Filipina Girlfriend?

[Old55]

On August 14, 2016 at 2:47 PM, Domino22 said:

 

A lot of different thoughts here.Thank You. I hope I have some fun trying to figure this all out when I arrive. The good thing is I am one of those people who likes my time alone and the freedom that comes with that. But the options I will have there need to be explored. And those options look pretty good.

You do bring up a point, you value private time alone. Philippines in general and most Filipino's would not allow you this. It would seem very unlikely you could have a close friendship with Filipinos or a lasting romantic relationship with a Filipina and expect alone time for long. 

There are times I really require uninterupted time alone. My wife has come to understand accept an provide that for me. It's not in her nature to be alone in fact most Filipinos hate to be alone 

[Gator]

5 hours ago, Old55 said:

You do bring up a point, you value private time alone. Philippines in general and most Filipino's would not allow you this. It would seem very unlikely you could have a close friendship with Filipinos or a lasting romantic relationship with a Filipina and expect alone time for long. 

There are times I really require uninterupted time alone. My wife has come to understand accept an provide that for me. It's not in her nature to be alone in fact most Filipinos hate to be alone 

In addition, most can't even comprehend why you would want to be alone in the first place. 

And the jealous ones (which comprise the majority) will suspect you want to be "alone" so you can see other girls, lol. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by Gator

[Sander Martin]

On 11 August 2016 at 2:31 AM, scott h said:

Domino, I see where you are driving with this, and with my thinking cap on, let me give you a scenario and possible solution for you.

Lets assume that you are wandering in the mall and a lady attracts your eye. You ask her for coffee or lunch or what ever. If she accepts, and during your "get to know you" conversation, find out: Her educational level, the more education the better off her family is. Number of brothers and sisters? What do they do? Is she the oldest or youngest. Where are they located? If she is in town working and sending money to the family etc. What I am driving at is the larger the family the more children (and their spouses or BF in your case) are expected to contribute, the older she is she is expected to help the younger siblings. If she is the 2nd of 10 kids who live in the province, who's father is unemployed, mother is sick, grandma live with them and all 9 kids are in school....................run.

Is this a mercenary attitude? Yup, but in a lot of ways this is a mercenary country.

Totally agree with what Scott says.

Also learnto be firm with your decisions and dont let the scavangers (if there will be any) take you for a ride. Say no if you dont want to borrow money etc and dont pay the restaurant bill when you werent the one inviting people. Most the scavangers are just testing you out. If they can get something once, they will come back for more - just like the mob.

I have been very lucky. Anne or any of her family haven't asked anything from me. When we go out to eat, then its the person inviting thats going to pay the bill (sometimes we chip in). Never have i been given a restaurant bill and asked money to pay for it (unless i off course invited the people for a meal). Shes well educated (like most of the family) and everyone has a proper job. She was doing very well work vise before she meet me and had a nice savings account. Whenever we go out to eat or buy stuff for our son etc, then sometimes i pay and sometimes she pays. Has been like that from day one and that was one of the reasons i liked her alot very fast.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

2 hours ago, Gator said:

In addition, most can't even comprehend why you would want to be alone in the first place. 

And the jealous ones (which comprise the majority) will suspect you want to be "alone" so you can see other girls, lol. 

 

That is one thing I really appreciate about my wife. We both like our alone time (she likes to nap with her alone time). She also is not very jealous. Maybe she is not really Filipino?  

[MacBubba]

9 hours ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

That is one thing I really appreciate about my wife. We both like our alone time (she likes to nap with her alone time). She also is not very jealous. Maybe she is not really Filipino?  

Pardon the pun, but she's not alone ...in liking alone time and not being jealous. 

I don't let my wife nap alone, because I like to join her, but she also likes to exercise, so I tell her that she's on her own.

Kidding aside, although we generally keep in close proximity (car and home), we do not get in each other's way. 

We don't have issues spending time apart, and jealousy does not rear its head.

 

 

 

[Methersgate]

One old fashioned term that one hears is "suitor".

Of course the old meaning of the term was that a girl stayed at home with her parents and various young men tried their luck, classically with a guitar under her window. This is what my father in law did to gain the affections of my mother in law, but that was fifty years ago. Today a girl uses it to mean that she has several males "in tow" at the same time, and feels herself free to choose between them. A bar girl may describe the foreigners who send her cash by Western Union as her "suitors".

A nice girl may well go out in a "barkada" of other girls and boys. This is more usual than "dating" where a single boy and girl go out together.

K is very clear that I am not to give money to anyone in her family unless, exceptionally, she approves. I can recall  one such "approved" disbursement, of six thousand pesos, for false teeth, in five years.  Other than that it is Christmas and birthday presents for her parents, as her brothers and sisters "are strong, and can work". 

 

 

Edited August 22, 2016 by Methersgate

[Tukaram (Tim)]

2 hours ago, Methersgate said:

One old fashioned term that one hears is "suitor".

 

Well when locals ask my status my usual answer is "I have a wife...but don't have a girlfriend yet".