Family Involvement In Relationships

[Bruce]

A lot has to do with one's upbringing and emotional needs. If he came from a large close 'intrusive' family, then being welcomed into her family might seem normal to him. Think The Waltons. If he came from a more WASPy detached family, then he may be overwhelmed by all the attention and view the family as crossing boundaries and into 'leech' territory. Think All In The Family. (US tv shows 1970s)

Lets wait for the update to see if he is put off the Philippines, or becomes enamored with the possibilities.  

[Snowy79]

I'd look at it more as to how the girl is going to react long term. At his age he's unlikely to come and live in the Philippines which means she'll have to join him and ultimately marriage. I'd be concerned that as she's meant to be quite sheltered from the world and no doubt from a very close family. How will she react to living in Sweden thousands of miles from the family in a country that's pretty cold for a lot of months of the year? 

Certain parts of the male anatomy can make you immune to family interference for a short period of time but long term I'd be heading for the hills. 

[Methersgate]

Phew!

I had it easy - I had lived in the Philippines and had been married for 14 years to my ex, a Filipina, before I met K, who already had an English BIL, but even so it was two years and five visits before I met her parents. 

Her parents are delightful and we both agree about her favourite sister, so there have been no problems.

I think that in this case things are being taken far, far too fast. But I could be wrong...

 

[OnMyWay]

I have not had a detailed update of any kind, but my wife said she might go visit him in Europe for Christmas.  I don't know how hard it will be for her to get a visa.

[Snowy79]

9 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

I have not had a detailed update of any kind, but my wife said she might go visit him in Europe for Christmas.  I don't know how hard it will be for her to get a visa.

I'm not 100% on this as nothing surprises me about the Philippines and there's always exceptions but from my understanding to get a visa it's more about what would bring you back to the Philippines than get you out of it. My current partner has a good job with the PNB and when questioning her about visas she explained they really only give them out to Filipinos when visiting Europe if they have a good reason to return to the Philippines. Examples she gave was having a certain amount of money in a bank account, owning a business or decent home. Having children at home wasn't one of them. She has friends in immigration so I'd think she's up on it. I asked her as she told me one day she would like to see Europe once she had a good enough reason for immigration. A boyfriend or fiance could be a burden as immigration think they'll get married on the quiet when in Europe unless they expressly ask for a fiance visa.

[OnMyWay]

4 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

I'm not 100% on this as nothing surprises me about the Philippines and there's always exceptions but from my understanding to get a visa it's more about what would bring you back to the Philippines than get you out of it. My current partner has a good job with the PNB and when questioning her about visas she explained they really only give them out to Filipinos when visiting Europe if they have a good reason to return to the Philippines. Examples she gave was having a certain amount of money in a bank account, owning a business or decent home. Having children at home wasn't one of them. She has friends in immigration so I'd think she's up on it. I asked her as she told me one day she would like to see Europe once she had a good enough reason for immigration. A boyfriend or fiance could be a burden as immigration think they'll get married on the quiet when in Europe unless they expressly ask for a fiance visa.

Yes, I know she would have a tough time getting a visa to the U.S. but I don't know anything about EU / Sweden / Denmark.  Maybe they are thinking about a fiance visa but I don't know.

[Jack Peterson]

21 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

A boyfriend or fiance could be a burden as immigration think they'll get married on the quiet when in Europe unless they expressly ask for a fiance visa.

 Getting a visa for tourist to the EU is like finding Rocking Horse S...t and if marriage is in the Equation then much is put in your way financially. maybe the OP will Remember Our Friend Methersgate and the Problem & cost he Had to get a Visa for "K" let alone the Son. There is No Spousal Visa as such as with the US and each Visa application has it's own means test. Us married men have just about NO chance of getting our Wives into the UK and or Europe with out an awful lot of Hoops to jump through.

 BTW even if anyone does get married on the "Quiet" It still will not give the spouse the right to Stay beyond the Visa validity date but maybe Andrew (methersgate) can fill in here please mate if you are looking at this.

I believe he was the last one to get married while his GF was in the UK & I believe, most if not all the EU countries, apply the same or very similar Rules.

As we always say here, YMMV. Be lucky, be happy and Good Luck to all that go this route.

[stevewool]

Wow, i was so lucky in a way.

I flew into Manila and this was my first trip ever by myself and as i went through immigration expecting Emma to be waiting , there was no one there so i went up to the desk and ask "where do i go to find the people waiting for me", name please, "Woolley", down the ramp and under W .

Bloody hell i thought she had not turned up, but down the ramp and she was there.

There was no escort with her, but there was a problem later on in the weeks that followed, i had booked a trip to Boracay for 2 weeks and as long as Emma rang daily to say she was fine the family was ok ,

The day we landed in Boracay she dropped hr phone and broke it, it as not until we got back to the family after our holiday they said they was contacting the police because they thought i had kidnapped her

[Gratefuled]

On 11/7/2016 at 8:11 AM, Queenie O. said:

Time will tell I guess. Hopefully he won't be overwhelmed by the family, but that's his call. Let's hope the gal's lack of experience with men/boyfriends won't lead her to any rash decisions.

I think that both are old enough to decide for themselves what they want in a mate. Not everyone is perfect for one another. There are always differences that can be adjusted to or else don't commit.

I don't do Facebook at all. I leave that to the females in our family tree and the younger generation.

 

[Methersgate]

12 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

 Getting a visa for tourist to the EU is like finding Rocking Horse S...t and if marriage is in the Equation then much is put in your way financially. maybe the OP will Remember Our Friend Methersgate and the Problem & cost he Had to get a Visa for "K" let alone the Son. There is No Spousal Visa as such as with the US and each Visa application has it's own means test. Us married men have just about NO chance of getting our Wives into the UK and or Europe with out an awful lot of Hoops to jump through.

 BTW even if anyone does get married on the "Quiet" It still will not give the spouse the right to Stay beyond the Visa validity date but maybe Andrew (methersgate) can fill in here please mate if you are looking at this.

I believe he was the last one to get married while his GF was in the UK & I believe, most if not all the EU countries, apply the same or very similar Rules.

As we always say here, YMMV. Be lucky, be happy and Good Luck to all that go this route.

Thanks. Yes, I can comment on the UK and I think other European countries are very similar.

Jack is quite right - you cannot marry on a visit visa and stay here - in fact you will be deported very smartly...

K and The Stepsprog came here on a Marriage Settlement Visa (K) and a Visa To Accompany Parent (the Stepsprog). This is the Full Box and Dice - the fee is huge and there is a language test, TB test, proof of earnings,etc.

It was valid for six months and at the end of that time we had yet  more bureaucracy and an even bigger fee to get the next visa, which is valid for two and a half years, and allows K to work and to benefit from the National Health Service, although for that we had to pay £500 each for the Immigration Health Surcharge..

But.. when we married, K's Maid of Honour, Elizabeth, an old friend, was here on a Visit Visa, her second, and she will be here again in the Spring on another Visit Visa... 

How? Well, Elizabeth is a professional yacht crew, working on super yachts in the Med. She was here to upgrade her Master's Certificate. She has a well paid job, was attending a serious course at Warsash, has the means to support herself, did not have a love interest here, and had a letter from her employers requiring her back on "X" date. So she has got two Visit visas so far with no trouble.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2016 by Methersgate