Biting, Hitting And Tampo

[Jack Peterson]

As children, their plump cheeks are pinched, and their cute feet are bitten, without the intention to hurt. I have even observed little kids display this behavior.

 

:)  I guess some people just never grow out of things The EH? :no:

 

Jack :thumbsup:

[Dave Hounddriver]

Physical attacks, hitting, biting and pinching while knowing full well you clearly repeatedly say "NO" is a problem.

 

I have explained that to my spouse too.  I had to be extremely firm and explain that her 'playfulness' pushed my buttons to the point where I am close to reacting in a violent way and it is hard not to hit her back in self defense.  I told her that if her actions provoked me to the point where I felt  provoked to hit her then I MUST leave her for the protection of both of us.  No one is going to listen to me if I say "she provoked me to the point where I hit her in self defense" so if it even gets close to that point then I am walking away.  I told her I would not put up with that kind of provocation from anyone else in my life, ever, and I won't put up with it now.

 

You really MUST be firm on this.

[Jack Peterson]

I am of the opinion they think it is Funny! I see the teenagers doing it and they all laugh until one gets hurt then straight home to Mummy or Big brother.

I was at an 18th Party on Saturday and even there on the Stage giving the candles and speeches  they were doing it. Even during the Rose dance there were people walking up and nipping arms and Bums.( Butts) Playful yes maybe but Playful becomes sometimes meaningful. My wife found it embarrassing to watch but she is the same in the Office or at a Function with friends. Times I have been typing on the keyboard and in she comes and straight away will either punch my Arm or just sit rather heavily on my lap, and say I'm Home. 

 But....................... :no: ask for a quick kiss and a Cuddle and I am stupid. Say something a little risque and up comes the Fist.  :unsure:

 

Jack. :unsure:

 

Edit to Edit my Edit  :hystery:

Edited November 16, 2015 by Jack Peterson

[Jack Peterson]

And Tampo  :hystery:  I am going to change my name to  WHIDN (What have I done or not done now ?) cos no matter who did what or whose fault it is, I always seem to get the Tampo

Well it seems that way to me  :rolleyes:

 

Jack  :lol:

[stevewool]

Never had experience a tampo yet , i must be doing something right, YES DEAR , springs to mind

[stevewool]

 

Dave, i dont know if this will help at all, but Emma bites me too, its all done in play and i would not even say its biting, there are no marks left on my skin, i must also add this is done when she is excited more then just general stuff,

We do both laugh about it afterwards,

The hit in the oten  WHAT THE HELL IS A OTEN,

Your dick

 

Thats a stupid name, A dick is a dick unless its Dick Van Dyke

[chris49]

My wife likes to bite me - there I've said it. It's been going on since day one. I know that some couples like that love biting thing; to me it just feels like - pain. She also is fond of pinching, tickling and other manners of touching that I am not fond of. Of course there are plenty of ways she touches me that I do enjoy. Bottom line, no matter what I say I cannot get her to stop when I am uncomfortable with her antics and sometimes in all honestly they feel like borderline violence.

 

My Sri Lankan wife started it on me. I told her to quit but she didn't take it seriously. So I gave her a series of warnings. She thought it was funny, and occasionally she would wake me up with some form of niggling. I was told it was to get my attention. She didn't bite and it wasn't painful but it was extremely irritating.

 

I gave her probably 200 warnings and told her it wasn't funny. She failed to respond so I gave her 3 clear final warnings. She didn't get the message, so from then on I lost interest in the marriage. Because she sensed that, she niggled me more especially when I was tired from working.

 

After 15 years we separated and later got divorced. We still communicate, but I don't think she ever got the message. We divorced because of a long period of separation, living in 2 different countries. But her actions were one of the underlying causes.

My wife likes to bite me - there I've said it. It's been going on since day one. I know that some couples like that love biting thing; to me it just feels like - pain. She also is fond of pinching, tickling and other manners of touching that I am not fond of. Of course there are plenty of ways she touches me that I do enjoy. Bottom line, no matter what I say I cannot get her to stop when I am uncomfortable with her antics and sometimes in all honestly they feel like borderline violence.

 

My Sri Lankan wife started it on me. I told her to quit but she didn't take it seriously. So I gave her a series of warnings. She thought it was funny, and occasionally she would wake me up with some form of niggling. I was told it was to get my attention. She didn't bite and it wasn't painful but it was extremely irritating.

 

I gave her probably 200 warnings and told her it wasn't funny. She failed to respond so I gave her 3 clear final warnings. She didn't get the message, so from then on I lost interest in the marriage. Because she sensed that, she niggled me more especially when I was tired from working.

 

After 15 years we separated and later got divorced. We still communicate, but I don't think she ever got the message. We divorced because of a long period of separation, living in 2 different countries. But her actions were one of the underlying causes.

[DavidK]

Buy a Box (I believe that translates into "Cup" in American).

[davewe]

Thanks all for the input and concern - it's much appreciated. 

 

As suggested by several, some of this behavior is childhood based and playful. It's never left a mark or broken skin - it's just annoying. The slap in the oten was accidental. She claimed I moved at the last second but she is a bit of a klutz and usually walks around with several self-inflicted bruises. 

 

It's clear to me that immaturity is part of the issue. Not only never before married (it's been 2 years now) but no relationship experiences prior. We decided that we could go to bed and play for a period of time till it was time for sleep and that no meant no! She claimed she couldn't tell when she had caused pain and I told her "if I say or yell ouch - that's a good indication." We practiced it a bit letting her see where the line was. I don't want to tell her "no more ever" because it is clearly an important play for her.

 

The tampo thing was more obvious and I knew the reason. She gets very scared and withdrawn when I get angry - and I did get quite angry. 

 

So I will keep an eye on things and practice the "no means no" behavior and hope to train her. Of course it's also possible that at her age she's still teething, but I'll keep that opinion to myself :)

Edited November 16, 2015 by davewe

[Jake]

So I will keep an eye on things and practice the "no means no" behavior and hope to train her. Of course it's also possible that at her age she still teething, but I'll keep that opinion to myself  :)

 

Well.....there you go.  Our man Dave is figuring this one out for himself.  We just hope we did not intrude into your privacy too much.  

 

I really like your demeanor the way you're handling the situation, which is characterized by your timely humor and sensitivity to your lovely wife, Janet.   

 

Respectfully -- Jake

Edited November 16, 2015 by Jake