Are You Older than your Mother-in-Law?

[Mark Berkowitz]

I’m older than my mother-in-law and I think that this is not unusual for Expats in the Philippines.

At first, I was feeling a bit awkward about calling her ‘mom’ but she suggested that I call her ‘Inang’ (Kampangan for ‘mom’) out of respect. Since it is (or once was a foreign word to me), I call her by that name without feeling too silly about it.

My father-in-law, who spent over 30 years as an OFW in Saudi, is two years older than me—I’ve been calling him ‘Tatang’ (the Kampangan word for ‘Dad’).

Whatever language you use, it still feels a bit silly to call people who are younger (or close to your own age) Mom and Dad? In some ways, it feels like calling a young man (who behaves as if he’s much older than his actual age) ‘Grandpa’ or ‘Gramps’?

However, I continue to do this out of respect for my family and the culture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AlwaysRt]

2 minutes ago, Mark Berkowitz said:

I’m older than my mother-in-law and I think that this is not unusual for Expats in the Philippines.

At first, I was feeling a bit awkward about calling her ‘mom’ but she suggested that I call her ‘Inang’ (Kampangan for ‘mom’) out of respect. Since it is (or once was a foreign word to me), I call her by that name without feeling too silly about it.

My father-in-law, who spent over 30 years as an OFW in Saudi, is two years older than me—I’ve been calling him ‘Tatang’ (the Kampangan word for ‘Dad’).

Whatever language you use, it still feels a bit silly to call people who are younger (or close to your own age) Mom and Dad? In some ways, it feels like calling a young man (who behaves as if he’s much older than his actual age) ‘Grandpa’ or ‘Gramps’?

However, I continue to do this out of respect for my family and the culture.

Hahahaha I had to check and see if I wrote this and forgot about it LOL. I am exactly the same, older than Mama and 2 years younger than Papa.

[Dave Hounddriver]

3 minutes ago, Mark Berkowitz said:

 

I’m older than my mother-in-law and I think that this is not unusual for Expats in the Philippines

 

Good point.  I hesitate to say whether it is a lot or a few expats who are older than their mother-in-law as each person's experience will vary by the social group they hang out with.

The point I want to make is that the "mother-in-law" will be a crucial figure in your Philippine experience.  Try to get her respect and call her whatever she wants.  Blood is a stronger tie than marriage when it comes to mothers and daughters here.

[Mark Berkowitz]

2 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

The point I want to make is that the "mother-in-law" will be a crucial figure in your Philippine experience.  Try to get her respect and call her whatever she wants.  Blood is a stronger tie than marriage when it comes to mothers and daughters here.

Thanks Dave! That's great advice!

[Reboot]

I don't have that problem, her parents were born about the same time as mine.

But her nanay died giving birth to her younger sister, she was just 4. Her step mom died of kidney failure in 2002. So her tatay just runs around town with lady friends, now. The kids try to keep him under control (there's 7). They refused to give him my old Samsung S5 phone...it would only encourage him with those female "chat mates."

No mother in law problems for me, although her tita might as well be. She seems to be the one who runs the pamily.

Edited June 23, 2017 by Reboot

[Gary D]

Am I older than my mother in law. No Im not Matandang, Mayaman, Madaling, Mamatay.

[fillipino_wannabe]

I'm doing it the wrong way round, I'm 27 and the girlfriend is 36. Has a 17 year old daughter too haha

[Dave Hounddriver]

Just now, fillipino_wannabe said:

Has a 17 year old daughter too

Hmmm.  Quite the combination.  Is there an interesting tale to go along with this tidbit of information or are we to be left using our imaginations?

[fillipino_wannabe]

Haha definitely not, the girlfriend would literally kill me

[Snowy79]

I think I'd be worried if I had an attractive, single, mother in law who was younger than me.