Words Of Persuasion

[RBM]

Seems at times unless one is super firm one can be, in fact will be taken advantage of. We say firm, local culture says strict because we are reluctant to give away what we have spent a life time working for to free loaders.

Recently we upgraded our washing machine, thought I was doing a good turn by giving the older one to an Aussie friend living with a Filipina. Turns out he is now upset about it. Her whole family come down from the mountains, dirty laundry in tow......and he complains they are eating him out of house and home while doing their washing. His soap, his food and what does he get...the wife of dried fish cooking......

[Julia]

My other reason why I brought up this topic has something to do with a female member, our very own Miss Julia. We need to persuade her to be more active (in writing of course), so that we could gain a more understanding on how a Filipina sees us or how they tolerate us. We miss you, Miss Julia!

 

It is hard to say no when persuaded this way, Kuya Jake haha!

 

and yes, I will try my very best to share my thoughts on this matter when I get  the chance to come online next time and stay a little longer.

Edited November 16, 2015 by Julia

[Dave Hounddriver]

mother in law is coming to town (with a few tag alongs) and you need to pick them up at the nearest bus station.     Although, you really don't mind the visitor(s) because you developed a pretty good relationship already. But the timing really sucks!  You have two more weeks until next pension deposit and oh by the way, the weekend of their arrival is during Easter Sunday.  Whatcha gonna do?  

 

I usually try to put myself in the shoes of the other person.

 

Does she live nearby so she can come over any time?  When you say she is "coming to town" it gives the impression that this is a 'once in a blue moon' event.

 

If I was in the same town as my daughter and wanted to go for a visit after years of not seeing her or the Grandkids you can bet I would expect the son-in-law to at least be civil and stay out of the way if he had nothing nice to say.  If he did not want to pick me up at the bus stations I would figure he was having a pout so I would not say anything to my daughter to get them fighting.

 

So you also mention the financial concerns of having company.  Life can be tough.  It may have been tough for the mother in law, keeping her daughter in food and clothes etc for all those years and she may think it is her due to get a free meal in return 'once in a blue moon'.  She probably does not think your financial concerns are any of her business.

 

But the whole issue revolves around family.  Is she family?  Then don't get her upset or she'll leave and cut her daughter out of her will  :hystery:   :hystery:  

 

Anyway, that's ancient history now.  Thank god, Judy finally saw the true colors of her own mother.  Rather than using words of persuasion, I just let it fly.  I don't know how many times I told her.....see, I told you so.  

 

Was there really a need to get her to see the 'true colors of her own mother' when, as you put it, "that's ancient history now".

 

IMHO too many husbands feel threatened by their wife's ties to her family.  As a man with daughters. I tend to look at it a little different and it annoys the heck out of me when my daughter's husbands point out all of my failings (of which I have plenty) to my daughters.  But I don't need to say anything as they both have lots of daughters of their own and karma's a bitch  :dance:

[Jake]

 

My other reason why I brought up this topic has something to do with a female member, our very own Miss Julia. We need to persuade her to be more active (in writing of course), so that we could gain a more understanding on how a Filipina sees us or how they tolerate us. We miss you, Miss Julia!

 

It is hard to say no when persuaded this way, Kuya Jake haha!

 

and yes, I will try my very best to share my thoughts on this matter when I get  the chance to come online next time and stay a little longer.

 

Hello Miss Julia,

 

I know that you are very busy as a young business executive and we really appreciate your thoughts as a Filipina that has the courage to join this forum of mostly men, many are old farts like me.  

 

And personally, i am really grateful for tolerating the forum bastos -- me!  I just can't help it.  It's the devil in me, you know.....he, he.

 

You go Gurl.....!