Death And The Wake.

[Jack Peterson]

:unsure:  I am not a Religious man at all and I have said this on quite a few occasions but neither am I an atheist,

The Philippines as in Spain, is to me, Grotesquely attracted to Death and the  departure from this world.

I don't want really to dwell on this but I would like to ask. Is it only me that will not attend Wakes? I will attend a Burial,  more so if I actually knew the person in life. The Funeral is Final to me, Dead is dead and I would sooner remember people for the smiles and usually the Laughter we had. This wake thing just gets me down, Family members always seem to end up talking at each other and not to each other.

Today we Buried my MIL's Elder Brother ( The Last one) he was 95, Good age here.

 

I did not attend the wake as I just do not like to see this Open Coffin thing.

The Burial was just 10 mins walk to the Cemetery for me so I just got back, My wife will now have the Snacks and the usual family and friends talk about how good he was BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. If I were to ask when was the last time any of them actually sat and talked to this Great Old guy that could tell some good Yarns about how they Made fun of the invading Forces and just tried to make their life as hard as they Could. Those maybe if I asked couldn't tell me honestly.

You know I reckon I may have been one of the last to see and talk to him and it was only 3 weeks ago.

 

There was I know for a fact one Family member that had not seen the Old boy for  maybe 2 years yet there she was at the Grave Head. Like it was her Brother. ( it was a 2nd cousin) My MIL was so very upset and told me HUH! he never liked her too many airs and graces. I did the burial in Respect of a Nice Homely Old man that had made me smile many times but not the 10 day Wake and to me the Hypocritical week of false Mourning that will Follow.

 

Sorry if this Hits a nerve but I am sure I am not the only one to think this way. Am I?

he was my wife's Uncle and Pretty well of by family Standards, YET! The Envelopes were given in as they are

 

Please Friends this not a Rant and I don't want it to be a Negative Issue Totally but................. Am I on my own here? OR

 

Jack :tiphat:

[Kuya John]

Likewise Jack

I have no wish to party around the coffin of a deceased.

Yes remember them for the person you knew.

But culture is culture,not my cup of tea.

Respects to the family....time to hit the sori sori store for a quiet one Jack.

[Jack Peterson]

Respects to the family....time to hit the sori sori store for a quiet one Jack.

 

 Thank You JB, I will pass this on to Mama and Azon. As for the Sori, Sori. Just giving that some thought.

but I know which hand will win, I like to think my left hand knows what my right hand is Doing.

My Right hand is not home yet so maybe I will take my left Hand out for a while.

Sorry Scott, I am not ready to yeald my Topic  just Yet :hystery:

[scott h]

Am I on my own here?

 

Not entirely brother, I go to them with the wife. At first I would try to observe and follow local traditions. But now I take a crossword puzzle sit in the corner and people watch, or take a walk around the neighborhood if I am not familiar with it. I cant speak for all, but the way I was raised we are not big on funerals, stick em in the ground, have a celebration of life (food and a beer or two) and your done.

 

From what I have observed, the viewings and such are just a handy reason to have a family and friend reunion on the cheap. I can not be sure, but with all the laughing and "picture/picture" taking folks seem to be talking about everything but the poor sod in the box :cheersty: .

 

(ya like that English slang at the end there heh heh)

[Jack Peterson]

but with all the laughing and "picture/picture" taking folks seem to be talking about everything but the poor sod in the box  .   (ya like that English slang at the end there heh heh)

 

 

Nice one Cyril  :hystery:

 

Jack  :thumbsup:

[expatuk2014]

aah the wake or a glorified feasting for the locals and far away relatives !

Just recently the Wifes Mother and my Adopted mother passed away ! she was 86yrs young and we paid for her hospital bills and medicines up to the early morning when she left us !

The money thing was not a problem for me as she was my wifes Mother !

aside from that there was no long wake she died on the Thursday and was buried on the following Tuesday !

 This was due to the fact that the mothers sister and the wifes brother had to fly back to the US and Saudi 1

I only attended the short wake when the singers arrived ! and when the far away relatives arrived !

We learnt our lesson last year when the eldest brother passed on as it was a 2 week wake !

and we had lots of locals come to the wake at lunch time and go away with bags of food ! !

one couple even came for breakfast lunch and dinner until the wife stopped them !

Coming from the UK the wake and all saints day is all new to me !

 

but then again its because I love my little Filipino princess !

[mogo51]

It is a bit like watching a bad movie.  Having just lost a good friend and went through a horrible 'cremation' (that is flattering to call it that),all the b.s. chanting, painting him to look like  a zombie, it was all too much.

The only time me and his other friends had a good time, was when we got on the drink and raised a few coldies to our friend.

[stevewool]

I hate everything about it.

The sad way you have to look.the tears.the Whisper's.

I wish I could stand up and clap the person out saying what a great life they had.

The wake.well that's just a piss up with folk you don't know.

Just my thoughts

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I don't generally go to the wakes here.  If it is local I may go for one evening (short visit). Going to a week long gambling party is not my cup of tea.  My wife's grandmother just died and my wife spent almost 2 weeks back in the province.  She was exhausted when she got home because none of the other sisters were there - so all the hosting duties fell to her.  We agreed after the fact that it was good I was not there, because I would not have put with that sh&t, and she would not have liked the scene I would have caused.

 

When my brother died (in the US) the family & friends gathered at his favorite pub and had a one night blow in his honor. 

 

It is their culture and they are welcome to it. I do not feel obliged to join in.  :tiphat:

[Jake]

:unsure:  I am not a Religious man at all and I have said this on quite a few occasions but neither am I an atheist,

 

Please Friends this not a Rant and I don't want it to be a Negative Issue Totally but................. Am I on my own here? OR

 

Jack :tiphat:

Hey guys,

 

Allow me to copy and paste some of your comments that hit the mark for me:

 

Mogo --- It is a bit like watching a bad movie.

ExpatUK --  aah the wake or a glorified feasting for the locals and far away relatives !

Scott -- the viewings and such are just a handy reason to have a family and friend reunion on the cheap. 

Kuya John -- I have no wish to party around the coffin of a deceased.

Stevewool -- I hate everything about it.

King Tuka -- It is their culture and they are welcome to it. I do not feel obliged to join in

 

Well, you guys got my blood boiling too.  It parallels All Souls Day (NOV 1st) where gambling, drinking and more drinking are observed around the burial site that was just freshly painted once a year.  Have you guys seen all the litter after that solemn event?  As far as the wake is concern (40 days after death), I think it's a morbid way to seek blessings from the dead, like trying to kiss the hand of the pope -- you'll be set for life.......yeah right.  It's a leftover from the C religion, like an afterbirth.  I've been to the Vatican and was thoroughly disgusted.  All I saw was the $$$ -- men in flowing robes, priceless artifacts and zero humbleness.  

 

I think it was Dave H who said that life is cheap and their death takes a financial toll on the surviving family.  Many of the lolo's and lola's are either neglected or forced into labor, endless babysitting all the kids under one roof.  Deadbeat fathers, lazy, gambling and womanizing are already covered in another emotional topic.  Thank you Jack and Kevin.  

 

And while I'm at it, here's another religious practice that makes me puke.  The street circus of young men parading barefooted, carrying the cross and whipping themselves to show blood on their backs (already pre-cut).  Displaying false remorse like this, brings in foreign tourists with bus loads of Japanese with cameras, street vendors selling candles and goodies.  Yeah, it's all commercialized, like Christmas.....my annual bankruptcy.  

 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm a struggling born again Christian and really believe in miracles that have saved my marriage and family over the years. But I'm not about to showcase my bling-bling whenever I'm forced to attend mass.  I'm just as content reading the Good Book in my own private way.  

 

Respectfully -- Jake, a sinner from day one.....

Edited December 4, 2015 by Jake