I've fallen and I can't get up!

[chris49]

99% like, and that's high.

If no problem with this girl, you might marry her.

What are the chances of you, 42 yo red blooded, American male, getting attracted to someone else while you are here? It has happened befoe you know, quite frequently.

My gut feeling says go for it. And good luck.

About her not asking for money, that's good. That could also be tactical as she knows you are coming over, right?

[Reboot]

4 hours ago, chris49 said:

99% like, and that's high.

If no problem with this girl, you might marry her.

What are the chances of you, 42 yo red blooded, American male, getting attracted to someone else while you are here? It has happened befoe you know, quite frequently.

My gut feeling says go for it. And good luck.

About her not asking for money, that's good. That could also be tactical as she knows you are coming over, right?

About the money...that's always a possibility....although I am not feeling it. But it always pays to keep the eyes open and the brain in gear.

[chris49]

15 hours ago, Reboot said:

About the money...that's always a possibility....although I am not feeling it. But it always pays to keep the eyes open and the brain in gear.

Mate I have been here 11 years. I might have learned more. I got married twice, one was null and void from the day of the wedding (the girl was already legally married). I have been with some amazing women in a few different countries. And currently married to a simple provincial girl.

In the Philippines, in life itself I guess, every amazing girl I ever met comes with some caveat, some complication. If you are lucky you find out about it early. And still the heart rules over the head, we usually go ahead.

Your girl is in her 30's, no children. So fine. That in itself is highly unusual here. As I said 99% go ahead and 1% watch your back. Or 90%-10% to be a little safer.

[Sander Martin]

Id say go for it mate and meet her in real life.

I had a similar story. I was in Australia and bored. Had some flights booked to Cebu and from Manila to Japan a month later. Though to myself that might aswell talk to some Filipinas online and atleast get a "tour guide" for the month.

I could figure out alot of the girls right awey. They were : give me money or take me awey to your country. I kept going and started talking to Anne. She had amazing english, was from a good family (all 4 siblings have uni degrees/good jobs), had a high paying job (By Filipino standard) and she was just so easy to talk to. We talked for about 3 months, everyday - hours at a time (she worked night shift and i was bored as ?????? at work). Ended up meeting her in Cebu and stayed with her for that month. Went to Japan and then came back to do a 2 week detour in Cebu, just to spend time with her. Visited her again for two months 7weeks later. She came to see me in Australia for three months and now we are engaged to be married and have a 3 month old boy. Been 2 years since we first met in Cebu Airport and i still love every single day that i spend with her.

[MikeSwede]

I can only tell you that I, like you, felt strongly for the girl I had met online and decided she would be the first I met as I arrived to Phils. She had been upfront open about her life, family and so on, over the time we had been bonding online; I never felt I needed to pull info from her or that something did not square. More or less, she felt like someone I would have wanted to date where ever we had met. We have a similar age span as you as well.

As I arrived, I went straight over to her, for a coffee out.

... I am still here, one year later... (Not at the café )

Go for it, keep in touch with the forum, and you will do just fine.

Btw - do not offer financial help or support of any kind to anyone here, in a way you would not normally do anywhere else. I say this only to help you sort out your true "friends" , while you are still a "beginner" of the pinoy social life.

[Reboot]

Thank you all kindly for the good advice. I will continue talking to her for now...like I said, the soonest I think I can go is September. I was looking to vacation somewhere outside the US anyway, so even if it doesn't work out as a relationship, at least I had a new experience somewhere I have never been, with pleasant feminine companionship. So the way I see it, it's a win/win scenario even if she isn't the "right girl." 

[expatuk2014]

met my wife on the net in 2001 she was a gov employee, we chatted online and sent each other photos etc.

And like you I knew she was the one ! got a bit worried though as one of the photos showed her looking at a rack of dresses !

seriously her sister took the photo for a laugh !

I proposed shortly after and I flew out from the UK to marry her ! we lived in the UK for 9yrs and retired here in 2011 .

she treats me like a king ! I am not rich I just have my pensions and she has hers which we combine.

yes there are those who have met and married Filipina woman and it has not worked out for many reasons.

it has been mentioned about her large family , my wifes family is the same when we met  she had a Mother -a sister-and 5 brothers all working with good jobs

sadly the older brother and the younger brother and the Mother have passed on, then there are the nieces and nephews ! all 15 of them and their children !

not one of them has asked for money ! 

all I can say is follow your heart. and I wish you the best of luck

[davewe]

Like many others I had a similar experience to you. Took us almost a year before we met in person. I used to say (and still do if pressed) that I don't think it's a good idea to fall in love with a girl online whom you haven't met but the truth be told is I basically did and was pretty sure that Janet would be the one.

So meet her and see if what your heart tells you is true. And of course let us know what happens! Good luck!

[Hey Steve]

That's also the way I met my (now wife). It turned out better than I imagined.

 I always believe in trust but verify though when it comes to the most important matters. By this, I mean verify she was never married. It's a good idea to request a CENOMAR (certificate of no marriage) be mailed to you from the NSO in the Philippines (go to e-census and follow instructions on how to obtain one). They mail it to you which you take on your trip as proof you made an honest attempt to reach out and verify her status if legal trouble surfaces while you are there (jail time is possible for both you and her-concubinage-I believe would be the charge- if a spouse unknown to you from the past wishes to press charges-as this is a strict law in the Family code of the Philippines). Just something to be aware of-then you truly can breathe easy.

[ozepete]

Mate, don't stuff around, get on the plane and go spend some time with her. This could be the best thing you ever do so just do it.

You will most likely end up grinning like a rat with a gold tooth or simply starting the search again.

Either way life is too short, go get her, she sounds like a beauty.

 

Good luck