How much for how long.

[stevewool]

Well after a few minutes on face time or something like that today , Ema was told and shown her sisters new car, the one she wanted a loan from me so she could buy her own car which i did say a big fat NO to.

Anyway there it is a Toyota  fortuner , and she was driving it too around the street where she lives , talk about being nervous and that was just me being thousands of miles away too watching her drive this thing, maybe not talking and showing her driving skills while holding the phone did not help, but i wonder what is most important in her mind.

She was going to the local church to have blessings or to show off i am thinking.

16,000 peso each month and thats for eight years i am told , and because i did not lend /give her the money its all down to me why she is paying so much.

Buy the way they have also brought a electric 3 wheeled trike for the kids to fly around the estate too, but funny they did not have enough to put towards the fathers motorbike.

It does make me think is the Philippines for me as when Emma is talking to her family she does seem to go back to how family and supporting each other is important, but i dont see it in return at all, thank god there are 7,0000 islands i am told so that could be a blessing .

[Snowy79]

8 minutes ago, stevewool said:

Well after a few minutes on face time or something like that today , Ema was told and shown her sisters new car, the one she wanted a loan from me so she could buy her own car which i did say a big fat NO to.

Anyway there it is a Toyota  fortuner , and she was driving it too around the street where she lives , talk about being nervous and that was just me being thousands of miles away too watching her drive this thing, maybe not talking and showing her driving skills while holding the phone did not help, but i wonder what is most important in her mind.

She was going to the local church to have blessings or to show off i am thinking.

16,000 peso each month and thats for eight years i am told , and because i did not lend /give her the money its all down to me why she is paying so much.

Buy the way they have also brought a electric 3 wheeled trike for the kids to fly around the estate too, but funny they did not have enough to put towards the fathers motorbike.

It does make me think is the Philippines for me as when Emma is talking to her family she does seem to go back to how family and supporting each other is important, but i dont see it in return at all, thank god there are 7,0000 islands i am told so that could be a blessing .

Over time I'm realising the locals try their luck with your generosity. We are lulled into a sense that we are privileged and therefore we should help out. 

What we've got to realise is they are privileged in having more cheek to expect us to bail them out than the average westerners does. The also have the ability to take a refusal like water off of a ducks back.

I'm into double figures now of people with relatives in hospital etc that need the money urgently. One week later after refusing them I ask if they got sorted out and surprisingly everyone is fine. They've either got the funds from some other mug or the problem wasn't that urgent in the first place. 

[expatuk2014]

My wife deals with all the requests for help from the locals 

And she never gives anything ! She says it will never be repaid 

And if you lend them once they will keep coming back even though

They havent paid the first loan !

[Jack Peterson]

9 hours ago, expatuk2014 said:

she never gives anything ! She says it will never be repaid 

Wish mine was the same ALL the time, the last 2 helpers that have now gone still owe cash Advances, yet again, the newest one been here only 2 weeks and has asked yesterday for an Advance to repay an Advance from her last place. Will we never learn? 

[Dave Hounddriver]

47 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

Will we never learn?

Perhaps you could explain to "A" that you are the one home dealing with this all day so you would prefer to hire through an agency so you can control the situation?  Mind you, it may cost more through an agency and if so you would be at the same spot financially..  Just a thought.

Now I can't say if there is an agency in Dumaguete that performs this service so if there isn't one, we should get one started 

[Jack Peterson]

3 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Now I can't say if there is an agency in Dumaguete that performs this service so if there isn't one, we should get one started 

 There are 1/2 but having tried one it is a NO! You never know who will turn up and at what times Trust is a Big thing here and although Trust is abused by no matter who, It is better for me to stay   and save any Arguments until she wants more Money then it will be 

[sonjack2847]

15 hours ago, stevewool said:

Well after a few minutes on face time or something like that today , Ema was told and shown her sisters new car, the one she wanted a loan from me so she could buy her own car which i did say a big fat NO to.

Anyway there it is a Toyota  fortuner , and she was driving it too around the street where she lives , talk about being nervous and that was just me being thousands of miles away too watching her drive this thing, maybe not talking and showing her driving skills while holding the phone did not help, but i wonder what is most important in her mind.

She was going to the local church to have blessings or to show off i am thinking.

16,000 peso each month and thats for eight years i am told , and because i did not lend /give her the money its all down to me why she is paying so much.

Buy the way they have also brought a electric 3 wheeled trike for the kids to fly around the estate too, but funny they did not have enough to put towards the fathers motorbike.

It does make me think is the Philippines for me as when Emma is talking to her family she does seem to go back to how family and supporting each other is important, but i dont see it in return at all, thank god there are 7,0000 islands i am told so that could be a blessing .

Holy moly you have a chit family over here.

[Snowy79]

I was asking my partner today how her family were doing. She told me not so good as her sister had borrowed money from her boyfriend to give to her Mother. Obviously her boyfriend had borrowed the money from someone else. 

The fun part is when her sister suddenly realised she can't pay the money back so now there's a whole load of people in the food chain up the creek. The perks of having an extended family. Luckily I'm no where in that chain 

[stevewool]

7 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

Wish mine was the same ALL the time, the last 2 helpers that have now gone still owe cash Advances, yet again, the newest one been here only 2 weeks and has asked yesterday for an Advance to repay an Advance from her last place. Will we never learn? 

We learn, but it's our partners who don't, if you tell it how it is they go all funny with you, then when you say do it yourself don't involve me, then you are not bothered, so really it's best to be grumpy tight and not bothered  when the family is involved.

It's good we have each other who do listen..

[stevewool]

5 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

Holy moly you have a chit family over here.

It seems I am the odd one out in the family