Worried For My Son's Welbeing From Abusive Mother

[Jack Peterson]

 

Chris49 do you have any knowledge in this area? This OP needs help

I came in late Ron. I am thinking in terms of a temporary restraining order, but it requires a hospital reportwith an actual injury. And this can go through barangay or directly through DSWD. I have some experience with restraining orders, but not in a child abuse case.

Policeman did once tell me video or photographic evidence is very highly recommended. Complaint without evidence is like heresay.

 

 I guess now the DSWD are involved any restraining order or the child's removal from the Home will be Paramount in their Minds.

Sad as it may sound, it could even involve the other two if the mother is judged to be unstable.

Lets Hope all ends well, maybe Tim, you can keep us Informed. I know this is a delicate Situation but it may help others here in the Future  :thumbsup:

 

Jack :)

[mogo51]

I'm not sure if this can help you, but maybe you can write on this column and ask for an advice about what are the legal actions you can do.

Address: 2/F Sitio Grande Building 409 A. Soriano Avenue, Intramuros Manila 1020 Philippines

Tel. : +63 (02) 524 5664 up to 67

Fax: +63 (02) 528-1729

Email: newsdesk@manilatimes.net / opinion@manilatimes.net

Just a sample : http://www.manilatimes.net/mistress-has-no-legal-right-to-demand-support/56134/

 

or you can call or report this in BantayBata163 : http://www.abs-cbnfoundation.com/bb163/about.html

 

If this post is genuine, then it is much more ugent to contact appropriate authorities rather than a paper column IMO?

If this woman is unstable, the child is in serious trouble.  However, I suspect it may be another case of not getting enough money to buy the stuff she wants for herself and her other boyfriend.

[mogo51]

This is a battle you cannot win.  You say she hates you and she is projecting this hatred onto your son.  No person or embassy is going to come between a Filipina mother and her son when the father is a foreigner.  The sooner you walk completely away from any contact with her, the sooner she will calm down and start acting in a motherly way towards her son.  THEN, when things have calmed down, you can start the process of visitation etc through a lawyer or other intermediary.

 

Agree Dave, but short term, I believe that the Child Protection Authority there, if not existing by name only, must establish that it is 

idle threat, as opposed to someone who has dropped the marble bag.   Then most definately, I concur with your observations.

[Methersgate]

What a horrible situation.

 

I think it would be unwise to make any further payments to the mother. Take advice from the DSWD on this. 

 

I am reading between the lines and perhaps adding two and two to make five, but the mother's behaviour is so unusual that I wonder if she has a "shabu" (methamphetamine) "habit"? The drug is in very widespread use and amongst the side effects are mood swings, a propensity to violence and a tendency to paranoia.

 

I absolutely would NOT travel to the Philippines in your situation. There may very well be another "boyfriend" whom she can motivate to turn her threats into reality.

 

Is there another family member whom you can trust? 

Edited December 4, 2015 by Methersgate

[Methersgate]

I suspect it may be another case of not getting enough money to buy the stuff she wants for herself and her other boyfriend.

 

You are not alone in thinking that. 

[Hey Steve]

Mogo makes a good point too regarding a 3rd party. It seems there's a/some bad people behind the scenes coaching her - all for the benefit of financial gain. I wonder if the money to buy that lot was a genuine request given the erratic behavior as to her not recieving money.

[Methersgate]

Having been in a similar position...

 

Have you had a DNA test run by a clinic approved by the British Embassy?

 

Rather a lot of children of foreigners by Filipina mothers turn out to be no such thing (don't ask me how I know that), but such a test will be a requirement for a British passport anyway. 

 

Calling for a test now may help to bring the mother to her senses, if you have not had one done. The fact that the Embassy require it is a justification for calling for one.  

Edited December 4, 2015 by Methersgate

[Tim31]

After a long video chat with her today, I feel more confident that she will not harm my child. Ive seen my son's body and he was smiling and laughing today.

I beleive that she was just pushing my buttons because she knew that I would react to her harming my child.

 

I would like to defend her and say that she does not smoke Shabu, she does not have another boyfriend. She was a teacher in a public school before she was pregnant. I am 100% sure that he is my son, even without a DNA test. Great work on the judgement guys, but don't judge all filipinas like that because of your experiences.

 

I have been in contact wih the regional manager of DSWD in Cebu, I will be letting her know later on that my son is safe.

[davewe]

After a long video chat with her today, I feel more confident that she will not harm my child. Ive seen my son's body and he was smiling and laughing today.

I beleive that she was just pushing my buttons because she knew that I would react to her harming my child.

 

I would like to defend her and say that she does not smoke Shabu, she does not have another boyfriend. She was a teacher in a public school before she was pregnant. I am 100% sure that he is my son, even without a DNA test. Great work on the judgement guys, but don't judge all filipinas like that because of your experiences.

 

I have been in contact wih the regional manager of DSWD in Cebu, I will be letting her know later on that my son is safe.

It sounds like you are going the correct route (or at least the best one possible) but let's face it, the situation is concerning. Filipinas can be jealous and emotional, so threatening you does not sound at all unusual. However, threatening her own child does. That was what others were responding to. I mean your topic title does refer to an "abusive mother." Just sayin...

[Dave Hounddriver]

I would like to defend her and say that she does not smoke Shabu, she does not have another boyfriend. She was a teacher in a public school before she was pregnant. I am 100% sure that he is my son, even without a DNA test. Great work on the judgement guys, but don't judge all filipinas like that because of your experiences.  

 

Just two points.  First, it is clear that you are defending this lady's character, which is much different from the alarms you were ringing in the opening post, but your statements are things you cannot possibly be 100% sure of.  Many have assumed the same and many have been wrong.  The actions you wrote of do not translate to a stable, honest, drug free personality.  Second, we can only judge people based on our own experiences with similar people.  Saying that 'we' are judging 'all filipinas' is a conclusion 'you' have jumped to.

 

So keep an open mind and be willing to listen to others.  It is better to learn now than to realize 'those guys were right' later.