Dignity in death

[RBM]

A week ago I posted about the death of a friend, well yesterday was funeral time. I will try to explain exactly how the funeral went, many whom are not living here will have problems accepting what I write.

Firstly his partner organised a catholic funeral, first of which I have attended. It went well not un similar to an Anglican, prayers some hymns and the Father spoke clearly in good English. After,  our small group proceeded behind the hearse to the public cemetery about 1km far. 

Upon arrival Big Phill in his coffin was removed by 10 of his partners family, prayers were said and they proceeded to place him in the cavity of the mausoleum.. For those unfamiliar with a Philippine public cemetery the coffin is placed in  a cubby hole in the mausoleum which in our case is some 5 or 6 high. There was a lot of grunting as 10 Filipinos lifted the big guy to head high to finally lay him to rest. Unfortunately there was an outpouring of bisayan amid shouting and grunting....The coffin was specially made and just would not fit......Down he came.

Suddenly a hand planer appeared, after 20 minutes or so with handles removed and one side planed up he goes again, this effort was better as the nose of the coffin entered how ever in spite of the vigorous effort he still refused to enter, back down he comes. At this time the discussions become quite heated, only easing up with arrival of the Jollibee boys handing out hamburgers.....

So... fortified with a burger and soft drink we start again, miraculously from no where a hand saw appears, now begins the mammoth task of sawing around 10cm lengthwise off the coffin.....Such a waste as was a beautiful coffin... Further one little guy was inside Phills resting place with a hammer chipping away the concrete.  My immediate concern was perhaps the big fellow falls out as they heave up again..

.At last after an eternity its done, we await with anticipation for the final departure. Up he goes again amid deafening chatter and instructions from them all. In he goes, at last I am thinking great, suddenly halfway in he stops.....My goodness what next.......No he would not go in or out.....Stuck fast, the noise was increasing and it was eventually explained to me  the cavity was tapered so no way he would fit......

At this stage I was pinching myself....at last after a particularly sterling effort they were again able to heave the big guy  out and lay coffin on ground. There was apparently some talk of just putting Big Phill in without coffin until some bright guy had an excellent idea....

The row of mausoleums further down were far larger......So he was wheeled down there in his planned, sawed. semi destroyed  coffin heaved in with out a problem.Finally at rest.

Guys this was like an episode  for  Only Fools and horses........

 

[scott h]

Now that's the way I want to go,,,a pain in everyone's rear end right up to the last

[Jack Peterson]

5 minutes ago, RBM said:

Guys this was like an episode  for  Only Fools and horses........

Bruce I gave this a laugh only because of this remark as I can visualize this in my mind, It is not funny but it is, I wonder though if a lesson has been learned about the masons checked all measurements before the day?  Another Story my friend to tell the grandchildren EH? 

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, RBM said:

I will try to explain exactly how the funeral went, many whom are not living here will have problems accepting what I write.

As you mentioned before, the guy had no money, so was this some kind of charity burial or did someone come up with  enough pesos to pay for this?

One other thing, for those who plan to live here until death, those holes in the concrete where the coffin goes are only "leased" for a period of years until the body rots and then the bones are pulled out and thrown in a heap so the spot can be used for the next person.  A rich person will have family who will pay for the spot for a longer period of time but the poor get a certain number of years and then go into the heap.

If that bothers you then you will want to make advance plans for your body to be shipped home, or cremated or a long term plot purchased.  How bad can it be?  Well you can google it, but I will put a link in a spoiler for those who want to see the gruesome details of a pauper's cemetery. 

Spoiler

 

 

[Snowy79]

One of my first introductions to the Philippines was my partner's brother's funeral. The family used to be important in the town of Tobaco but true to form had lost a lot of respect once the money was gone. I had the pleasure of stepping in to give him a decent burial, 3 days wake, procession  through the street, back handers to the church and as been highlighted the compulsory Jollybee as the body was entombed. 

I was invited to watch over the body but was advised to not stay overnight in the room where the body was as i was a target for kidnappers. Again we had the guys with the chisel adjusting the hole in the mausoleum where the body went. 

[Castaway]

I’ve been to too many of these local funerals… and even when things go right, they are not pleasant experiences.

Edited October 8, 2017 by Castaway

[bigpearl]

7 hours ago, RBM said:

A week ago I posted about the death of a friend, well yesterday was funeral time. I will try to explain exactly how the funeral went, many whom are not living here will have problems accepting what I write.

Firstly his partner organised a catholic funeral, first of which I have attended. It went well not un similar to an Anglican, prayers some hymns and the Father spoke clearly in good English. After,  our small group proceeded behind the hearse to the public cemetery about 1km far. 

Upon arrival Big Phill in his coffin was removed by 10 of his partners family, prayers were said and they proceeded to place him in the cavity of the mausoleum.. For those unfamiliar with a Philippine public cemetery the coffin is placed in  a cubby hole in the mausoleum which in our case is some 5 or 6 high. There was a lot of grunting as 10 Filipinos lifted the big guy to head high to finally lay him to rest. Unfortunately there was an outpouring of bisayan amid shouting and grunting....The coffin was specially made and just would not fit......Down he came.

Suddenly a hand planer appeared, after 20 minutes or so with handles removed and one side planed up he goes again, this effort was better as the nose of the coffin entered how ever in spite of the vigorous effort he still refused to enter, back down he comes. At this time the discussions become quite heated, only easing up with arrival of the Jollibee boys handing out hamburgers.....

So... fortified with a burger and soft drink we start again, miraculously from no where a hand saw appears, now begins the mammoth task of sawing around 10cm lengthwise off the coffin.....Such a waste as was a beautiful coffin... Further one little guy was inside Phills resting place with a hammer chipping away the concrete.  My immediate concern was perhaps the big fellow falls out as they heave up again..

.At last after an eternity its done, we await with anticipation for the final departure. Up he goes again amid deafening chatter and instructions from them all. In he goes, at last I am thinking great, suddenly halfway in he stops.....My goodness what next.......No he would not go in or out.....Stuck fast, the noise was increasing and it was eventually explained to me  the cavity was tapered so no way he would fit......

At this stage I was pinching myself....at last after a particularly sterling effort they were again able to heave the big guy  out and lay coffin on ground. There was apparently some talk of just putting Big Phill in without coffin until some bright guy had an excellent idea....

The row of mausoleums further down were far larger......So he was wheeled down there in his planned, sawed. semi destroyed  coffin heaved in with out a problem.Finally at rest.

Guys this was like an episode  for  Only Fools and horses........

 

Sounds like a Rowan Atkinson scene, God rest his soul.

Cheers, Steve.

[stevewool]

7 hours ago, RBM said:

A week ago I posted about the death of a friend, well yesterday was funeral time. I will try to explain exactly how the funeral went, many whom are not living here will have problems accepting what I write.

Firstly his partner organised a catholic funeral, first of which I have attended. It went well not un similar to an Anglican, prayers some hymns and the Father spoke clearly in good English. After,  our small group proceeded behind the hearse to the public cemetery about 1km far. 

Upon arrival Big Phill in his coffin was removed by 10 of his partners family, prayers were said and they proceeded to place him in the cavity of the mausoleum.. For those unfamiliar with a Philippine public cemetery the coffin is placed in  a cubby hole in the mausoleum which in our case is some 5 or 6 high. There was a lot of grunting as 10 Filipinos lifted the big guy to head high to finally lay him to rest. Unfortunately there was an outpouring of bisayan amid shouting and grunting....The coffin was specially made and just would not fit......Down he came.

Suddenly a hand planer appeared, after 20 minutes or so with handles removed and one side planed up he goes again, this effort was better as the nose of the coffin entered how ever in spite of the vigorous effort he still refused to enter, back down he comes. At this time the discussions become quite heated, only easing up with arrival of the Jollibee boys handing out hamburgers.....

So... fortified with a burger and soft drink we start again, miraculously from no where a hand saw appears, now begins the mammoth task of sawing around 10cm lengthwise off the coffin.....Such a waste as was a beautiful coffin... Further one little guy was inside Phills resting place with a hammer chipping away the concrete.  My immediate concern was perhaps the big fellow falls out as they heave up again..

.At last after an eternity its done, we await with anticipation for the final departure. Up he goes again amid deafening chatter and instructions from them all. In he goes, at last I am thinking great, suddenly halfway in he stops.....My goodness what next.......No he would not go in or out.....Stuck fast, the noise was increasing and it was eventually explained to me  the cavity was tapered so no way he would fit......

At this stage I was pinching myself....at last after a particularly sterling effort they were again able to heave the big guy  out and lay coffin on ground. There was apparently some talk of just putting Big Phill in without coffin until some bright guy had an excellent idea....

The row of mausoleums further down were far larger......So he was wheeled down there in his planned, sawed. semi destroyed  coffin heaved in with out a problem.Finally at rest.

Guys this was like an episode  for  Only Fools and horses........

 

Thats the way i would want to go, having the last laugh

[mogo51]

Now that is why I want to get bbqed.  I attended a similar fiasco in Thailand when a friend passed away.  But not quite as bad as this one.

Instead of being bbq he was broilet, I did not go back and check but reckon it was a couple of days before the job was done.

[virginprune]

Cremation and ashes scattered for me....job done ( hopefully )