Do you find your SO or Family insensitive at times?

[mogo51]

On 9/27/2017 at 8:59 AM, sonjack2847 said:

I find that I have to choose my words carefully or they will get upset but they can say what they want.I think Jack that sometimes they just don`t think.C U tomorrow.

I have to agree Kev & Jack.  Sometimes I just scratch my head and wonder 'where did that come from'.  But it is often what they don't say that keeps me wondering.  Most of us say 'please' 'thank you' as second nature.  Often there is no reaction whatsoever when you show an act of kindness.  

I just put it down to the east/west thing and carry on living here, which is a pretty good experience overall.

[davewe]

Since I have yet to "get" the little things, I should probably give up on the big culture differences. The first time I met Janet's family, 5+ years ago her brother went to get my bag to carry for me. I looked at him like he was crazy. I'm an American, independent damn it, and am not so old as to not be able to carry my own bag. A couple months later in conversation Janet mention that her brother was perplexed by my unwillingness to have him "help me." He might have even viewed my refusal as insensitive. I got it, sort of, and the next time I was there I acted feeble and let him carry everything. He really seemed happy to do it. 

Have I learned? Maybe not. As mentioned in another post, the other day my wife wanted to help me build my workbench. I told her I was fine, needed no help. I'm an independent American, damn it. She pouted a bit. Finally the light bulb lit up. "Sure I could use your help," I said. I let her make some saw cuts, crossing my fingers that my century old Disston would survive. She wanted to drill some holes and I let her. She was proud of herself. She told everyone how she helped me make my bench. 

Bottom line is all this stuff is complicated, challenging, yet fun. I'm not totally sure that the average Filipino is insensitive, since 90% of the time I can't fathom the one I live with 24/7.

[Jake]

6 hours ago, davewe said:

Bottom line is all this stuff is complicated, challenging, yet fun. I'm not totally sure that the average Filipino is insensitive, since 90% of the time I can't fathom the one I live with 24/7.

Good morning Dave,

What an excellent essay for newbie expats to read and understand all the nuances of the Filipino culture.  More importantly, how one must adjust or compromise against your better judgement, simply because that was how you behave according to western standards or behavior.  

Regarding the Filipino insensitivity, part of that of course is saving face.  The simple act of saying thank you or salamat po is often times not given.  I use reverse acknowledgement by saying you're welcome or walang anuman.  Eventually they get it, especially the young ones.  

Thank you for the morning inspiration Dave!  

[Eldon Cordrey]

Filipinos are care about Titles and respect.  Americans care about Appreciation and gratitude.  

[mogo51]

7 hours ago, Eldon Cordrey said:

 

Filipinos are care about Titles and respect.  Americans care about Appreciation and gratitude.

 

What about all the other Nationalities on this forum?

[Jake]

Just now, mogo51 said:

What about all the other Nationalities on this forum?

Roger that Ron.  I don't even know how to characterize other national cultures in just a couple words.  I'm Filipino-American, so you can imagine how my inner multi-culture clashes sometimes.  For example, I still like to pee against the wall but here in southern California, just about everyone is armed with an assault rifle.....he, he.  

[Jack Peterson]

8 minutes ago, mogo51 said:

What about all the other Nationalities on this forum?

 Quite Ron and this can get out of hand sometimes, seems true in many circumstances that Filipino's are only Interested in those From the US, I honestly can't think why when the majority of other National Foreigners have much to offer as well but I will listen to answers on this.

8 hours ago, Eldon Cordrey said:

Filipinos are care about Titles and respect.  Americans care about Appreciation and gratitude.  

  Can I ask  who's Titles and Respect the Filipino or others ?

[not so old china hand]

1 hour ago, mogo51 said:

What about all the other Nationalities on this forum?

We Brits care about accents. For example I speak with what is known as an RE (received English) pronunciation. There are times when other Brits (generally female) will make comments such as "You speak posh don't you?" or "Bet you went to a good school." Well, yes I do, and yes I did. So what has that to do with us having a conversation now?