the Over Bearing Parent did not work So I went with the Flow and met 1/2 way and that is what this is all about. I stopped being the Know all Foreigner who thought he knew Everything and settled for a good family Life.

 

Again disagree, You are talking about a perception that Filipinos are always late and do everything at the last minute. If left alone yes, but we don't do it like that around here. If Gina wants to delay paying a bill, she is going to get a reminder of how difficult it will be if the due date rolls around and how difficult it will be to pay 2 bills if it's between pensions and we don't have extra cash.

 

As for lateness. I never tolerated that in my whole life and I don't tolerate it now. The only kind of lateness which affects me is other people's lateness which makes me late also. But my inner circle, my friends, my bike club, don't do that. Gina got the message and she follows my way, but she was not a late person anyway.

 

Then the other one. Automatically breaking a 500 or 1000 note for a small transaction. A sure way to see your money disappear. Still she doesn't get it 100% but when I'm there she will fumble around with the small change to see if she has enough.

 

Jack again the schools. In top schools lateness is not going be tolerated, I try to instill that in my kids but I expect the school to follow it up, if late you are excluded. Toe the line or else.

 

Problema again. My parents gave me an adequate upbringing, but my father was the most chronically late person I ever met. And that included getting me to sports events barely on time, and it was not well received. When I could go alone, by bike or walk, I got a much better idea of the advantage of being early. Maybe I will fail, but with Gina's help that's what I instill in the kids.

[Jack Peterson]

 

Just this Chris, They are not going to turn out the way we want them to, They will do what they have always wanted to they will burn Rubbish, they will leave everything to the Last Minuet, it will always be Later only. and that is Filipino Life. once your two Youngsters get to school and among locals it will all creep in. Any lack of Communication with TM is long gone now and believe me, most of day to day things about kids here comes from her. She knows as she is one. If I had not been about this last 8 years I have no Idea what her Life would be like but one thing for sure Being the Over Bearing Parent did not work So I went with the Flow and met 1/2 way and that is what this is all about. I stopped being the Know all Foreigner who thought he knew Everything and settled for a good family Life.

 

Again disagree, You are talking about a perception that Filipinos are always late and do everything at the last minute. If left alone yes, but we don't do it like that around here. If Gina wants to delay paying a bill, she is going to get a reminder of how difficult it will be if the due date rolls around and how difficult it will be to pay 2 bills if it's between pensions and we don't have extra cash.

 

As for lateness. I never tolerated that in my whole life and I don't tolerate it now. The only kind of lateness which affects me is other people's lateness which makes me late also. But my inner circle, my friends, my bike club, don't do that. Gina got the message and she follows my way, but she was not a late person anyway.

 

Then the other one. Automatically breaking a 500 or 1000 note for a small transaction. A sure way to see your money disappear. Still she doesn't get it 100% but when I'm there she will fumble around with the small change to see if she has enough.

 

Jack again the schools. In top schools lateness is not going be tolerated, I try to instill that in my kids but I expect the school to follow it up, if late you are excluded. Toe the line or else.

 

Problema again. My parents gave me an adequate upbringing, but my father was the most chronically late person I ever met. And that included getting me to sports events barely on time, and it was not well received. When I could go alone, by bike or walk, I got a much better idea of the advantage of being early. Maybe I will fail, but with Gina's help that's what I instill in the kids.

 

Chris you can disagree all you want, this is not about You and how efficient you are, it is about how we should be educating our Children in their culture with regard to another Topic that this is supposed to be a spin off of, but as usual, you have turned into Yours with the I, I, I, me, me, me, attitude. You are not a silly man Chris but there are times that turning a Topic into something that it is not, is not good, now before it starts to get any more personal, I would suggest you go back to the beginning and from the Title get things sorted in your mind.

The Title is "Educating Our Children! ( With Culture In Mind & We Can't Change It)" Then go maybe to the Rubbish Topic and you will see where I was Coming from.