Trouble free break ups.

[RBM]

Being here a while my observations would be where there happens to be property involved the break up would be very bitter, especially involving an ex pat whom has invested heavily. More so than a break up abroad for obvious reasons

Not so when just an ex pat or locals split, been here many times,  and apart from tears  no huge dramas. Should add here no promises were made also. Know of many locals whom have broken relationships, not really much difference from back home.

What we must understand we can be seen as the ATM by the family even if not by the girl, this can....does put undue pressure on tne GF.

 

 

[robert k]

2 hours ago, RBM said:

 

What we must understand we can be seen as the ATM by the family even if not by the girl, this can....does put undue pressure on tne GF.

 

 

Yes it does. I drew the line when the family diverted my GF's sons private school tuition and decided that the way to handle it was to tell me the tuition double for the next month. It's not like they couldn't have asked me for the money, they weren't shy about it before.

What did they spend the money on? They had visitors from out of town and they had a party. I think GF was ok, MIL was the problem. Nothing for me to do but leave them to it.

[chris49]

2 hours ago, robert k said:

Yes it does. I drew the line when the family diverted my GF's sons private school tuition and decided that the way to handle it was to tell me the tuition double for the next month. It's not like they couldn't have asked me for the money, they weren't shy about it before.

What did they spend the money on? They had visitors from out of town and they had a party. I think GF was ok, MIL was the problem. Nothing for me to do but leave them to it.

Mother in Law's can be a big problem.

My previous MIL or surrogate was reasonable but her daughter was a BXXXX.

My current MIL, probably menopausal, is moody. And she displays her moods when she doesn't get what she wants. Gina is cool ignores her. But MIL says she's "not paid for my services" discounting free food, free electricity, free everything down to a tube of toothpaste.

I reckon it's the duty of the wife to buffer that and set limits.

But when they start consistently niggling for money it can strain your relationship.

[pjclark1]

Being an expat has a few advantages, the main one being I don't own anything I can't carry with me.

Any problems and I'm gone, different town or different country, no forwarding address.

 

I don't share my Facebook page with women to whom I'm not related, and I never introduce random women or gfs to my real friends.

If they can't find you and can't contact you, it isn't that big a problem.

[davewe]

I have to say that I never had one of those silky smooth breaks ups in the US. OK, come to think of it, it was fairly smooth: I gave her the house and took care of the kids most of the time so she could pursue other options  Easy peasy lol.

In the Philippines my ex gf made the breakup smooth as glass; she simply married another foreigner without telling me  . I found out by seeing the wedding pics on FB. "I guess this means we're breaking up," I said when I finally got ahold of her. She actually had the balls to tell me that she would love me always but she felt she had to marry him, since he was terminally ill Turns out the guy made a miraculous recovery and they're still married.

But in point of fact, it did make it an easy breakup.

 

Edited October 4, 2016 by davewe

[Snowy79]

2 hours ago, davewe said:

I have to say that I never had one of those silky smooth breaks ups in the US. OK, come to think of it, it was fairly smooth: I gave her the house and took care of the kids most of the time so she could pursue other options  Easy peasy lol.

In the Philippines my ex gf made the breakup smooth as glass; she simply married another foreigner without telling me  . I found out by seeing the wedding pics on FB. "I guess this means we're breaking up," I said when I finally got ahold of her. She actually had the balls to tell me that she would love me always but she felt she had to marry him, since he was terminally ill Turns out the guy made a miraculous recovery and they're still married.

But in point of fact, it did make it an easy breakup.

 

I must admit it does seam to be a common trait where the person you think is your girlfriend just happens to let slip the other boyfriend who she really loves. The last one I had the drama with even had the cheek to tell me about her boyfriend that she was madly in love with two days after I'd first slept with her. She even tried to justify it by saying he lives i Germany and she wont be joining him until she sorts her visa out. She was soon kicked into touch. I've met a few since that openly told me about their distant boyfriends while at the same time making it obvious they'd jump into bed at the first opportunity.

Having taken time to suss out the nature of a few relationships I've come to the conclusion that the majority of girls I meet love the security of a foreigner as far as food and shelter go but can separate out love and sex. Probably in the same way as men do. They probably have more in common with men than western women do. 

My current partner is completely different. Her whole attitude to problems and her level of intelligence sticks out a mile from the other girls I've met. She's 47yrs old, no kids and a good job. She was even tracked down by an ex over here and given grief for liking me. Rather than being jealous she asked me some pretty up front questions. Knowing full well the ex had been in touch I'd be stupid to deny anything so told her everything. Even down to the last time I'd slept with my ex. Sure enough she'd already been told and even sent photos of me in bed with my ex. Nothing dodgy but it was obvious we had nothing on under the covers. 

I offered to contact my ex and tell her to back off but she just said " what happened before is history, we have a new start as of now and she trusts me for being honest." She did warn me that one indiscretion and it will be over between us and she will move on in life. She said she wouldn't lower herself to the level of my ex by causing trouble. It was like a breath of fresh air. No jealousy or mad tantrums. She pointed out that the reason younger girls take it so hard is due to the fact that foreigners spoil them. In her circle of friends she said it is only the wealthier Filipinos that treat their women to gifts and luxuries. The young girls are attracted to that and will hold onto it for all its worth. Fingers crossed this relationship will work as I wont give her reasons to doubt me.