Redux: The Art of Saying Sorry (2008Jollygoodfellow)

[manofthecoldland]

I read the posts, and thought.... have things changed?

There seemed to be conflicting opinions tied up with cultural and linguistic inheritances.

My own wife will often start delivering bad news to people by saying< "hI am very sorry, but.....".

However, she seldom, if ever, verbally admits personal errors to me, even when she indirectly accepts her errored judgement call. I freely admit when I made a mistake, but she often just does the silent thing. Is there something linguistic or cultural (other than saving face) that prevents people to easily say, "I was mistaken." ?

We never argue about these matters, but it just seems strange to me that there might be a cultural element that prevents people from admitting that they might have made a mistake or made a poor call.

Is it an East vs. West thing or what? Any opinions or personal experiences with such that might shed some light on this ?

[Mike S]

J has no problem admitting when she is wrong or saying she is sorry for doing something she did .... but from what I understand that is not the norm here ... Filipino's don't ever like to admit that they were wrong about anything ..... so why should you say you are sorry when you are never wrong .... 

[chris49]

Yeah the Filipino pride does hold them back from saying sorry or admitting a mistake. Often an error in judgment which might disappoint us, so they protect themselves by not admitting the mistake.

Gina will not easily say sorry and definitely not under pressure. But she might come back later and say sorry, but if she does, she dos not want the issue discussed further.

Then in the workplace previously. Head Nurse, me, over a staff off 60% Filipino. I was very lenient, but they did live in fear of getting reprimanded or maybe getting fired. They will cover up a situation and not make any admission, even later. You might get the story through another staff member, but not from the one who made the error.

I think you adjust, because it seems to be cultural. Whereas we will quickly apologize in order to clear the air and move on.

[DGTXPAT]

Saying sorry....well if I apologized for everything I did or do wrong...then I suppose that the majority of the words out of my mouth would be "Sorry". Certainly I have experienced that stubborn Filipina  that doesnt admit being wrong but I am no better. In my own defense I have to say I realize when I F&*K up but I do not like it rebabbled and I just prefer that everyone just moves on. OK so you make a mistake...we get it...we really dont need to belabor the issue with saying sorry. I am human I make mistakes,much more than most, but overall I try to do more good than bad in a day so I can forgive myself.

   As for my experiences with filipina's I think that they have a very difficult time saying sorry and are often redirecting when confronted. Pride....i am not sure if that is the issue or as someone mentioned maybe cultural in nature. Ever notice that filipinas tend to be quiet or withdrawn when someone is upset with them?

  Thats my 1.5 cents