Are you really with the one you love

[MacBubba]

I've yet to discuss this topic with her, but I think I know what her response will be.  My wife is a Filipino national, but a long-time Canadian resident and citizen.  Would she advise someone to buy a house in the name of his/her partner without benefit of marriage?  Her answer would be - not in Canada, and certainly not in the Philippines. 

Update:  She just walked by and agreed with my summation above.

Would she equate commitment with marriage?  She would give it an edge over non-marriage.  Would she equate the purchase of a home with commitment?  Ostensibly, but not conclusively.

[robert k]

19 minutes ago, MacBubba said:

I've yet to discuss this topic with her, but I think I know what her response will be.  My wife is a Filipino national, but a long-time Canadian resident and citizen.  Would she advise someone to buy a house in the name of his/her partner without benefit of marriage?  Her answer would be - not in Canada, and certainly not in the Philippines. 

Update:  She just walked by and agreed with my summation above.

Would she equate commitment with marriage?  She would give it an edge over non-marriage.  Would she equate the purchase of a home with commitment?  Ostensibly, but not conclusively.

How about if she knew you had bought a house for previous wives?

[MacBubba]

I tried asking her.  All she says is that she doubts that she would be in a relationship with someone with a history of multiple failed marriages.

[Jack Peterson]

1 minute ago, MacBubba said:

I tried asking her.  All she says is that she doubts that she would be in a relationship with someone with a history of multiple failed marriages.

Although not really a question of this here but putting it to failed Relationships on her part what would we think? As with all  things, there are always two sides, I hear quite a few stories of So & So is on her 4/5/6 Foreign B/F or such and the Locals in between. Red Flag time for us as well, for those that want to Learn 

3 Kids, do we ask, All the same father? So much to read and think about as we progress 

 

Jack 

Morning All 

[Ynot]

20 hours ago, robert k said:

Wow, you should really read the last paragraph of your original post.

"For those of us who have gone down the path of buying a property, we at least have made some provision for our partner should the relationship fail or in the event of our unfortunate demise." This sounds a trifle premature not having been carried through yet.

It did not sound like you were very good at commitment before and you haven't explained how this time is different. While I weigh all advise, I like to get it from people who have succeeded. I know you think you have it all figured out this time but only time will tell.

It really sounds to me like you are denigrating the (large percentage of) relationships of others in your original post, while bragging about yours and about a house that you haven't bought yet. I'm curious if you think you used to be in that group of the large percentage of people who were in a relationship with someone who was "not the one you really love"? Or is that just something that happens to other people?

Maybe this would have been the perfect thread....in about 2-3 years from now?

Many a slip twixt the cup and the lips. No plan survives contact with the Philippines intact. Good luck with it anyway.

I take your point about i have not built the house yet I intend to build when i do retire there with the one i do love.  I have gone past the point of deciding should or should I not, I've decided I will, but you are right I have not built it for her yet, but i have made a provision in my will in case something should happen to me before I am able  to build the house.  What is important is that my intent is to build.  I have not decided I will not buy a house where I am able to  and can afford to, but choose not to because I can not put it in my name.  To me, that sounds like you are sleeping with and sharing your life with someone you do not completely trust. Now in that circumstance, surely you are not with the one you love.  Because my view if you loved her, you would trust her and she loves and trusts you.  It's not all one way, there are two in the relationship.

And Im not sure where you came to the conclusion I was not committed to my relationships, I believe I have always been committed to them, and in fact albeit its no ones business, my previous relationship failed not due to my doing, but my ex partners.  Nevertheless, we are still good friends.  How many of you can say you are good friends with your ex???  Hence the reason I can still visit Thailand and stay at the house when I like.   

But it is good to see your interest in the topic. :)  

[robert k]

2 hours ago, Ynot said:

I take your point about i have not built the house yet I intend to build when i do retire there with the one i do love.  I have gone past the point of deciding should or should I not, I've decided I will, but you are right I have not built it for her yet, but i have made a provision in my will in case something should happen to me before I am able  to build the house.  What is important is that my intent is to build.  I have not decided I will not buy a house where I am able to  and can afford to, but choose not to because I can not put it in my name.  To me, that sounds like you are sleeping with and sharing your life with someone you do not completely trust. Now in that circumstance, surely you are not with the one you love.  Because my view if you loved her, you would trust her and she loves and trusts you.  It's not all one way, there are two in the relationship.

And Im not sure where you came to the conclusion I was not committed to my relationships, I believe I have always been committed to them, and in fact albeit its no ones business, my previous relationship failed not due to my doing, but my ex partners.  Nevertheless, we are still good friends.  How many of you can say you are good friends with your ex???  Hence the reason I can still visit Thailand and stay at the house when I like.   

But it is good to see your interest in the topic. :)  

Since you are committed, why don't you just send her the money now to go buy some land or a house? You could get a leg up on things that way.

I don't know what currency you are paid in but the USD seems to be falling rapidly in comparison to the PHP. You might do well to convert the money now.

Edited March 16, 2016 by robert k

[Ynot]

4 minutes ago, robert k said:

Since you are committed, why don't you just send her the money now to go buy some land or a house? You could get a leg up on things that way.

I don't know what currency you are paid in but the USD seems to be falling rapidly in comparison to the PHP. You might do well to convert the money now.

Im Australian and not yet retired, so do not have access to my super yet, I have two super accounts, one of which I voluntarily contribute to and that is the one I intend to use to build the house etc, but I can not access it until I retire. the other account is to provide an income to support us.  And yes the Australian dollar has fallen over 25%.  At one stage we were getting above $1us for an aussie dollar, now for $1 Aud we get 75 cents. :(

 

[robert k]

26 minutes ago, Ynot said:

Im Australian and not yet retired, so do not have access to my super yet, I have two super accounts, one of which I voluntarily contribute to and that is the one I intend to use to build the house etc, but I can not access it until I retire. the other account is to provide an income to support us.  And yes the Australian dollar has fallen over 25%.  At one stage we were getting above $1us for an aussie dollar, now for $1 Aud we get 75 cents. :(

 

We will just have to hope that the exchange rate doesn't get any worse then.

[Kuya John]

Lot of chat here good post, this song sums it up for me.......

Engelbert Humperdinck - If Tomorrow Never Comes (Lyrics) - YouTube

[Julia]

1 hour ago, Kuya John said:

Lot of chat here good post, this song sums it up for me.......

Engelbert Humperdinck - If Tomorrow Never Comes (Lyrics) - 

hehehe:-)