A reminder to know the law or risks

[Eddie1]

Hmm, all this is making me a bit nervous about my impending situation.  Noime and Myself are cohabitating here in Dumaguete but after Xmas we will look for a 2 bedroom place to live so that she can bring her 6 year old son to live with us.  By taking on the role of a stepfather am I breaking the law?  I am not looking to get married in the foreseeable future so am I getting myself into hot water by taking on this role?

[Jack Peterson]

3 minutes ago, Eddie1 said:

Hmm, all this is making me a bit nervous about my impending situation.  Noime and Myself are cohabitating here in Dumaguete but after Xmas we will look for a 2 bedroom place to live so that she can bring her 6 year old son to live with us.  By taking on the role of a stepfather am I breaking the law?  I am not looking to get married in the foreseeable future so am I getting myself into hot water by taking on this role?

 Hi Eddie, as far as I can make out as long as there is a Relationship with the Mother it is fine as I was with TM when she was 7

 Cohabitation here in the Philippines seems greater/higher than legal marriages, TM started to call me "DAD" quickly as I was the only father she has ever known, I am quite sure you will have no problems at all 

[Dave Hounddriver]

25 minutes ago, Reboot said:

Any 66 year old lechering on a 17 year old is begging for trouble. Dirty old men that think they can do whatever they like as soon as they've left their nation's borders. If it was my daughter I'd save the Danish government many years' worth of funding for his pension.

Well at least we know where you stand   What about a 66 year old man who meets and marries an 18 year old an supports her and her family for 8 years and both live a great and happy and loving life while those who married girls closer to their own age have split and moved on?  Anomaly?  A few months makes that much difference?  Or age-gap prejudice rearing its head?  I realize my observations on my friends (plural) who have been happily married to younger women for many years will have little impact on your western mindset, but this is Asia.  Its why some men come here, to get away from prejudice.  (And yes some are just dirty old men but you get them everywhere.)

[Reboot]

My apologies. I didn't realize that the Gray Dane met that young girl just so he could help her family.

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

This is a typically poorly worded law. My understanding of that sentence is that the statute applies to minors.  Then the caveats: either 12, or 10 yrs your junior. So if the minor is 12 or under, you are in the wrong no matter your age.  If the minor is 13-17 it depends on your age.  If you are 50, the minor will always be too young. If you are 20, and the minor is 16, it seems to me that this statute does not apply. There may be other statutes that do... 

The family was confused by me when I first got here. I would not stay at the house if all the adults were leaving.  I was with what they called my nieces and nephews, but were not really (you know how they claim everyone as family).  But I was 50 and the kids were between 2 and 15.  I doubt anyone would report me staying at the family house watching tv... but I would not take the chance. 

Correct.   "statute applies to minors", and a minor is defined as under 18 years of age.  The 10 year rule applies as you describe and after age 18 they are an adult, so no more 10 year rule.  Age 18 with a 99 year old fart is fine.

The other age 25 rule is for consent to marry.

I was also in the same scenario as Eddie1 before I married.  We lived together for 3 years during which time my wife's daughter was 8 to 11.  During the 6 months I lived at her house in lower middle class Laguna, where everybody knows your business, I also avoided being left alone with her which was not hard because we had a nanny and my wife was not working.   Someone could blackmail you if they had a mind to.  After we moved to Subic and into an upscale neighborhood, living as a family in a house I paid for, I relaxed about it.  Especially after our first baby came and our family grew.  After marriage, no worries.

 

[Reboot]

There's always a good defense in a court of law.

 

 

[canadamale]

Now when I am in the Philippines, my gf has a 12 yr old brother. The brother and I hang out lots, we go grocery shopping, go for coffee, go to movies together, go swimming. He reminds me so much of my grandsons. It is very scary to believe I could be arrested, locked up and black listed for this.

[Jack Peterson]

1 minute ago, canadamale said:

It is very scary to believe I could be arrested, locked up and black listed for this.

Relax a little, as I said to Eddie1 the important bit is a relationship with his Mother and the Lad will soon tell any enquiring Authority who you are,

carry a Photo of the 3 of you in your Wallet, even as one friend of mine has is a letter of Permission from the Lads Mother for him to be out with you, One thing they love here is Proof of Something that they can't/shouldn't argue with YES! I know where we are but 

[canadamale]

15 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

lax a little, as I said to Eddie1 the important bit is a relationship with his Mother and the Lad will soon tell any enquiring Authority who you are,

carry a Photo of the 3 of you in your Wallet, even as one friend of mine has is a letter of Permission from the Lads Mother for him to be out with you, One thing they love here is Proof of Something that they can't/shouldn't argue with YES! I know where we are but 

yes I believe that is good advice, although I do not see anyone making a fuss unless they see a way to personally profit. I have heard of this law before, maybe even from this forum. I just never gave it much thought. Heron and I have gotten close in the 3 yrs I have been with his sister. I will be discussing this with the gf but somehow I do not see her taking this as serious  as it should be.

Edited November 7, 2017 by canadamale
splelling

[Queenie O.]

19 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

This seems to be a pattern in recent years and I wonder about it.  Many years ago, resort staff looked at it like it was not their business who your guests were in your hotel room.  In today's Philippines there are a lot of resorts that report foreigners when bringing anyone who looks underage to your room.

So are they getting a reward?  Are the police holding the resorts responsible if someone is caught with an underage person who was not reported?  Are the resort owners developing a sudden sense of moral consciousness (or crab mentality even)?  What is the impetus causing resorts, hotels and other establishments to drop a dime on old guys with young girls these last few years?  Notice I am not discussing if it is right or wrong, just asking if it is anyone else's business PROVIDED the girl is not being coerced to do something against her will.

From my recent reading,  this law aimed toward foreigners, and that any hotels or resorts that presently don'rt report suspicions could be penalized by the police.