Is there jealousy in your relationship?

[Gratefuled]

Is your SO the jealous type?  Are you?

Jealousy we know is an emotion but often it is based on insecurity.  

I am careful with what I do and say so as not to make mine jealous. I suspect that she is a little insecure but I never give her any reason to doubt me. When we are out together I only have eyes for her. When we are walking, my eyes are straight ahead. Sometimes during a movie my wife will ask me, "do you think she's pretty?".  My wife will sometimes find fault in a sexy woman. She might say, "she has a big mouth", or "she probably has implants". I'll agree and not add anything else. I will change the subject if I have to.. I'm not a flirt but when alone, I do like to look more than I would if my wife were with me. That's all, just look.

I feel very secure with her love for me. My wife doesn't even like to wear anything remotely sexy in public. She wears shorts over her panties if she has on a short skirt and she won't ride a jeepney if she has on a short skirt. the only attention we draw is towards me and only because they are curious of the foreigner. 

What about you and yours?

I'm sure this question has come up before, just curious.

[Sander Martin]

Im 99% sure that every Filipina is jealous. My SO is aswell. I might be looking randomly out of the jeepny window for a longer period while in traffic and she will ask me why am i looking at a girl (who i didnt even see haha :D).

[Tukaram (Tim)]

My wife seems to be less jealous than other's I have known.  She knows I look at other girls - I told her if I quit looking to bury me!  But all I do is look, so no worries.  We know that we both are with each other voluntarily, and we seem to be happy staying together...

She finds it hysterical when the ladyboy's flirt with me ha ha  

[chris49]

16 hours ago, Gratefuled said:

What about you and yours?

Most women are jealous types. The Filipina fits the mould and many will take it to the extreme.

Gina's no exception**, but she does a good job of not showing much overtly.

I will wander off topic and say that the times I have heard "My girl is an exception"...that usually tells me there are problems being covered up.

Anyway Gina is not an exception, she's a woman after all. The one caveat, i suppose is that in looking at other women, as I tend to, she feels secure in herself....who would want that old man, she might be thinking?

I have seem more extreme cases, acts of violence, breaking up objects in the household, but I have been around long enough, I would walk away from that if I had to.

Nice topic, let's see what comes out of it.

[Kuya John]

I have never given my wife any reasons to feel insecure, but only yesterday while out shopping together, spotting

a very large lady walking towards us, she asked, would you still love me if I was so big.

To which I replied........Only from a distance!

[scott h]

1 hour ago, Sander Martin said:

Im 99% sure that every Filipina is jealous. My SO is aswell

Oh boy, oh boy. I found out a long time ago and the hard way. When we were first married, we were in a store in the States. A very attractive young lady (store clerk) was trying to get something down from a high shelf. Whelp, being my mothers son, I politely held a ladder for her, and assisted her with her burden. When done, I smiled at the young lady and said your welcome. Turned to my bride to resume our shopping and my blood turned cold by the look I saw on my wife's face. For years I thought it might have been that my wife had a bad experience of being jilted in her past, but as I got to hear other experiences from my fellow brow beaten husbands, it seems to just be a cultural trait.

And guys? It doesn't get better, after 20 some years of marriage we moved here and were shopping at Wilcon. We were in an aisle and the wife was jabbering away in Tagolog to the sales people. I just zoned out. You know what I mean, my eyes just got unfocused and my brain went blank, the old "1000 yard" stare. Well, it just so happened my head was pointed in the general direction of a very attractive butt in tight pants (I swear by all that's holy I had no idea) but I sure got an elbow in the ribs. 

[expatuk2014]

yes I look but thats all ! my wife loves it when the store staff ask her about me !

is he an American or English where did you meet etc ! 

And when she introduces me to her friends and workmates its " this is MY Kuya "

its the little things she does that shows she loves me, like when she goes to the market

she always buys me 2 doughnuts ! 

My eyes may wander but my heart belongs to her

[Hey Steve]

My wife has already told me to watch out for the "ering ering" women-and so when she chats (gossips) with her sister they talk about that activity in the neighborhood. Everyone knows everyone's business there-and the jealousy, I guess can be well founded when this is not so uncommon-at least in her neck of the woods (jungle).

I told her I may read the menu but won't order off it-and don't expect her to turn away from looking at an attractive guy...we're human after all.

[manofthecoldland]

Jealousy seems to be part of the culture in that it is expected and accepted. It doesn't seem to carry the moral stigma and onus that we associate it with in the West. Here it seems to be a convoluted form of love expression. It is almost pandemic. Its absence is considered a lack of love here, for whatever reason. I'm sure it has to do with human resource protection of both economic and emotional concerns.

   Why a woman who is beautiful in face, figure and spirit would exhibit this trait is beyond me. But they do. I guess it has to do with mate competition, scarce economic resources, etc. Women here seem to be acutely aware of the ever-present competition that can poach their successful accomplishment of securing a high-status mate. They have few legal or social defenses and have to protect what they have. If their man goes astray, they bear the full burden of the loss and are often left in a very bad situation economically and socially.

   A long time ago an old Philippine hand told me that the older women blame the wife if her husband is stolen away. She wasn't protective enough and deserved what she got. I don't know how true this is.

  This culture and its laws are heavily rigged in favor of the males, and the women are acutely aware of it and how vulnerable it leaves them. Ipso facto.... intensive self-protection that manifests itself at time in the form of often irrational levels of jealousy when viewed from the Western society perspective where women have recourse and rights when a man strays or is unfaithful. Their fears and insecurities are real. Where ever they look, they see younger and often more attractive women and fear that their husband will fall victim to their enticements, forsaking them for another. So they are often over-protective. I see this all the time and could site numerous first-hand examples from personal experiences. A few of my friends felt smothered, and cut & ran. Others deal with it in other ways. Patience and shoring up their insecurities is a normal job here for ex-pat husbands in most cases on a regular basis.

   If your woman shows no jealousy whatsoever, you have an exceptional one..... or one who has no reason to feel jealous, no matter the circumstances. due to your proven love and dedication.....

   Then again, who knows why? But she IS the exceptional woman from what I have seen.

    My comments are limited to local women only, who have never lived abroad. Once there, they undergo changes that usually ameliorate many of their anxieties since they are quickly informed of their new legal and social rights while in their newly adopted homelands.

   Feel free to disagree or dispute anything I said, since its only one man's limited opinion.

[Ynot]

I must be  very handsome, otherwise how could you explain my gf jealousy, after all we are not married yet!!

I remember onetime when we were leaving a resort and my gf mentioned that i must of really liked the receptionist, I asked why she thought that and she just said she had a feeling I really liked the girl. I told her that I did not notice the lady, I could not describe her other than having black hair and dark eyes, so yes my girl can be jealous!  I don't know why because in my eyes my girl is stunning, I have no interest in any other, although I will admit when walking in the mall I may look but try to not make it obvious because I get the impression my girl is watching me watching them :)