Filipina Girlfriend?

[Domino22]

5 hours ago, davewe said:

Good luck with this

I am guessing that there are plenty of expats, maybe even a few here, who started out with the "I'm not getting married" mantra, who are now happily wearing a ring. Filipinas can be very compelling!

I am equally sure that there are many expats living with a Filipina, but not legally married, but the girl tells everyone "he's my husband." 

Managing financial expectations is a different issue, but having the girl, her family and friends agree that you are just casually dating - that ain't happening.

Well I walked into that one! Yes I have read many posts about this issue but was hoping for a glimmer of hope. No not a sexpat, I am told old and tired but if I was I would go to Angeles. A guy I did business with for twenty years married a lady from Cebu and I have met her several times. They would split  the year living in Cebu and the states. The last time I talked to him before he died they were living in Texas and would only go to Cebu for a few weeks each year to visit. I asked him why and his response was "I just got tired of people asking me for money all the time". I assume this was mostly family asking and the normal people who just beg for a living. Some say "helping with family needs etc" but I have never seen a dollar amount mentioned and I understand these numbers would vary. When you tell people no that can create a issue and it would be something I would like to avoid. But as I said in the post I do not want to support a whole "klan". I also have read the three island or three hour rule but that still may slow it down but not stop it. If I could teach a German Shepard to ride on a motorcycle that would be my best #1 friend option.

[Gratefuled]

6 hours ago, davewe said:

Agree, but 1st they're all gonna have to weigh your pot 

"they're all" gonna have to guess.

[Gratefuled]

23 hours ago, Domino22 said:

If you just want to date a girl a few times a week or so when does her relatives come after you for money? As a BF&GF is this an issue? I know as a gringo/farang this will always be an issue, but when you are brought into the family I see a problem. Now just dating where do you stand? I know marriage is a whole different thing so do not go there. That will not happen. I just would like some insight how this works? I also understand that I am a walking "Bank" in the PI per the local mind set but I am not going to retire there and support a family of 400! But would like to meet a dinner partner-travel friend and a little you know friend with benefits.

In other words, you want your cake and want to eat it too.( no pun intended) No commitment. You want someone to be at your disposal for anything you want. So, I'm sure there are some available. Some may even already have a small family from other casual dates. Just let her know in advance that you and her are just casually dating. Once you get tired of her, just dump her. There are plenty of others around to play with. You are what some would call a "sex tourist". It's not a bad thing but just be careful with your health and your money. 

 

[Domino22]

10 hours ago, Gratefuled said:

If you have any balls at all you would not make it an issue. You should feel free to deal with relatives as you see fit and not under pressure to buy their friendship. If you allow the girl to dictate how you spend your money then back to my first sentence. 

Remember THE GOLDEN RULE

Whoever has the GOLD makes the RULES.

I like that thought. Well the balls are huge here right now I shut people down all the time. But when I retire my a-hole self should be left behind. I am tired of fighting in business and working the money. To me "RETIRE" means I do what I want to do when and if I want to do it or let it go to another day. Also I saw someone say every day is Saturday when you retire and I want to have that feeling.

 

[scott h]

1 hour ago, Domino22 said:

"I just got tired of people asking me for money all the time

Domino, I see where you are driving with this, and with my thinking cap on, let me give you a scenario and possible solution for you.

Lets assume that you are wandering in the mall and a lady attracts your eye. You ask her for coffee or lunch or what ever. If she accepts, and during your "get to know you" conversation, find out: Her educational level, the more education the better off her family is. Number of brothers and sisters? What do they do? Is she the oldest or youngest. Where are they located? If she is in town working and sending money to the family etc. What I am driving at is the larger the family the more children (and their spouses or BF in your case) are expected to contribute, the older she is she is expected to help the younger siblings. If she is the 2nd of 10 kids who live in the province, who's father is unemployed, mother is sick, grandma live with them and all 9 kids are in school....................run.

Is this a mercenary attitude? Yup, but in a lot of ways this is a mercenary country.

[Domino22]

Dang Scott H. All dates seem to be interviews but your thoughts are spot on with what I may never be able to avoid. Hate to be played but have been around a little and I "think" my mind set going in may be my down fall. If at some point I need help health wise a yay yay may be needed. But that brings into play another set of issues.

 

[scott h]

22 minutes ago, Domino22 said:

. All dates seem to be interviews

If you think about it, isn't that what they are? Ages:

12-16, will she let me hold her hand

16-18, can I get to second base?

18-25, will she come up and see my etchings?

25 on up, do I really want to go into the bath room after she has used it for the rest of my life?

 

[Jack Peterson]

26 minutes ago, Domino22 said:

All dates seem to be interviews

 You may be surprised at how the provincial thing is set up, "Chaperones" are common, many would say that families and friends just say have a good time Not so all the time. As we have heard, younger ladies go about in Groups, believe me while you are talking and watching, you also will be watched. Beware the family, especially the brothers and Cousins (Male) A Foreigner smells of Money, Unfortunate but true

[robert k]

You might not want to write off Angeles. Not every foreigner who lives there is a sexpat. From what I have heard the infrastructure is fair and I think things are a little more relaxed there compared to the province where you and a lady will never be alone until you are married, at least not if her family can help it and presuming she has any prospects at all.

[Jack Peterson]

14 minutes ago, robert k said:

 

You might not want to write off Angeles. Not every foreigner who lives there is a sexpat.

 

You Know Robert, from a conversation that HTMBO had with a guy here not long ago about his escapades of recent times I am Forbidden to go there but For me, I take on Board you Post. So tell me, why does "Angeles" always seem come up when it comes to Fun times, is it a left over from years gone bye? When I was Stationed in HK that was our R&R Destination. Problem is that some places never seem to loose the Bad reports and actionable scenarios.

Mention "Angeles' in Dumaguete and it is OH Yeah! we know  with Big Frowns and Lip pursing from our Ladies.