Jake Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 (edited) Hey guys, Boy, if I was young at heart and still adventurous in seeking out tropical "spices" in a strange land such as the Philippines, I would definitely seek out advice prior to putting my foot (or whatever) to where you may regret later on. This forum is the best place to read lessons learned from veterans such as Kuya Lee, Roy, JoeatManila, Art, MikeB and others who were kind enough to teach a young grasshopper like Wallaby. I'm especially impress with our relatively new member Papa Carl who was recently married and now a proud father of a beautiful baby girl name Siobban, nick name Chiya. Look at his photo gallery and it's nothing but beautiful smiles and happiness. But Papa Carl did reflect on his previous misgivings (foolish adventures) which quickly depleted his finances. It is forum like this that we not only share our successes but failures as well. Thank you for your candor into your personal life Papa Carl. As I mentioned before, if I had to start all over again, I would hang out in cafes, book stores or parks that are nearby call centers, nursing schools and college campuses. Talk about independent minded young Filipinas! What better way to introducing yourself by taking photos and giving out your calling/business cards as Kuya Lee suggested. Perhaps Papa Carl who was a manager of one of the largest call centers in Manila might be able to hook you up, at least arrange someone to meet you at the airport. Besides extended family issues, you also need to watch out for current husbands and ex-boyfriends that may still be lurking around your potential mate. It will take time, effort and money to find the "right one" but nothing is perfect -- you just have to compensate or tolerate within your means, especially present and future finances. If it looks too good to be true, use common sense rather than your ego or sex drive. Believe me, the use of deception here in the Philippines is at a level of pure scientific art form. Good hunting -- Jake Edited August 11, 2013 by Jake Korrect my Englesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Support Old55 Posted May 5, 2011 Forum Support Posted May 5, 2011 Hey guys,Boy, if I was young at heart and still adventurous in seeking out tropical "spices" in a strange land such as the Philippines, I would definitely seek out advice prior to putting my foot (or whatever) to where you may regret later on. This forum is the best place to read lessons learned from veterans such as Kuya Lee, Roy, JoeatManila, Art, MikeB and others who were kind enough to teach a young grasshopper like Wallaby. I'm especially impress with our relatively new member Kuya Carl who was recently married and now a proud father of a beautiful baby girl name Siobban, nick name Chiya. Look at his photo gallery and it's nothing but beautiful smiles and happiness. But Kuya Carl did reflect on his previous misgivings (fooling adventures) which quickly depleted his finances. It is forum like this that we not only share our successes but failures as well. Thank you for your candor into your personal life Kuya Carl, or should I say Papa Carl......he, he.As I mentioned before, if I had to start all over again, I would hang out in cafes, book stores or parks that are nearby call centers, nursing schools and college campuses. Talk about independent minded young Filipinas! What better way to introducing yourself by taking photos and giving out your calling/business cards as Kuya Lee suggested. Perhaps Kuya Carl who was a manager of one of the largest call centers in Manila might be able to hook you up, at least arrange someone to meet you at the airport.Besides extended family issues, you also need to watch out for current husbands and ex-boyfriends that may still be lurking around your potential mate. It will take time, effort and money to find the "right one" but nothing is perfect -- you just have to compensate or tolerate within your means,especially present and future finances. If it looks too good to be true, use common sense rather than your ego or sex drive. Believe me, the useof deception here in the Philippines is at a level of pure scientific art form.Good hunting -- Jake :yes: "Papa Carl" I like it Jake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Carl Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Hey guys,Boy, if I was young at heart and still adventurous in seeking out tropical "spices" in a strange land such as the Philippines, I would definitely seek out advice prior to putting my foot (or whatever) to where you may regret later on. This forum is the best place to read lessons learned from veterans such as Kuya Lee, Roy, JoeatManila, Art, MikeB and others who were kind enough to teach a young grasshopper like Wallaby. I'm especially impress with our relatively new member Kuya Carl who was recently married and now a proud father of a beautiful baby girl name Siobban, nick name Chiya. Look at his photo gallery and it's nothing but beautiful smiles and happiness. But Kuya Carl did reflect on his previous misgivings (fooling adventures) which quickly depleted his finances. It is forum like this that we not only share our successes but failures as well. Thank you for your candor into your personal life Kuya Carl, or should I say Papa Carl......he, he.As I mentioned before, if I had to start all over again, I would hang out in cafes, book stores or parks that are nearby call centers, nursing schools and college campuses. Talk about independent minded young Filipinas! What better way to introducing yourself by taking photos and giving out your calling/business cards as Kuya Lee suggested. Perhaps Kuya Carl who was a manager of one of the largest call centers in Manila might be able to hook you up, at least arrange someone to meet you at the airport.Besides extended family issues, you also need to watch out for current husbands and ex-boyfriends that may still be lurking around your potential mate. It will take time, effort and money to find the "right one" but nothing is perfect -- you just have to compensate or tolerate within your means,especially present and future finances. If it looks too good to be true, use common sense rather than your ego or sex drive. Believe me, the useof deception here in the Philippines is at a level of pure scientific art form.Good hunting -- Jake :yes: "Papa Carl" I like it Jake! Wow, that didn't take long, to go from Kuya Carl to Papa Carl, and I didn't feel a thing! Wish it had been that easy, fast and cost effective the first time around! :SugarwareZ-034:On second thought,.... I would have missed out on all the fun with Ellie making Chiya. :as-if:Thanks guys, I guess I'll have to change my moniker now... to Papa Carl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fast&Furious Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Hey guys,Boy, if I was young at heart and still adventurous in seeking out tropical "spices" in a strange land such as the Philippines, I would definitely seek out advice prior to putting my foot (or whatever) to where you may regret later on. This forum is the best place to read lessons learned from veterans such as Kuya Lee, Roy, JoeatManila, Art, MikeB and others who were kind enough to teach a young grasshopper like Wallaby. I'm especially impress with our relatively new member Kuya Carl who was recently married and now a proud father of a beautiful baby girl name Siobban, nick name Chiya. Look at his photo gallery and it's nothing but beautiful smiles and happiness. But Kuya Carl did reflect on his previous misgivings (foolish adventures) which quickly depleted his finances. It is forum like this that we not only share our successes but failures as well. Thank you for your candor into your personal life Kuya Carl, or should I say Papa Carl......he, he.As I mentioned before, if I had to start all over again, I would hang out in cafes, book stores or parks that are nearby call centers, nursing schools and college campuses. Talk about independent minded young Filipinas! What better way to introducing yourself by taking photos and giving out your calling/business cards as Kuya Lee suggested. Perhaps Kuya Carl who was a manager of one of the largest call centers in Manila might be able to hook you up, at least arrange someone to meet you at the airport.Besides extended family issues, you also need to watch out for current husbands and ex-boyfriends that may still be lurking around your potential mate. It will take time, effort and money to find the "right one" but nothing is perfect -- you just have to compensate or tolerate within your means,especially present and future finances. If it looks too good to be true, use common sense rather than your ego or sex drive. Believe me, the useof deception here in the Philippines is at a level of pure scientific art form.Good hunting -- Jake Hi Jake....ehmm that's the hard part, my sex drive is like a Ferrari! Yes , I read too many news about ex-boyfriends stabbing the foreigner guy....looks like I need to do an investigation before to even touch a female Surely I will hang around this forum.....thanks everyone, your advice is really helpful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fast&Furious Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Any man who gets involved and does not set the family issue financial guidelines ahead of time, and at the very beginning of their relationship, may be in for a rocky relationship. please, expand that......is that very common?Thanks Yes I am sorry but that is the Filipino way, helping out their families, so if you set guidelines, then there would most likely be no problems. First and foremost IMHO it is imperative that a person find out how much money a women gives to her family out of her salary if working. If she is sending a certain figure home monthly, then IMO one cannot expect her to just cut off her family if she marries one of us. If she is not working, then find out what her family would expect of her if she were to marry you and set the limits. Example, for my wife and I, and since most of my wifes family are fairly poor, if there is a real emergency, and we are able to establish it as real with a phone call to a hospital or doctors office, or if they are someone whose word we trust completely, then we do our best to help out as much, and as we can afford to, and we always bring or send sacks or rice and used clothing that friends will donate to us, but I insist on not giving money because I have found that poor people often just squander what is given and I can have more fun squandering my own money than letting someone else do it. :yes: Others I know set the rule that they give their wives say p5000 a month to set aside for her family special needs, and then let her to handle any problems that arise, and if she or they squander that, then there will be no more help for them if an emergency arises. This one would take a woman who knows how to handle money and not waste it herself and that money would not be expected to be used on you or her. If you do not wish to help family, then I suggest you do not get involved with most Filipino families, or as Art suggested, find a very independent strong woman who is able to separate herself from her family, this will not happen often here but does happen. I would be happy to help but within my means....I can do p5000/month but at the moment I could not do p1,000,000/month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fast&Furious Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 (edited) Any man who gets involved and does not set the family issue financial guidelines ahead of time, and at the very beginning of their relationship, may be in for a rocky relationship. please, expand that......is that very common?Thanks Yes I am sorry but that is the Filipino way, helping out their families, so if you set guidelines, then there would most likely be no problems. First and foremost IMHO it is imperative that a person find out how much money a women gives to her family out of her salary if working. If she is sending a certain figure home monthly, then IMO one cannot expect her to just cut off her family if she marries one of us. If she is not working, then find out what her family would expect of her if she were to marry you and set the limits. Example, for my wife and I, and since most of my wifes family are fairly poor, if there is a real emergency, and we are able to establish it as real with a phone call to a hospital or doctors office, or if they are someone whose word we trust completely, then we do our best to help out as much, and as we can afford to, and we always bring or send sacks or rice and used clothing that friends will donate to us, but I insist on not giving money because I have found that poor people often just squander what is given and I can have more fun squandering my own money than letting someone else do it. :yes: Others I know set the rule that they give their wives say p5000 a month to set aside for her family special needs, and then let her to handle any problems that arise, and if she or they squander that, then there will be no more help for them if an emergency arises. This one would take a woman who knows how to handle money and not waste it herself and that money would not be expected to be used on you or her. If you do not wish to help family, then I suggest you do not get involved with most Filipino families, or as Art suggested, find a very independent strong woman who is able to separate herself from her family, this will not happen often here but does happen. Family is a fact of life here, so people can either accept it and realize that it is part of what makes Filipinas so kind and loving and most often great wives, or it can also be a thorn in their side for life, or the issue that ends up breaking up the marriage or relationship. Wallaby, wow you have posted some very important questions! I would also like to add, that Art, Lee, Roy and Boss Man, and other, all have valuable contributions and advise here. :AddEmoticons04230:If you were wise you would listen to what they all have to say, put it together with what you know about yourself and what you are looking for...., and take to first step. Go online, but make no promises before you come here! Definitely meet all the relatives you can, assess for yourself the situation, then discuss it with the person who ultimately will make your life wonderful, or hell!Are there any guarantees? No!!! However speaking from experience, it is possible! You can make the same mistakes I did, by not paying attention to some excellent advise here (to my defense I did not get this advise, however it is all common sense (if there is such a thing anymore) and I should have considered each of these anyway. Also in my defense, once you meet with a Filipina who (makes time stand still, from the moment you set eyes on her), logic, common sense, advise etc. etc. is not usually at the fore front of your mind!!!As you have said, you are young (compared to many of us), take your time, do it right and it will be the best decision of your life. Rush into it, take no advice and not only you will pay, but also the other person involved and all of her family!Good luck, and stay in touch with people on this forum, you will get support and advise, even if sometimes you may not agree with it!Carl No worries! I am happy to listen. :) Edited May 7, 2011 by wallaby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Carl Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Any man who gets involved and does not set the family issue financial guidelines ahead of time, and at the very beginning of their relationship, may be in for a rocky relationship. please, expand that......is that very common?Thanks Good for you Wallaby, if you read through the daily threads, you will see that this forum is full of some very good people. Yes there are always a few that may creep in from time to time, but this just goes to show you how genuine and caring most of the members are. Most of all, they all have individual personal experiences to share. You will also notice that most are older than you, with Filipina wives who they have met in different ways. As is usually the case we listen to our wives, who sometimes have the best advice to listen to.Certainly hope you are successful, and when the time comes for you to visit, you will have a good group of friends to meet and help you. CarlYes I am sorry but that is the Filipino way, helping out their families, so if you set guidelines, then there would most likely be no problems. First and foremost IMHO it is imperative that a person find out how much money a women gives to her family out of her salary if working. If she is sending a certain figure home monthly, then IMO one cannot expect her to just cut off her family if she marries one of us. If she is not working, then find out what her family would expect of her if she were to marry you and set the limits. Example, for my wife and I, and since most of my wifes family are fairly poor, if there is a real emergency, and we are able to establish it as real with a phone call to a hospital or doctors office, or if they are someone whose word we trust completely, then we do our best to help out as much, and as we can afford to, and we always bring or send sacks or rice and used clothing that friends will donate to us, but I insist on not giving money because I have found that poor people often just squander what is given and I can have more fun squandering my own money than letting someone else do it. :yes: Others I know set the rule that they give their wives say p5000 a month to set aside for her family special needs, and then let her to handle any problems that arise, and if she or they squander that, then there will be no more help for them if an emergency arises. This one would take a woman who knows how to handle money and not waste it herself and that money would not be expected to be used on you or her. If you do not wish to help family, then I suggest you do not get involved with most Filipino families, or as Art suggested, find a very independent strong woman who is able to separate herself from her family, this will not happen often here but does happen. Family is a fact of life here, so people can either accept it and realize that it is part of what makes Filipinas so kind and loving and most often great wives, or it can also be a thorn in their side for life, or the issue that ends up breaking up the marriage or relationship. Wallaby, wow you have posted some very important questions! I would also like to add, that Art, Lee, Roy and Boss Man, and other, all have valuable contributions and advise here. :AddEmoticons04230:If you were wise you would listen to what they all have to say, put it together with what you know about yourself and what you are looking for...., and take to first step. Go online, but make no promises before you come here! Definitely meet all the relatives you can, assess for yourself the situation, then discuss it with the person who ultimately will make your life wonderful, or hell!Are there any guarantees? No!!! However speaking from experience, it is possible! You can make the same mistakes I did, by not paying attention to some excellent advise here (to my defense I did not get this advise, however it is all common sense (if there is such a thing anymore) and I should have considered each of these anyway. Also in my defense, once you meet with a Filipina who (makes time stand still, from the moment you set eyes on her), logic, common sense, advise etc. etc. is not usually at the fore front of your mind!!!As you have said, you are young (compared to many of us), take your time, do it right and it will be the best decision of your life. Rush into it, take no advice and not only you will pay, but also the other person involved and all of her family!Good luck, and stay in touch with people on this forum, you will get support and advise, even if sometimes you may not agree with it!Carl No worries! I am happy to listen. :) Sorry Wallaby, as you will see I initially posted this in the wrong place! Some of us are new to the forum and still getting used to using it correctly. Although that brings another thought, as Boss Man and Lee have said in other threads. "Just use it, and don't worry about making mistakes" They will correct and help you, as they have with me. I must admit they are very patient and helpful.Good for you Wallaby, if you read through the daily threads, you will see that this forum is full of some very good people. Yes there are always a few that may creep in from time to time, but this just goes to show you how genuine and caring most of the members are. Most of all, they all have individual personal experiences to share. You will also notice that most are older than you, with Filipina wives who they have met in different ways. As is usually the case we listen to our wives, who sometimes have the best advice to listen to.Certainly hope you are successful, and when the time comes for you to visit, you will have a good group of friends to meet and help you. Carl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekimswish Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 The notion of looking for a Filipina specifically is on one hand familiar to me, as I got friends who are like that, and unfamiliar, in that I didn't look for a Filipina at the time, but was familiar with how fond I was of them. I think Jake's advice is the best: hang around places where educated people from good backgrounds hang out. People with jobs. I have a friend who married a rich girl, but she won't be rich for long: the wealth will be divided among a million people when her grandma passes, and she was too lazy to finish her education or ever get a job. I fear for their future, as he's a truck driver who doesn't want to go home to the states, and seems to believe his mom's pension or his wife's riches will float them for a while. Anyways.... go educated... Look for the type of girl you'd look for back home, and in much the same manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fast&Furious Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 The notion of looking for a Filipina specifically is on one hand familiar to me, as I got friends who are like that, and unfamiliar, in that I didn't look for a Filipina at the time, but was familiar with how fond I was of them. I think Jake's advice is the best: hang around places where educated people from good backgrounds hang out. People with jobs. I have a friend who married a rich girl, but she won't be rich for long: the wealth will be divided among a million people when her grandma passes, and she was too lazy to finish her education or ever get a job. I fear for their future, as he's a truck driver who doesn't want to go home to the states, and seems to believe his mom's pension or his wife's riches will float them for a while. Anyways.... go educated... Look for the type of girl you'd look for back home, and in much the same manner.Cebu University then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 The notion of looking for a Filipina specifically is on one hand familiar to me, as I got friends who are like that, and unfamiliar, in that I didn't look for a Filipina at the time, but was familiar with how fond I was of them. I think Jake's advice is the best: hang around places where educated people from good backgrounds hang out. People with jobs. I have a friend who married a rich girl, but she won't be rich for long: the wealth will be divided among a million people when her grandma passes, and she was too lazy to finish her education or ever get a job. I fear for their future, as he's a truck driver who doesn't want to go home to the states, and seems to believe his mom's pension or his wife's riches will float them for a while. Anyways.... go educated... Look for the type of girl you'd look for back home, and in much the same manner.Cebu University then You can find a good woman anywhere or they will find find you eventually as long as you are an honest, caring and responsible person! So why just a one destination location in Cebu? It's beginning to show that the majority of Kanos are living in Cebu, as they say "birds of the same feather flocks together"! Or could it be, it's safer in a swarm of other bees and a lot less lonely being the only Kano on the block or island, but there are a few Kanos who likes the isolation and solitude of being alone in the boonies or far off islands! Different strokes for different folks and the same goes for women too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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