Arizona Kid Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 17 hours ago, bigmac said: No telling what her mama has told her about her "daddy". So wrong on so many levels... How much actual time did you spend with the child? Enough to bond? Or is this just another way to put a guilt trip on you..I smell a rat!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubberChicken Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 20 hours ago, bigmac said: And again, honesty is honesty no matter where you come from! Honesty cannot be spun into anything other than honesty. The last thing I want to be is contrary. You are very open and by that have helped other people. The same way they want to help you. On that note your belief system could cause you to repeat the same problems over and over. Honesty is defined differently on an individual and cultural basis because people can justify anything if they try hard enough. So your wife could believe carrying out the scam is a higher form of righteous honesty and that not scamming you was not being righteous and honest. Based on how they look at obligation and obedience to parental pressure that scenario is not impossible. And yes the s@it gets kind of crazy here. I totally get your point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevewool Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 5 hours ago, Arizona Kid said: How much actual time did you spend with the child? Around 6 weeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmac Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 10 hours ago, Jack Peterson said: Now talking about No prob @bigmacThat to me will be a problem in itself as i believe that Your problems may get worse as things drag on, You have had our Sympathy, Empathy & Advice from many listening ears, Mac, I know, that I am not the easiest person to deal with ( my wife will tell you to live with either) but over the last 10+ years and more I have heard as many here will have also Tales not unlike yours and closure is something we sometimes never hear about the Topic that we have all been discussing, So My friend, Where do we go (that is you of course). You have caught here out, she is not talking to you ( you tell us) That, I think I can understand but Now Mac, with what you have said about the little Girl I sit (as my wife does also) and wonder what there can be done, The ball mate is firmly in your court now, will you try to mend the situation or will you just move on and put it all down to experience, only you can decide that but of course, There will always be ramifications either way. being Married here in the Philippines can be a pain when things like this happen But it has to be dealt with if you are ever thinking of Coming back here. Lots to think about yes! which is why I say the ball is in your court, where are we (You) going with this, Sorry if This sounds a Little OTT and /or dramatic but when it comes to kids I feel They are always the ones to lose out, as i said many Posts ago I for one understand where you are but just wonder where it will go now, I am sure that as members we can give little advice now until you set your course of Action, but so you will know how I for one and I think many more feel about it all I will leave you with this MANY MANY good people here and yes I have learned a lot through this experience and on this forum. If nothing else, I feel I have friends here and thank you ALL for your insight and input. I'll figure it out....where I go from here. Taking one day at a time right now. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmac Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 8 hours ago, stevewool said: Jack you mentioned also many post ago about a merry go round, it’s time for Mac to jump off I recon . Mac has said he has no intentions of ever getting back with his wife he has said , and I have never heard of anyone winning a Divorce cast in the Philippines lots of foreign men losing most things in a divorce I do here about, will he ever go back over there who knows , we are not wearing his shoes, he has a fight on either way fight the family and courts which will cost him more money to what avail , or to let it all go and try to live a peaceful life. Decisions, decisions.....As my dear departed Dad would say: "It's like be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmac Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 6 hours ago, Arizona Kid said: How much actual time did you spend with the child? Enough to bond? Or is this just another way to put a guilt trip on you..I smell a rat!! We bonded and very quickly. She really took to me and I to her. However, at this point I wou8ld not put it past her Mama to use her in any way she can.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bastonjock Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 45 minutes ago, bigmac said: We bonded and very quickly. She really took to me and I to her. However, at this point I wou8ld not put it past her Mama to use her in any way she can.... Can she use the Visa to get to the states ? I'd do everything possible if it was me to see that her entry is blocked She could cause a lot more damage to your finances if she gets stateside Sorry if this causes you anxiety but if her mama and papa are that greedy , that might be their way to hit you harder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmac Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 52 minutes ago, bastonjock said: Can she use the Visa to get to the states ? I'd do everything possible if it was me to see that her entry is blocked She could cause a lot more damage to your finances if she gets stateside Sorry if this causes you anxiety but if her mama and papa are that greedy , that might be their way to hit you harder She has no visa. No worries..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmac Posted January 23, 2019 Author Posted January 23, 2019 6 hours ago, RubberChicken said: The last thing I want to be is contrary. You are very open and by that have helped other people. The same way they want to help you. On that note your belief system could cause you to repeat the same problems over and over. Honesty is defined differently on an individual and cultural basis because people can justify anything if they try hard enough. So your wife could believe carrying out the scam is a higher form of righteous honesty and that not scamming you was not being righteous and honest. Based on how they look at obligation and obedience to parental pressure that scenario is not impossible. And yes the s@it gets kind of crazy here. I totally get your point. Thanks for your input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonjack2847 Posted January 23, 2019 Posted January 23, 2019 8 hours ago, bigmac said: We bonded and very quickly. She really took to me and I to her. However, at this point I wou8ld not put it past her Mama to use her in any way she can.... I have experienced people using their children to further their agenda so you are good to look at it that way.Keep up your positive thoughts well done. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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