Helping out a deceased American friend. Advise needed!

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, scott h said:

as much documentation together as possible

Tom's 3 closest friends (myself and 2 others) have talked about it.  We each feel that Tom stubbornly stuck to the belief that this was his son and he was going to do what was right (as in support him and go back to Philippines to live with him and his mother - which unfortunately did not happen)

So when it comes to documentation.  Would notarized statements from his 3 closest friends help?  All we could say is that we knew Tom for the duration of the boy's life and Tom claimed to be the father and supported the boy.  Our private suspicions are just that and i would not even mention that part. 2 of his best friends live in the US and are American, and then there is Canadian Dave 

[Dave Hounddriver]

33 minutes ago, AlwaysRt said:

Do you know if Tom was in the military? There may also be VA benefits available. If yes, the next question will be was he rated for any disability by the VA and what percentage.

Yes.  He did his 3 years or so back in the '70s and even got some kind of medical benefit from them.  I wasn't enough to live on buy it helped.

[robert k]

You can get DNA from a corpse, from a hair or bone marrow which seems to last a long time although I haven't a clue why. It might not prove the kid was his but I'm sure the negative, that the kid could not be his could be established. Too bad Tom Didn't stay on top and get the CRBA.

[scott h]

8 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

But I'm thinking it could get messy.

kount on it. Remember my brother works for the US state department and works in overseas embassies. He has as much as told me (remember the post about distressed travelers and finical assistance). While they are there to assist, due to the amount of fraud they encounter on a daily basis, they are trained to be as obstructionist as possible. I have no doubt that if this lady has the proper paper work she will prevail in the end. But it will not be easy.

[scott h]

5 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Would notarized statements from his 3 closest friends help? 

IMO there is only one way to find out. Someone needs to schlep down to the embassy, sit down with an official there and inquire as to what is needed in this situation

[Dave Hounddriver]

6 minutes ago, OnMyWay said:

She could pursue the CRBA until they ask for the DNA test.  At that point it will get messy.  Unless there is another DNA sample that can be validated, the body would need to be exhumed.  Attorney will be required.  Family involvement in the U.S., who may fight it

I could be wrong, but just looking at the boy tells me he is not going to pass a DNA test. But I can't make that call.  I would hate to pass judgement just by looking at the kid and saying "he looks filipino to me" and then find out that genetics has come into play and he just happens to look like his mom's side.  (As an aside:  I'm remembering storys of half-blacks in the US who 'passed' for white due to the idiosyncrasies of genetics).  Is DNA always required, even if the father has been dead for a while?  If there is a time limit (like they cannot do it after Tom has been at peace for 2 years) then perhaps its best to let sleeping dogs lie until the time limit.

I can tell you that he has no family in the US who gave a dam or who would fight it.  But there is also no one who would put up any sufficient amount of cash to do all this exhuming and DNA.  I would not do it.  That would get expensive with an uncertain outcome.

[AlwaysRt]

4 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Yes.  He did his 3 years or so back in the '70s and even got some kind of medical benefit from them.  I wasn't enough to live on buy it helped.

If his death was related to his VA benefit, the child could be entitled to survivor benefits. The VA (for some reason), unlike the State Department, has a very low bar for 'proof' of relationship. For example, to add my wife on my VA account, all I had to do was sign into my account online, enter her name and our marriage date, and confirm we were legally married (by clicking a box or something similar). There was no documentation submitted at all, 3 weeks or so later and she was on my account.

[Dave Hounddriver]

5 minutes ago, scott h said:

Someone needs to schlep down to the embassy, sit down with an official there and inquire as to what is needed in this situation

If its like the Canadian Consulate they don't let non Canadians come in (unless accompanied by a Canadian with passport and there is a reason to be there) so that lets me out.

There used to be an American Consul in Cebu who was said to be a good fellow.  He's probably not there any more.  I'm remembering a friend who had "questionable' children who was told that DNA was not required after he had been married to the mother for 5 years so his kids got the benefit of that, but Tom never married.

[AlwaysRt]

2 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I can tell you that he has no family in the US who gave a dam or who would fight it.

Also in question is would they allow his body to be exhumed, who has the right to say yes or no, and is there a body to exhume (sounds like the family might have went the cheaper cremation route)?

*sorry this is a bit graphic, I know we are talking about a friend.

[OnMyWay]

3 minutes ago, scott h said:

IMO there is only one way to find out. Someone needs to schlep down to the embassy, sit down with an official there and inquire as to what is needed in this situation

I don't know where they are, but again I mention an outreach as a possible first step.  They could answer a couple of questions but honestly, they are expecting the applicant to be prepared by reading all of the online information first.  They are strict and if you are not prepared with requested documentation, they won't entertain you for long.

I have done 2 CRBAs and the first thing they do is eyeball the kid.  I have watched others too, and if they are old enough, they will talk to the kid too.  I think first first impressions are huge, so if the kid looks Filipino, has an unmarried mother and a deceased American father, you are looking at a DNA test no matter how much other documents you have.  An affidavit from someone who knew them doesn't hold much weight.  Pictures of the family together since birth has more weight.

DNA tests are expensive, and this one would be even more, given the circumstances to gather DNA.  If the Filipina is 100% sure that he is the daddy and someone has deep pockets to fund the DNA project, she could go forward.

It is all here:

https://ph.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/birth/