Please Help! Victim of Paternal Alienation

[Snowy79]

It's definitely a can of worms. There's too many twists and turns in a land with lets say a different culture to come to any sensible answer.

The way I see it, you've obviously done something in the relationship to turn a person who has a lot of spite against you. You also made a mistake of choosing someone who doesn't let sleeping dogs lie and if what you are saying is true maybe a bit of a predator who knows she can shaft people financially

From the suggestions I've seen so far my take on it is:

1. Go the legal route and open yourself up to admitting you've broken the law by adultery so are obviously a criminal in a judges eye's. Your ex has obviously also broken the law so you'll drag her into it. Judging by what you've said this will just make her even madder and then it's her words against yours. I wonder who will win! 

2. Try to get the local bible puncher involved and use that person to shame the family into talking to her. Again this could turn nasty if she loses face. There's one thing about Filipinos and they don't want to lose face so guess who will suffer!

3. Deal with it the way some local Filipinos deal with those that annoy them. You might get rid of one of the problems but you'll certainly not be handed the kids as they could be used as a meal ticket for the family and I hear visitation rights from prison isn't a strong point over here.

4. Bite the bullet and realise that you're not going to win but while you continue to communicate with her she is playing you like a fool and at best just mentally torturing you whilst turning the kids against you. Erase everything from the past and get yourself a new partner, treat her well and with respect. As most on here that have gone through horrendous divorces in the past will tell you. Going through one was probably the worst days of their lives and plenty of bad thoughts were going through their minds. They thought the World for them was over. Fast forward a few years and many are loved up with the person of their dreams and a whole new life has started. This would be my option.

[stevewool]

No reply from the op yet.

It's funny when I was going through shit in my life I had no one to turn too, I did not want my family involved and her family well that's there own flesh and blood so who am I.

So I asked for advice on a forum someone who did not know me or the ex, some great advice came my way , but also lots of questions too.

We have to remember we are listening or reading from one side who is hurt and maybe has no where else to turn too, the biggest problem for the sometimes is lestening to the advice given and not the advice they are wanting to here.

Just one more thing to add and I have done this myself too.

Sometimes we don't want advice we just want sympathy, just saying

Edited August 16, 2017 by stevewool

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, stevewool said:

Sometimes we don't want advice we just want sympathy, just saying

Sympathy?  From this site?  I remember going to my dear old Dad for sympathy and being told to look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

[acuario2015]

Oh wow! Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my post and I appreciate all the advice. Well my son (6) is the spitting image of me and my daughter (4) looks like the mom so there could possibly be a DNA issue with her, but I am not even allowed contact much less enough time to swab her cheeks for DNA testing to find out.

Since the original post, I decided to file a case with DSWD on the mom. That was not a good decision because, after weeks of dealing with their nonsense, procrastination, incompetence, and just plain laziness, all they did was draw up an agreement where I would pay 10k a month for support and in exchange I would get 6 hours of visitation at my location of choosing on Sunday. My ex stuck to that agreement for about 1 month before she went back to her old hyena-like ways and made a scene in MOA calling guards and cops on me for no reason. 

I've decided that I will take the advice of what the majority of people have said and just walk away because it's like self-mutilation dealing with the lawyers and government workers in this country in addition to my ex's uncivilized behavior. I honestly don't deserve it. 

Someone commented that my story might not be true. It's totally true. But I was never married to my ex, she was the one who lied to me and told me that she was single. She was already married to a Filipino for several years but I have no idea how to find him. The priest idea is good but these are the most hypocritical so-called Christians or so-called Catholics who should immediately see lightning bolts strike if my ex or any of her family members step one foot inside a church. 

I heard a lot of people say they would like to hear my ex's side of the story. I can tell you that she does what most vindictive women do who are actually the aggressors - they start crying and play the victim! I'm an abuser, he hit me, all this nonsense. In reality, I despise hitting women. But when a woman, like my ex, uses her fists, long nails, and other items as weapons as goes so far as to cause body damage or strike blood, which she did on many occasions just because she was angry, then in my mind I am no longer dealing with a woman. It's more like a domestic terrorist. 

Thank goodness she's far far away. I feel bad for not seeing the kids but like others mentioned, time will bring better results. Thanks for all the comments again! 

 

 

[stevewool]

Thank you for getting back to us and we all agree it can be a very bad time for all involved.

The only people that suffer is the kids ,they either never see one of there parents or as used for cash or mental stress on the other.

Are you still paying for there upbringing may I ask.