Trying to have the last say

[stevewool]

Maybe many of you have been there , you start of having a chat about this and that and the family comes into the conversation and the net minute its getting a little out of hand, not a all out war but you are expressing your own thoughts about so and so.

They are not like that at all is what you are getting back, and in a way they are not , they would feed you and share there last food with you, they would like to show you off to all there friends too, they all like to be around you, they would give up there bed for you too, so are they really that bad.

Then it all comes back, CASH, MONEY, its the root of all evil , once these words are mentioned things seem to change, and i have a great memory too.

Now dont get e wrong my family have there own problems too, some may share , some dont give a dam , but i know who they are and i will tell them too, face to face , and there is no smile its the look of death.

So is it a case where the Filipino do forgive and forget and move on to the next loan, sorry cash gift, i am not on about a few quid here and there its when they ask for a few thousand for something i would like too, but i have to save for.

This has nothing to do with the gift for Emma's dad, but its the answer you get from the rest of the family that gets me,"we have commitments , we have bills , we are saving for a holiday, we have to pay the bills for college", but then you see there kids with the latest gadgets even cars and every picture on facebook there are eating out.

So much for being short, and i do mean cash.

Now breath and the rant is over, and Emma is still Emma and i am still kuripot.

[Gary D]

The problem is that you. can't just give to one, they all expect similar.

[JDDavao II]

I only know that, if the stories I hear are even half true, I got me a one-of-a-limited-number Filipina. My wife won't give anything to anyone without a damn good reason. Then again, I don't think her extended family are the kind that asks. Or, if they were, they don't any longer.

Sure, there have been times when we helped. Her father has had a stroke and a couple of times the sister's money from abroad didn't make it on time and he needed his meds. Her mother needed new glasses (Self-preservation, there. She cooks for us so I'd want good eyesight there or I might be eating salt instead of sugar.)  Things like that don't bother me.

A couple of time we've contributed to help bury someone and once we chipped in with her batchmates to provide the means for one of their close friends to have breast cancer surgery. 

For two years running, we had her little niece over for about a month at her birthday and kind of spoiled her. I wanted her to get English lessons and swimming lessons and learn to play the Sousaphone and all sorts of things to help her experience some of the big, wide world. I was vetoed on most of my requests.

So these horror stories that I hear of relatives constantly making requests for cashola just blow my mind. But I sympathize.

[Mark Berkowitz]

Since family is thicker than marriage (in the Philippines), I've learned the hard way to never complain about money going to the family. It's a hot button that I no longer wish to push.

[stevewool]

Talk about being kicked when your down , I finely got those magic words said to me.

Think of how many blessings will come your way.

Can any wise person explain to me about this plus the amen thing too.

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, stevewool said:

Think of how many blessings will come your way.

They learn that in church.  It is more blessed to give than to receive.  So they are helping you get many blessings by receiving your generous gifts.  But it must be "heartily given" whatever that means.

[sonjack2847]

1 hour ago, stevewool said:

Talk about being kicked when your down , I finely got those magic words said to me.

Think of how many blessings will come your way.

Can any wise person explain to me about this plus the amen thing too.

It`s a way of saying you give to me but I will keep what I have.

[sonjack2847]

1 hour ago, JDDavao said:

I only know that, if the stories I hear are even half true, I got me a one-of-a-limited-number Filipina. My wife won't give anything to anyone without a damn good reason. Then again, I don't think her extended family are the kind that asks. Or, if they were, they don't any longer.

Sure, there have been times when we helped. Her father has had a stroke and a couple of times the sister's money from abroad didn't make it on time and he needed his meds. Her mother needed new glasses (Self-preservation, there. She cooks for us so I'd want good eyesight there or I might be eating salt instead of sugar.)  Things like that don't bother me.

A couple of time we've contributed to help bury someone and once we chipped in with her batchmates to provide the means for one of their close friends to have breast cancer surgery. 

For two years running, we had her little niece over for about a month at her birthday and kind of spoiled her. I wanted her to get English lessons and swimming lessons and learn to play the Sousaphone and all sorts of things to help her experience some of the big, wide world. I was vetoed on most of my requests.

So these horror stories that I hear of relatives constantly making requests for cashola just blow my mind. But I sympathize.

That is the same as my family here,they never ask and they are dirt poor farmers.

[Kuya John]

2 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

They learn that in church.  It is more blessed to give than to receive.  So they are helping you get many blessings by receiving your generous gifts.  But it must be "heartily given" whatever that means.

Absolutely Dave,

That's what Christianity is about, better not to give, than  to give with a heavy heart.

However, to deceive a noble giver or abuse their generosity usually only happens once, well it does with me.

From the stories we hear on the forum, it's true to say most of us have been stung at least once.

There will always be those who are less fortunate than ourselves, give what you can, when you can, to those in genuine need.

Edited July 29, 2017 by Kuya John

[virginprune]

3 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

That is the same as my family here,they never ask and they are dirt poor farmers.

My family sometimes asks because their salary is late but it is always asked as a loan and always repaid. Occasionally I will give or donate but that is my decision with no pressure at all and lots of thanks.