Am i lucky or unlucky

[stevewool]

I class myself as a very lucky man in what i have achieved and have in my life over these last 10 years and i would not change anything , well except a couple of things maybe.

SISTER IN LAWS.

Now i am not saying every family are the same but i have married into a family who seem to have no morels in asking for cash and have very very short memories too, and it upsets my wife when she has to ask me if we can do this and that because they need help.

Today i picked up Ems from work and we did a little shopping and i knew something was bothering her, but i put it down to her doing double shifts and being tied, anyway after getting home and having our evening meal i noticed she had not switch on her ipad and i asked if she was ok , she said yes a little tied but i knew she was hiding something, a few tears was in her eyes and then she told me.

Her other sister is asking her for 50,000 peso, she needs it , she is desperate for it , she is in trouble, she has not been able to budget this months wage and is so short.

This is the sister who works in Abu Dhabi as a sister in the nursing profession she has been there since i met Emma so she is earning very good money, she has free accommodation for her and husband and gets free travel and enjoys flights back to the Philippines and has two children age 18 and 19 in private education the Philippines, her husband has never worked in all the time i have been around, but he drives a new car buys very nice top of the range cloths and gets drunk a lot, goes fishing and seems to do what he wants when he wants .

Now i know i may go on a little about my past experiences with these two sisters  but this sister is the one who said let the three of them build dad a new house and all pay a third, then after the old house was knock down she asked Emma to ask me to borrow them the 355,000 peso as she had no money then when i said NO she would not speak to Emma for over 9 months and her husband abused my wife verbally " ok he was drunk" but thats no excuse in my eyes.

In those nine months of no speaking to Emma we found out that they spent money on flights to the Philippines and brought a car for there daughter so she could drive to and from school, remember they said they had no money.

This is the same sister who maybe is going to the USA to work and is also going into starting a transport company back in the Philippines and was asking me if i would be interested .

And now she has done this.

My answer is a big NO and now Emma has taken it badly she is upset yes because i shall not give it but deep down she made be upset because she is in the middle again.

If Emma will not switch on her ipad she must be worried about what messages she may have and yes i have told her and her sisters before if they need something ask me not Emma because Emma told them its a joint account and Steve needs to be told.

One last thing i am told that if i did borrow/ lend/ give her the money she would pay it back by August ,and funny old me was expecting back next month if we gave it.

Is it like this in many families, who would not bother if they ruined there sisters life or am i just unlucky.

[Jollygoodfellow]

3 hours ago, stevewool said:

Her other sister is asking her for 50,000 peso, she needs it , she is desperate for it , she is in trouble, she has not been able to budget this months wage and is so short.

Yeah it happens but how did it happen is the question. The answer is tell the husband to get a job rather than spending the money. The other thing if Ems works and has her own money then she can decide but mention you are cancelling your holiday due to hardship. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

38 minutes ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

mention you are cancelling your holiday due to hardship.

Or better yet, tell her that due to supporting her family you only have enough money for a holiday for one and you will see her in a couple weeks.

[Eddie1]

Please excuse my bluntness Steve but just tell them to F**k Off. 

[Old55]

You need to have a long talk to your wife Steve. You both need to come to a clear understanding and set some rules . Steve, you should have done this a very long time ago. Emma needs to make some choices. This is not going to be easy they are using both of you because you let them.

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, Old55 said:

You both need to come to a clear understanding and set some rules

Too late:

On 3/2/2018 at 6:18 PM, sonjack2847 said:

Are you under the thumb?

 

On 3/2/2018 at 10:49 PM, stevewool said:

YES,

 

[stevewool]

6 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Yeah it happens but how did it happen is the question. The answer is tell the husband to get a job rather than spending the money. The other thing if Ems works and has her own money then she can decide but mention you are cancelling your holiday due to hardship. 

Exactly in what i said , if he was working then they may never need anymore cash.

Ems own cash, now this is where it gets a little hard, we are both working together for our future so all the money goes into one pot, and out that pot our holiday fund is in there , we have another pot for everyday things plus anther pot for emergencies , our own spare cash could be anything from £10- 700 peso to £100- 7000 peso each month, so we both have not got the funds to give to anyone without talking about it.

Yes we could get the money straight away if it was a emergency , but this money I KNOW I WILL NOT SEE AGAIN.

[stevewool]

6 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Or better yet, tell her that due to supporting her family you only have enough money for a holiday for one and you will see her in a couple weeks.

I could happily go to Spain for a couple of weeks to see my mate and enjoy the company, and i could easy say no holidays this year .

[stevewool]

3 hours ago, Eddie1 said:

Please excuse my bluntness Steve but just tell them to F**k Off. 

That is why they have no contact with me.

1 , they dont like me from the last few times i said no.

2, they dont like me , because i dont have time for her husband.

3, they have block me on facebook.

4  or i would tell them all.

[stevewool]

3 hours ago, Old55 said:

You need to have a long talk to your wife Steve. You both need to come to a clear understanding and set some rules . Steve, you should have done this a very long time ago. Emma needs to make some choices. This is not going to be easy they are using both of you because you let them.

I am glad Emma still comes to me and we will talk about it, and i do know she sends a little now and again, but when it becomes a large sum, well that amount could be 2 months living here for us in England.

I gave Emma the choice years ago, maybe its time for that choice to be brought to the tale again.