I've fallen and I can't get up!

[Gratefuled]

"Everything I have seen about this girl s great. My question is this: Is it crazy to fall in love with someone you've never met in person? Because honestly I feel a little foolish about it...but she seems like exactly the sort of good loving woman I would like to be with."

Yes, it is very very foolish to fall in love with someone you never met. It is even more foolish to marry that someone without knowing if the feeling is mutual. There are "gold diggers" in the Philippines just as there are anywhere else. You don't want to make the same mistake twice.  ( My opinion)

 

[mogo51]

How are things progressing for you.  You have had some very sound advice here and I hope you give it a lot of thought.

As I said in a previous post, I met my SO under very similar circumstances, but I still took over 12 months before I made the final move to form the relationship.  Remember, there is no hurry, let things evolve gradually.

[Reboot]

Gents..since you are so curious about my affairs I'll fill you in a nbit.

My divorce closed out this week. It was 21 years of marriage just a couple of months ago. She filed at the end of March and the thing is done. I fought against it for a couple of weeks in April but she was adamant. Once I found out some details about what happened when she went on a cruise with girlfriends in March, I decided to let it go. 

There are still some loose ends left like selling our house, but that will fall into place in time. If not I will figure something else out.

By the way, if you want a modern 4 bedroom home with a big pool and 2.5 acres in Florida (close to beaches too), please let me know. I need to sell.

The divorce went fast. My life sometimes does. I married my ex fast too. I tied the knot 5 months after I met her. 

It worked OK for a long time, that marriage, but she gradually changed. She started life as a traditional Venezuelan woman (and a beautiful one at that), but eventually turned into a typical American one...hence the divorce.

She waited until I landed a big bonus in March and was earning six figures her own to do her work on ending  our marriage. I find it hard to believe that the timing was a coincidence. But it didn't work out so good for her I think. I got the best lawyer in town, he demolished hers, and my 50% of assets is secure...in fact she owes me tens of thousands of $ at this point. Plus my child support payments are very moderate. I did not get financially raped.

She's off to celebrate her wonderful new single life and will be gone to Europe for a couple of weeks starting this weekend. We were going to take the kids and spend a month over there this year...that was what I told her in January.

But she's off on her own now. LOL.

I told her not to worry about a thing, I will take care of the kids while she is gone, I hope she has a good time, stay as long as she likes (she originally asked for a month off from work), and that when she gets back, I will go ahead and firm up my own travel plans...likely at the end of September but I will let her know for sure after she returns.

"Where are you going?" She said yesterday morning via email.

I sent her a high res GoPro video of El Nido off youtube...beautiful place...and I think she flipped out a little bit.

"Oh my God...Really?"

It seems she was expecting I would pine away and succumb to misery once the precious left.

In the meantime, I have banged girfriends of hers, and others...at this point I've enjoyed myself in more than one country...haha. And to think what a good boy I was for two decades. 

When I got on FC, I was inundated with interest. I narrowed it down to this girl and another a real beauty from General Santos that wouldn't give up even if I ignored her for several days. Part Spanish and Chinese...very sexy and she knows how to push my buttons... But I have a less than 100% warm and fuzzy feeling about GenSan girl.....its a gut thing.

I really like this Surigao del Sur girl. At this point, I talk to her about 2 hours a day via skype. She owns an internet cafe, so she's always connected and available. Last face I see when I go to sleep, first face I see when I wake up.

This girl is not a gold digger in my opinion. She's even going to fly herself to meet me on her own dime.  And she's like a breath of fresh air compared to American women. I get no red flags on that score. However I do get the worst red flag of all. She wants more than my money...I think she wants all of me for good.

Anyway, I am not so bold as to marry without at least several months of physical proximity and contact.

Edited July 22, 2016 by Reboot

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, Reboot said:

It worked OK for a long time, that marriage, but she gradually changed. She started life as a traditional Venezuelan woman (and a beautiful one at that), but eventually turned into a typical American one...hence the divorce.

This!

It describes the majority of women (who I know) who marry men and live with them a long time.  It applies to filipinas too.  I started my current relationship with a beautiful 18 year old filipina who had stars in her eyes because she had a foreign boyfriend.  3 years later I have a foreign girl trapped in a filipina body.  I expected that would happen.  Sounds like you know that will happen too.

So good of you to share your story, its great to get to know the other members in a meaningful way.  Sincerely, best of luck with your new gf.  It sounds like you have your head on right so even if it does not work out you know there are other choices.

[not so old china hand]

12 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

It describes the majority of women (who I know) who marry men and live with them a long time.  It applies to filipinas too.

I forget who said "Women marry men thinking they will change. And men marry women thinking they won't change. Both are disappointed."

[Reboot]

Makes me wonder if age matters. My ex was just 19 when we married. I could see someone changing a lot from such a young age. This Phil girl is 33...maybe less likely to change because she is older? 

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 minute ago, Reboot said:

 This Phil girl is 33...maybe less likely to change because she is older? 

Lets ask Jack on that one 

[robert k]

1 minute ago, Reboot said:

Makes me wonder if age matters. My ex was just 19 when we married. I could see someone changing a lot from such a young age. This Phil girl is 33...maybe less likely to change because she is older? 

Anyone will change over time but I expect the change would be less radical with someone over 50. Up to that point I think there is still lots of room for change.

[Jack Peterson]

4 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Lets ask Jack on that one 

 

3 minutes ago, robert k said:

Anyone will change over time but I expect the change would be less radical with someone over 50. Up to that point I think there is still lots of room for change.

 Not sure about over 50 but up till can be Mind Boggling for anyone of a nervous didposistion, Mine did a whole Life of Changes in the last 10+ years, Now at 50 she is as hard Headed as her Mother and our 17 year old has now joined the Lets hate the men Club too. 33 can be just as bad an age for change as 18/19 or 20 and they are clever enough to disguise it. BUT Don't we just LUV EM Eh? I Honestly don't see My 2 changing Much in My Lifetime, A good Friend said to me only Last week or so ago, You have 2 Wives in some Contexts. (I never stood a Chance) They all Change and hopefully those reading this Topic can be guided a Little to expect to live with a Lady that is so Different from the one he First met But is this not the case all over the World? Must be or we would all still be on Wife Number 1 

 Jack

 Morning All  ( late Start today)

 

 Having said all that, we are a happy Family & Wouldn't be without them  

[Reboot]

I guess the only way to win the game is not to play!