Family Values In Philippines, Do The Kids Really Take Care Of Their Parents

[Jack Peterson]

Seems like we all have a story we can tell....

My wife before we met, was the one left to look after her Mom n Dad

while her siblings all enjoyed the fruits of their working.

Once she met me, married and came to UK, the rest of the family decided

to sell the family farm and left her out of any inheritance because she was

married to a foreigner.

 JB That just about sums it all Up

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Seems like we all have a story we can tell....

My wife before we met, was the one left to look after her Mom n Dad

while her siblings all enjoyed the fruits of their working.

Once she met me, married and came to UK, the rest of the family decided

to sell the family farm and left her out of any inheritance because she was

married to a foreigner.

 

You can get cut out of the money in a heartbeat ha ha....  After Yolanda erased my wife's (girlfriend at the time) house - good thing we did not live in it - the Barangay Capt was giving out some government money.  He said she did not get any... because she had 2 OFW sisters and a foreigner boyfriend.  :tiphat: 

[bows00]

This is a tough topic, especially when I am struggling to come up with a solution for my own mother.  Currently, my plan is to have her come with me to the Philippines once I can secure a decent place with a live in helper for her, but she does not want to leave the comforts of Hawaii...

 

As for the current generation of young adults, maybe it is a good thing that they learn from the difficulties of their Filipino parents and take the initiative to break the cycle of relying on your children to take care of you in your later years.  The more I research the culture, the more I realize that there is definitely a need for financial education - on how to save and invest for your future so you that you will have more than a house and land (that won't bring in any income). 

 

There was a wise man who once said "You can be young without money, but you can't be old without money". 

[Jollygoodfellow]

After Yolanda erased my wife's (girlfriend at the time) house - good thing we did not live in it - the Barangay Capt was giving out some government money.  He said she did not get any... because she had 2 OFW sisters and a foreigner boyfriend. 

 

 

 

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. There was only so much money and it had to go around so if one could look after their own then they should. 

[davewe]

I agree with the guys who said that (like most things in life) YMMV. After all there are many guys right here on this forum who complain about their wives or gfs sending money to take care of the family, pay lolo's medical bills and/or funeral expenses, help siblings, remodel their parents' house, etc. And there are plenty of guys who agree to "help" as well. In those scenarios it doesn't seem likely that the wife doesn't care about her parents.

 

Invariably when a thread like that starts, someone comments that neither he nor his wife "contributes" to the family. Guys pat him on the back and wonder how he trained his wife so well. Maybe he trained his wife and maybe that's just one of those families where the kids don't believe in, don't want to, or can't take care of their parents.

 

I find that Filipinas are pretty judgmental and so I am sure if I ask Janet she will tell me horror stories about children who never took care of their parents, but that comes from the perspective of a woman who is determined to help her parents and thinks those that don't are scumbags :)

 

I have a buddy here in the US who lives with his Filipina gf. So he did it differently from most of us and has never been to the Philippines, nor has any interest in going. The girl owns her home, and sponsored her mother and brother to move to the US, who both live with her. My friend cannot understand why they live with her (even though the brother pays rent). He cannot understand why the family is so connected, though I suppose if you press him he thinks it's a nice thing that his gf takes care of her mother.

 

In the end I am the typical American - independent and expecting everyone to be that way. I don't take care of my father; his partner of many years does, as does the government. So whether a Filipina takes care of her parents or not - it's hard for me to complain or judge.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Well, here in the PI's they pretty much have to take of each other - there is no social safety net. In most of the countries we come from being "poor" does not mean the same thing as it does here.....   :tiphat:

[Old55]

Well, here in the PI's they pretty much have to take of each other - there is no social safety net. In most of the countries we come from being "poor" does not mean the same thing as it does here.....   :tiphat:

 

It's true and if a Filipino were somehow to cut or loose family ties the ramifications could be.......

[scott h]

ramifications could be

 

Catastrophic

[stevewool]

And here is me thinking i have married into the wrong family,

Standing back  watching and listening is what i like to do and you do learn a lot very quickly,

Emma still thinks that the whole family do there best for each other, but because they all have commitments,ie, children, they just cannot give that much, 

But as many say they seem to have the latest gadgets and seem to be telling us that they have brought cars and even booked holidays to Borocay, but they cannot send a little cash to there dad or sick brother,

It all came to a head this new year when it came out that because we dont have kids its down to Emma and her husband to look after dad and the brother,well we built the house which i am told is our house too for how ever long we are alive , YER RIGHT ,

I am no fool my life is to support myself and my wife , yes we will help when we can and to the right people too,

I have told Emma that we need our own place that no family member can come in and say its theirs because i feel that will happen one day and i dont want any pressure on my wife,

Where money is concerned everyone is greedy and the men are just so jealous and dangerous when drunk ,

Come to think of it i wish i found myself a orphan to fall in love with , there would be no family to fall out with ,

Dont tell Ems that last line KEVIN

[stevewool]

It's true and if a Filipino were somehow to cut or loose family ties the ramifications could be.......

 

Or the best thing that ever happened to them , just my thought maybe