How Smelling Your Husband's Gas May Help You Live Longer

Recommended Posts

Jake
Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/2/2018 at 9:30 PM, Julia said:

While researchers are still investigating its full impact, studies so far suggest that the smell of farts can help to ward off cancer, stroke, and heart attacks along with slowing the development of arthritis and dementia.

Hmm......I'm sorry Miss Julia.  This does not pass the smell test.  I'm a living (or dying) testimony of the opposite conclusion.  For the pass 67 years, I live and die smelling my own farts.  After all, I can't get away from it.....no matter how fast I run away.  So I gave up running with my head down between my legs, feeling more righteous every time I let one go.  As I get older, I'm beginning to feel more religious by sharing my most personal genetic aroma.   This old goat doesn't care anymore......he, he.  

I am now in the final stage of arthritic-dementia.  Yeah, it's a two for one combination because I've been gassing myself with a newly advanced nerve agent (AP52) for all these years.  And besides that, my rib cage no longer heals anymore.  Judy's elbow is lightning quick and deadly.  

I'm slowly dying in my Dog House again........

 

PSSSS.......if you really like to hear my own personal notes, I'm mostly between a "Puff Daddy" and "C Note". 

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

Edited by Jake
  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
  • Hmm thinking 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reboot
Posted
Posted
On 4/3/2018 at 1:44 AM, Gary D said:

I can assure you farting under the duvet then flapping it over the wife's head is not conducive to a long life.

Where I'm from they call that method the "Dutch Oven." Trap her under the sheets and cut loose! Leads to a long happy marriage they say. Try it.

 

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gerald Glatt
Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Reboot said:

Where I'm from they call that method the "Dutch Oven." Trap her under the sheets and cut loose! Leads to a long happy marriage they say. Try it.

 

 

With a new husband and your life insurance :shock_40_anim_gif:

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Forum Support
Mike J
Posted
Posted

I think I smell a future Pulitzer for that author.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reboot
Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, Mike J said:

I think I smell a future Pulitzer for that author.

So that's what the smell was.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Julia
Posted
Posted
On 4/7/2018 at 11:07 AM, Jake said:

Hmm......I'm sorry Miss Julia.  This does not pass the smell test.  I'm a living (or dying) testimony of the opposite conclusion.  For the pass 67 years, I live and die smelling my own farts.  After all, I can't get away from it.....no matter how fast I run away.  So I gave up running with my head down between my legs, feeling more righteous every time I let one go.  As I get older, I'm beginning to feel more religious by sharing my most personal genetic aroma.   This old goat doesn't care anymore......he, he.  

I am now in the final stage of arthritic-dementia.  Yeah, it's a two for one combination because I've been gassing myself with a newly advanced nerve agent (AP52) for all these years.  And besides that, my rib cage no longer heals anymore.  Judy's elbow is lightning quick and deadly.  

I'm slowly dying in my Dog House again........

 

PSSSS.......if you really like to hear my own personal notes, I'm mostly between a "Puff Daddy" and "C Note". 

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

can hear me laughing hard here, Kuya Jake? HAHAHA...

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...