Who gets what?

[Ynot]

I recently did a post about  "äre you really with the one you love" and in that post I asked the question about if the relationship came to end, would you see your way clear to give her / him something, similar to what you would do in your homeland. And by that I mean in Australia for example, if you have been living together as husband and wife (more than 12 months) albeit you may not be married, your ex partner has a right of claim against your assets, particularly those assets you have accumulated whilst you were together!  

Hardly anyone addressed the above issue, and I was just interested to see how many of you would actually give something to your ex partner.  

Maybe some of you would see providing for her whilst you were together and allowing her to share your life is reward enough!   

But I suspect a lot would not voluntarily pass on any assistance to their ex partner, no matter whose fault it was, whereas if you were back home you probably would have no choice and the courts would take that decision out of your hands if it went that far.

 

[Jack Peterson]

20 minutes ago, Ynot said:

I recently did a post about  "äre you really with the one you love" and in that post I asked the question about if the relationship came to end, would you see your way clear to give her / him something, similar to what you would do in your homeland. And by that I mean in Australia for example, if you have been living together as husband and wife (more than 12 months) albeit you may not be married, your ex partner has a right of claim against your assets, particularly those assets you have accumulated whilst you were together!  

Hardly anyone addressed the above issue, and I was just interested to see how many of you would actually give something to your ex partner.  

Maybe some of you would see providing for her whilst you were together and allowing her to share your life is reward enough!   

But I suspect a lot would not voluntarily pass on any assistance to their ex partner, no matter whose fault it was, whereas if you were back home you probably would have no choice and the courts would take that decision out of your hands if it went that far.

 

 My friend, lets not forget where we are, with no Divorce laws and the way  things are here, you would be lucky you have anything to Give an EX

Edited March 26, 2016 by Jack Peterson

[manofthecoldland]

16 hours ago, Ynot said:

I recently did a post about  "äre you really with the one you love" and in that post I asked the question about if the relationship came to end, would you see your way clear to give her / him something, similar to what you would do in your homeland. And by that I mean in Australia for example, if you have been living together as husband and wife (more than 12 months) albeit you may not be married, your ex partner has a right of claim against your assets, particularly those assets you have accumulated whilst you were together!  

Hardly anyone addressed the above issue, and I was just interested to see how many of you would actually give something to your ex partner.  

Maybe some of you would see providing for her whilst you were together and allowing her to share your life is reward enough!   

But I suspect a lot would not voluntarily pass on any assistance to their ex partner, no matter whose fault it was, whereas if you were back home you probably would have no choice and the courts would take that decision out of your hands if it went that far.

 

 

Edited March 26, 2016 by manofthecoldland
I'm not sure I understand your assumptions in this matter. Is it that if she tolerates living with you for a period of time that she ought to be compensated in long term material benefits?

[robert k]

I could see there being a problem with giving her half of your income while you were together, after all the bills and expenses should be shared in an equal partnership.

How about half of what you were able to save during the partnership because she presumably benefitted from the paying of rent and utilities and buying food, travel expenses? If you say you are paying her because you love her, I think you are PERILOUSLY close to prostitution. I would love her because I love her. If I gave her gifts, they would be because I loved her and if I did not give her gifts it would not mean I did not love her. There is no entitlement.

 Unless you are really making BANK on your retirement (I believe few are) there may not be a lot accumulated after expenses. In say three years.

But if it will make the OP happy, I will agree guys that you should give her half of what you managed to save from your retirement income while you are together. Whether that be 20k php or 80k php, go ahead and split it with her. AS long....as it is a simple case of irreconcilable differences. If I catch her being disloyal, she needs to grab her junk and get out.

I'm not sure the OP isn't suggesting that she is entitled to half of what you made before you met her through a long life in which you may have deprived yourself and shown discipline many years to create that very nest egg.

Edited March 26, 2016 by robert k

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, Ynot said:

I was just interested to see how many of you would actually give something to your ex partner.  

Many MANY guys give their ex partner the house and lot after a very short period of marriage.  Its not exactly voluntary, any more than the guys in other countries voluntarily give something to their ex partner.  Its the way things are set up here.  Marry an old foreigner, get him to buy a house and lot, in the gf name, and then wait for either separation or death and voila . .  free house.

It seems to me its the smart ones who DON'T give anything to the ex.  I mean, why pay for the cow that your neighbor is milking 

[Old55]

If I were living in Philippines with a Filipina GF and the relationship ended on good terms then yes I would provide enough for her to move on in a comfortable manner. I would hope we could be friends. As others stated if the person were to play games I would simply move on. Choices have consequences.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

If we were not married she is entitled to nothing - just like in the US.  If we are married.... there is no divorce in the PI's ha ha. 

[stevewool]

I can only answer this my way,

I am married and if anything happened between me and my wife or soon to become ex wife, she would have all she earned and whats in her bank plus the house that is in the Philippines, everything else i am sure i would keep,

But i am not wanting that and i hope she is not too,

[Ynot]

4 hours ago, Ynot said:

I was just interested to see how many of you would actually give something to your ex partner.  

This is part of what I wrote, and its interesting to see some of you would be willing to give your ex something if the relationship went south, provided she was not playing around which is good to know.  

I was not suggesting that you should share what you had accumulated prior to the relationship only what you had accumulated during the relationship. I'm assuming the ex was the love of your life at one stage and no one is suggesting you are paying her to be with you, it's about what would you do if the relationship ended other than moving on, would you make some provision for her particularly where you had managed to save something whilst together.   If per chance the cupboards are empty because you are living hand to mouth each week, then there would nothing to give, and i would be clear she loved you for who you were and not what you had as you clearly did not have much.  

 

[robert k]

1 hour ago, Ynot said:

This is part of what I wrote, and its interesting to see some of you would be willing to give your ex something if the relationship went south, provided she was not playing around which is good to know.  

I was not suggesting that you should share what you had accumulated prior to the relationship only what you had accumulated during the relationship. I'm assuming the ex was the love of your life at one stage and no one is suggesting you are paying her to be with you, it's about what would you do if the relationship ended other than moving on, would you make some provision for her particularly where you had managed to save something whilst together.   If per chance the cupboards are empty because you are living hand to mouth each week, then there would nothing to give, and i would be clear she loved you for who you were and not what you had as you clearly did not have much.  

 

I was just pointing out that for the greater majority unless we were talking about money made before the relationship, it may not be that big of a deal to give her half of what was saved from monthly income. Many people don't have a large cushion, and plan to run back to their home countries (if possible) if some major medical problem crops up.

I had one friend who blew through 3 million php in 20 months and now he lives on his social security alone, which is sufficient if not ample.. He thoroughly disappointed me. He told me that his only purpose in life was seeing to the wellbeing of his wife and adopted daughter. He blew that mission. There will be no house and land, college for the wife or private education for the daughter. He was blowing his trumpet. When he dies they will have nothing but household chattel furnishings and appliances some expensive laptops that are a few years old and maybe worth 25% of what they paid for them and a 28 year old car that might be worth 100k on Negros, less on Cebu. This is only if they don't wind up selling off all this stuff to make ends meet.

I don't have a lot of time for people talking the talk. When I see them walk the walk, they may gain my attention. I do become curious why someone would worry so much about everyone else. I worried about the man mentioned above because he was my friend of 6 years. Was is the operative word. I fixed his car, I gave him the money to get married with. I paid his rent and utilities for a month. I tried to teach him to be frugal....waste of time at 73 years of age, but I tried. We are now estranged because he started looking at me as a source of income because his nest egg is gone and will never come again. Life will tutor him now.

You have said what you think is right and what you plan to do. Well and good. You haven't managed it yet. I wouldn't boast of what I intend to do, just do it. I am also aware that plans that sound good and reasonable have a tendency to hit a CHB wall in the Philippines and become messy. Good luck with that. Just keep in mind that things can go wrong.

I don't worry about the generosity of others. While I may sound like the cheapest skin flint in the world, when I had to leave the Philippines on family business I gave away everything acquired in 11 months, jeep(with good title), full automatic washing machine. furniture, household goods, tools, a handmade box I made that had about 4k worth of hardwood in it. I kept a towel and a coffee mug that had sentimental value. Probably 200k worth of stuff and I just gave it away, didn't even attempt to sell it. I would not though suggest that anyone else needs to do the same. I am not my brothers keeper or conscience. I will speak up if I see them driving towards a cliff though.