Planning for Assisted Care

[JJReyes]

6 hours ago, bows00 said:

A jeepney?  Ouch, that might hurt.  I would prefer a brain aneurysm in my sleep. 

The American expression is, "Hit by a bus." -- meaning the elderly person died suddenly rather than after a lingering illness. A jeepney will do the same thing.

[frosty (chris)]

2 hours ago, mogo51 said:

There is good and bad caregivers all over the world, whether Filipinos are any worse would be debatable.  Same stories in Australia.  My mother has Alzimers and has been in a nursing home for 30 plus years!  Whilst it is not ideal, it is the best option available.

 

My Dad eventually died of old age (94) and gradually worsening Alzheimr's and I had to put him in a nursing home which was staffed with some Filipina's. My Dad was a cranky old ba$tard at times and I didn't envy those nurses at all, but when I went to visit all the girls told me how much of a darling the old skin flint was, see what a pretty nurse can do to any man. He was a WW2 vet and had to pay most of his pension to stay there, which was a brand near close to the beach, resort style complex.

Me I have an appointment with Dr. Jack Daniels, Mrs Pills and my old friend Dr Fags, we are going to find a  quiet beach and follow the sun over the horizon.

[Dave Hounddriver]

10 hours ago, mark ocallaghan said:

she will most likely swindle you as well. love is lost on the older man when he is decrepid and of no use to her

I have been pleasantly surprised to observe that many older expat men, who marry young filipinas, are well taken care of right up to the moment of their death and beyond (through the interment process I mean).

One of the endearing qualities of Philippine culture is the nurturing aspect.  A woman may fight with you like a cat fights with a dog when you are healthy and married to her, and yet, if you get sick she will take to the the roll of caregiver quite naturally.

Its only the guys who are single, or in a bad relationship, or in a relationship with a lady who is also old and sick, who will have the difficulties this thread is about. (keep in mind this is my opinion only and not meant to judge anyone who is in any of those situations.)

 

[mogo51]

Frosty, my Mum is the same age.  In the 30 plus years she has been in Nursing Home, she has been in 2 facilities.  When we move her from Hervey Bay to Tweed Heads, all the staff lined up out the front and some were crying, they all loved her.

Same where she is now, she is a cranky old bugger but the staff still love her.  Don't knw what I am doing wrong, I am just as much a cranky old bugger and everyone hates me!!!!

[mark ocallaghan]

11 hours ago, JJReyes said:

The American expression is, "Hit by a bus." -- meaning the elderly person died suddenly rather than after a lingering illness. A jeepney will do the same thing.

 

11 hours ago, JJReyes said:

The American expression is, "Hit by a bus." -- meaning the elderly person died suddenly rather than after a lingering illness. A jeepney will do the same thing.

i hope i get hit by a big bus rather than die of stomach cancer like my mother did at 83yo.

[mark ocallaghan]

8 hours ago, frosty (chris) said:

My Dad eventually died of old age (94) and gradually worsening Alzheimr's and I had to put him in a nursing home which was staffed with some Filipina's. My Dad was a cranky old ba$tard at times and I didn't envy those nurses at all, but when I went to visit all the girls told me how much of a darling the old skin flint was, see what a pretty nurse can do to any man. He was a WW2 vet and had to pay most of his pension to stay there, which was a brand near close to the beach, resort style complex.

Me I have an appointment with Dr. Jack Daniels, Mrs Pills and my old friend Dr Fags, we are going to find a  quiet beach and follow the sun over the horizon.

yes, i am of the same mind set. i believe in quality of life rather than longjevity. mind you, will i have the courage to do myself in when the going gets too hard. i will probably tough it out untill the end. my dad died in a nice way, 74yo, heart attack on a lane 40,000 ft up and on his way to see a ozy rules football match in canada, flying from perth. he had a nap and never woke up.

[mark ocallaghan]

7 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I have been pleasantly surprised to observe that many older expat men, who marry young filipinas, are well taken care of right up to the moment of their death and beyond (through the interment process I mean).

One of the endearing qualities of Philippine culture is the nurturing aspect.  A woman may fight with you like a cat fights with a dog when you are healthy and married to her, and yet, if you get sick she will take to the the roll of caregiver quite naturally.

Its only the guys who are single, or in a bad relationship, or in a relationship with a lady who is also old and sick, who will have the difficulties this thread is about. (keep in mind this is my opinion only and not meant to judge anyone who is in any of those situations.)

 

philippines may be the place for me as i am getting on. its not too bad being single when young but pretty awful when old and ill. ukrainian women mostly leave you if you get sick. lol.

[frosty (chris)]

4 hours ago, mogo51 said:

Frosty, my Mum is the same age.  In the 30 plus years she has been in Nursing Home, she has been in 2 facilities.  When we move her from Hervey Bay to Tweed Heads, all the staff lined up out the front and some were crying, they all loved her.

Same where she is now, she is a cranky old bugger but the staff still love her.  Don't knw what I am doing wrong, I am just as much a cranky old bugger and everyone hates me!!!!

I can understand, me same same but different

[frosty (chris)]

1 hour ago, mark ocallaghan said:

yes, i am of the same mind set. i believe in quality of life rather than longjevity. mind you, will i have the courage to do myself in when the going gets too hard. i will probably tough it out untill the end. my dad died in a nice way, 74yo, heart attack on a lane 40,000 ft up and on his way to see a ozy rules football match in canada, flying from perth. he had a nap and never woke up.

Sorry about your Dad but if there is a good way to go sounds ok to me. I will always have etched in my memory seeing my Dad going from a very strong willed individual to something close to a baby, wasn't good to see, so my plan if I indeed have the courage is taking the looser's way out, pi$$ed, pilled and smoked, won't need a cremation so will save money and still have a little dignity left

Edited July 8, 2016 by frosty (chris)

[mogo51]

Unfortunately we rarely get a say in it when the time comes.  Yes Frosty, quality of life is the key but they won't even allow us to choose that in most countries, when the time comes,

I saw my Dad die after a week in hospital and it was not nice, struggling and gasping for air poor b...rd but he had a good life.  Mum, has no idea who or where she is, what day it is etc. has been in advanced Alzimers for more than 20 years - that is not for me, if I can work out how to do it or indeed have the capacity.

When is that situation, I am not sure it is the 'cowards' way but dignity and self choice is more appropriate.