Male Gays In The Filipino Family Structure

[OnMyWay]

Hope this works.  I copied Dave's text as my quoting does not work here:

"I said she is spoiling him rotten.  Thats what happens in early life in the family here."

What amazes me also is the number of really fat (obese) little boys I see here, and everyone seems to think that is great.  Our pediatrician said that is his biggest battle; convincing parents that it is not healthy to deliberately make their kids fat.

[Queenie O.]

I think that families here are pretty inclusive and accepting of gay boys and men here, and I think that is why many more young people here more openly follow their own impulses and leanings than in other countries. Not to say that there are not bullies around that would give them trouble, but for the most part homosexuality in general is not that big a curse or source of shame here among families it seems to me.

There have often been many famous male showbiz people especially comedians who are gay and have huge following, as well as many professionals and respected community members who have no problem dressing as a woman or declaring their homosexuality. Maybe that adds to the comfort level for many to more freely express their sexual tendencies.

As far as ladyboys, I think that they are often a testament to the natural good looks of many Filipino people in general. In desiring to be extra attractive in a feminine way, they can often have the ability to outshine their straight female counterparts in looks, style and sex appeal. I've seen many that really know how to skillfully present themselves in a very attractive way, because they have the natural beauty to pull it off.

 

 

 

[OnMyWay]

3 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

Anyway to add to my Comments and Thoughts on this I offer a Link (Which has been OK'd with JGF) This may help to Segregate the two and thus put an Important slant on things so we don't "Judge the Book by it's cover"

http://thoughtcatalog.com/james-hunt/2015/05/confessions-of-a-feminine-straight-guy/

Yes! The Flamboyant/Camp Men are out there in force but as I said Not all are "GAY" To Understand it we have to understand some of it and I hope this link will help.

Well, I was able to quote Jack but my last post was here too so I had to delete it.

I read that article and it was interesting, especially the comments.  I have known some guys like that and I have a friend and former roommate that is kind of like that.  A lot of people think he is gay but he is not.

However, the guys here in PH that I am talking about would probably not be in that bucket and that is a small bucket, I suspect.  The gay Filipino men I am talking about are usually extreme in their dress and mannerisms, almost ladyboys.  Tight jeans and shirts, women's shoe, nice haircuts, makeup, etc.  As mentioned, you often see them walking with women holding hands, just one of the girls.

In any case, whether it be a flamboyant gay man, a ladyboy, a man perceived as a gay, or a "metrosexual", there are some good insights from some of you on the family aspect of all of this.  That is what I was most curious about.

 

[Tukaram (Tim)]

The gays I know here are much more accepted than in most of the US.  I found that odd as they are supposedly so conservative here, and gays do not have the legal protections they have in many countries.  The Filipino culture is more of a live and let live...but they try to make every one conform too... kind an odd mix.

When I first got here 3 years ago I was introduced to my girlfriends nephew, 'this is boyboy, he is gay'.  He was  8?  Not sure who decided he was gay.  I think he is just not as "macho" as many of the guys.  Which is good.  He is now about 12 and was visiting us for a month.  The way he was looking at one of the neighbor girls - I am not sure he is as gay as they say he is.  Many Filipinos joke that you have to have a gay in every family.  It is accepted pretty well, from what I have seen.  Hard to know for sure from the outside looking in, though.  

In the Southern US you generally will not see as many openly gay, or trans, people working at the malls. Here it is very common.  No one seems to care at all.  Which is how it should be. Funny story... Last year I was with my wife and her female cousin, we were at a phone store buying a phone. The clerk was what one would call flaming gay. He had more makeup on than any of the girls there (but not a trans, no crossdressing. Just happy in makeup). When we said we were going to take pictures next week in Boracay he lights up, puts his hand on my arm and asks if I can take him too.  My wife just gives him a cross-eyed look. I laughed and said he would have to ask me when my wife was not there. In an unrelated story... why does my wife hit me so much!?

The men just act so different here though, my gaydar does not work as well in the Philippines. 

One of my jokes in the US was "I am not gay, but my boyfriend is".  I cannot use that line here... they would believe me ha ha

 

[Tukaram (Tim)]

The gays I know here are much more accepted than in most of the US.  I found that odd as they are supposedly so conservative here, and gays do not have the legal protections they have in many countries.  The Filipino culture is more of a live and let live...but they try to make every one conform too... kind an odd mix.

When I first got here 3 years ago I was introduced to my girlfriends nephew, 'this is boyboy, he is gay'.  He was  8?  Not sure who decided he was gay.  I think he is just not as "macho" as many of the guys.  Which is good.  He is now about 12 and was visiting us for a month.  The way he was looking at one of the neighbor girls - I am not sure he is as gay as they say he is.  Many Filipinos joke that you have to have a gay in every family.  It is accepted pretty well, from what I have seen.  Hard to know for sure from the outside looking in, though.  

In the Southern US you generally will not see as many openly gay, or trans, people working at the malls. Here it is very common.  No one seems to care at all.  Which is how it should be. Funny story... Last year I was with my wife and her female cousin, we were at a phone store buying a phone. The clerk was what one would call flaming gay. He had more makeup on than any of the girls there (but not a trans, no crossdressing. Just happy in makeup). When we said we were going to take pictures next week in Boracay he lights up, puts his hand on my arm and asks if I can take him too.  My wife just gives him a cross-eyed look. I laughed and said he would have to ask me when my wife was not there. In an unrelated story... why does my wife hit me so much!?

The men just act so different here though, my gaydar does not work as well in the Philippines. 

One of my jokes in the US was "I am not gay, but my boyfriend is".  I cannot use that line here... they would believe me ha ha

 

[Hey Steve]

I think the culture is interesting and dynamic regarding gay/trans genders-especially in a "Catholic conservative" nation. The country is becoming more and more accepting and as prof here... on the attached article is a first ever newly elected trans gender (congress in district of Bataan).

http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/17/asia/geraldine-roman-transgender-philippines-interview/

[MikeSwede]

There are all kind of borderline gay people who are not actually full blown same-sex-only gays.

Bisexual, trysexual, transsexual, metrosexual, homosexual. Add to that a personality of macho, modern or femi. How many blends will we come up to?

The gay guys we (us men) really see are most often the extrovert femi gay who have the hots for "straigh-acting" guys. The modern man, simply, the same type of man your SO was looking for.

Are they born gay? Probably, if they are genuin gays. Since I happen to have a good old friend who is a bisexual, straight-acting guy and who in his adult years been more interested in guys "because it is less problems", I think some could belong to his category. Guys that for one or another reason tip over to one side or the other, as time pass.

Born and raised in Stockholm, Sweden where the general audience do not really care which you are.

Edited May 23, 2016 by MikeSwede

[davewe]

I believe in the general notion that when it comes to sexuality, it's a continuum. There are people who are 100% heterosexual - never had a gay thought in their life and people who are 100% homosexual. But for most people we are somewhere in between - mostly straight, mostly gay, etc. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at the number of straight people who have had homosexual sex or long term homosexual relationships and the number of gay people who have been married, had children, etc. That's why going back to JP's questions - there's no easy answer. Very few people are 100% of anything for their entire life.

As to the Philippines, yes there is tolerance and acceptance. But I also think there is derision and contempt. My wife and her friends point out matter of factly, "he's a gay," but if you dig further there is still a certain amount of judgment and contempt in their views.

As to the notion that it's odd that there is so much open homosexuality in a "conservative" culture like the Philippines, I don't find it odd. This is a culture where people for the most part do what they want (some of which we don't like) and that is one of the definitions of conservative. Filipinos do what they want on their own land (including sing at 3AM), they piss where they want, drive the way they want. And frankly, they dress how they want, and screw whomever they want. I have no problem with it and it adds another flavor to the culture.

[mogo51]

Just a side issue, I was thinking how 'gays' persona has changed since my young days. They were badly treated and often bashed etc. These days, gays are often health addicts, go to gyms and can more than handle themselves. Here in Pattaya, they have a bad reputation for bashing elderly 'old fags' on a regular basis, then robbing them. But my point is, that most can now look after themselves and the 'fag bashers' often come off 2nd best, which is a good thing.

[Sander Martin]

First of all i dont care if a person is gay or not. Its their free will and aslong as they are happy with it, who am i to judge on how they live their life.

Im surprised on how accepted homosexuality is here tho. Isn't this supposed to be a really conservative Christian country? Fiances sister is gay and everybody is ok with it. Im glad they accept her on who she is, but at the same time it's kind of two faced. People claim to be good Christians and then cherrypick what they like about their holy book. Shes religious to.

Alot of Annes former work mates are gay and i see them posting "thank you god" on Facebook all the time.

If i was a true believer of god (im an atheist) then I couldn't see a way for homosexuality to be ok with me. Well i guess its all good in the end - atleast they aren't burning homosexuals and atheists in fires anymore ?.