What Is The Best Way To Meet A Good Filipina?

[RetiredNavyGuy]

..... Food for thought anyways.

The points raised in your post remind me of the golden days of youth when being idealistic, politically correct soul mates was the order of the day.As I get older I look more for a practical side to a woman. I see a good filipina in the same light as Tevye saw his wife. Are you old enough to remember these lyrics?

Do I love him? For twenty five years I've lived with him, Fought with him, Starved with him, Twenty five years--My bed is his,If that's not love, what is?

Huh? What lyrics? I refuse to answer on grounds of self-incrimination. Besides, I happen to like a good fiddle when played from a rooftop.

[Old55]

I'm not being idealistic. I know that if someone is after a pretty young girl who will give him a chance to show her how much he cares, and hopefully win her over, then the Philippines is a great place. People are poor and out of desperation will give any foreigner a chance, and if she's a good girl, she'll learn to appreciate how much he cares for her if in fact he cares for her in a sincere way. I'm not against planning who you want to marry based on nationality, but I actually think that's kind of an "idealistic" way of looking at things. To believe that the Philippines is going to offer you a better shot at being happy because Filipinos are so great and all that is at least idealistic, and at most, bordering racist (the nice racism ). I think Filipinos are just as great and just as ungreat as every other nationality on earth, and if they appear to be ultra-great, more than others, it's because you have money and they don't. So going to the Philippines to find the girl of your dreams is okay, but be honest about it: she's probably just with you in the beginning because she's poor. After that it's up to you to win her over for real, and her to deal with the reality that life for foreigners can suck, too, and if it's going to work, she's also gotta be real with you - and not just fake real. That's why I think Jake's advice is good. If you go for girls who aren't completely desperate, then maybe you'll be happier in the long run.

Wow you guys are great, such a wide variety of advise, if Wallaby had any confusion before...., well at any rate it is all good advise. I only wanted to sayIf I knew that I liked Mocha Cake, I would go to the counter that sells Mocha Cakes first! Now some are good, and others... not so good. But I will know this before going to that counter, and will have to try a few, or them all before I get the one that I like, and likes me by not making me pay twice. (for example I love custard, unfortunately it doesn't like me, and I spend too much time paying for eating something I know I shouldn't.)However I would not go to the counter that sells, Chocolate Cakes, or Vanilla Cakes, or Strawberry Cakes, because I already know I like Mocha Cake.Just my thoughts about why I came to the Mocha Counter. Ha Ha.No seriously I know what you guess are saying and I do agree with you, but somehow I just knew that If I was going to end up with my ideal partner, my chances were better here than somewhere else. Fortunately I only had to taste a few and not all of them before I found the one I liked!! Ha ha sorry I couldn't help myself!!!I do know this is a serious topic, and that I should not compare Cake to People, I certainly do not take lightly the relationship I have with Ellie, nor anyone else that I met before her.What can I say, maybe I just got lucky, maybe it was meant to be, either way I wish I had all the advise that everyone is giving to Wallaby before I made so many mistakes, most of all because it is preventing me from doing all the things I would like to with such a wonderful wife!Just wanted to bring a little humour to this thread.Carl

I appreciate each advice from all of you....however I did mistakes too...better not talk about them!

The best lessons are from our mistakes. I'm sure you will do well just take your time keep your eyes open and feet on the ground.

[Papa Carl]

Any man who gets involved and does not set the family issue financial guidelines ahead of time, and at the very beginning of their relationship, may be in for a rocky relationship.

please, expand that......is that very common?Thanks

Yes I am sorry but that is the Filipino way, helping out their families, so if you set guidelines, then there would most likely be no problems. First and foremost IMHO it is imperative that a person find out how much money a women gives to her family out of her salary if working. If she is sending a certain figure home monthly, then IMO one cannot expect her to just cut off her family if she marries one of us. If she is not working, then find out what her family would expect of her if she were to marry you and set the limits. Example, for my wife and I, and since most of my wifes family are fairly poor, if there is a real emergency, and we are able to establish it as real with a phone call to a hospital or doctors office, or if they are someone whose word we trust completely, then we do our best to help out as much, and as we can afford to, and we always bring or send sacks or rice and used clothing that friends will donate to us, but I insist on not giving money because I have found that poor people often just squander what is given and I can have more fun squandering my own money than letting someone else do it. :AddEmoticons04230: Others I know set the rule that they give their wives say p5000 a month to set aside for her family special needs, and then let her to handle any problems that arise, and if she or they squander that, then there will be no more help for them if an emergency arises. This one would take a woman who knows how to handle money and not waste it herself and that money would not be expected to be used on you or her. If you do not wish to help family, then I suggest you do not get involved with most Filipino families, or as Art suggested, find a very independent strong woman who is able to separate herself from her family, this will not happen often here but does happen.

I would be happy to help but within my means....I can do p5000/month but at the moment I could not do p1,000,000/month.

Hi Wallaby, first ..., once your realize that being with a Filipina usually (but not always) means taking responsibility for her family, you can then plan for the future. You must be prepared for this. This is not just about Filipina's who have Foreigner boyfriends or husbands, it is part of the culture here. Within the family, those who have, pay for those who do not have, sometimes this is even extended to friends of family.Of course only you can determine how much if anything you are able to help with, and also when to help. You will learn more about this, the more often you are here, as others have said, nothing replaces "boots on the ground", as it will depend on the person you meet and where her family lives, and what they do etc. You never know, you may well meet a Filipina who has more money than you do! (Not likely but possible)First do your research about the country, typical wages, typical costs, etc. etc. then start to plan your visits, (these should not be planned for meeting a Filipina in mind, but for you to learn about the country and the people who live here.But I think you are getting way ahead of yourself. First, get here and enjoy what a wonderful and beautiful country this is. I really don't think you need to worry about meeting someone, that will happen naturally. Others have advised, not to be too flashy with your money, and this is very good advise as it will certainly attract people (male and female) who are looking for people with money. (you are just asking to meet the wrong people this way)You have made the initial contact with lots of people here in the forum who have offered their assistance and help, so you are way ahead of many who have come here, or possibly met a Filipina where they live.Keep in touch, let us know where you are and what you are planning, I am sure we will help where we can. In the end it is up to you what advise you take on board and from whom. Either way welcome to the forum, and I look forward to meeting with you when you get here.Carl

[Fast&Furious]

Any man who gets involved and does not set the family issue financial guidelines ahead of time, and at the very beginning of their relationship, may be in for a rocky relationship.

please, expand that......is that very common?Thanks

Yes I am sorry but that is the Filipino way, helping out their families, so if you set guidelines, then there would most likely be no problems. First and foremost IMHO it is imperative that a person find out how much money a women gives to her family out of her salary if working. If she is sending a certain figure home monthly, then IMO one cannot expect her to just cut off her family if she marries one of us. If she is not working, then find out what her family would expect of her if she were to marry you and set the limits. Example, for my wife and I, and since most of my wifes family are fairly poor, if there is a real emergency, and we are able to establish it as real with a phone call to a hospital or doctors office, or if they are someone whose word we trust completely, then we do our best to help out as much, and as we can afford to, and we always bring or send sacks or rice and used clothing that friends will donate to us, but I insist on not giving money because I have found that poor people often just squander what is given and I can have more fun squandering my own money than letting someone else do it. :AddEmoticons04230: Others I know set the rule that they give their wives say p5000 a month to set aside for her family special needs, and then let her to handle any problems that arise, and if she or they squander that, then there will be no more help for them if an emergency arises. This one would take a woman who knows how to handle money and not waste it herself and that money would not be expected to be used on you or her. If you do not wish to help family, then I suggest you do not get involved with most Filipino families, or as Art suggested, find a very independent strong woman who is able to separate herself from her family, this will not happen often here but does happen.

I would be happy to help but within my means....I can do p5000/month but at the moment I could not do p1,000,000/month.

Hi Wallaby, first ..., once your realize that being with a Filipina usually (but not always) means taking responsibility for her family, you can then plan for the future. You must be prepared for this. This is not just about Filipina's who have Foreigner boyfriends or husbands, it is part of the culture here. Within the family, those who have, pay for those who do not have, sometimes this is even extended to friends of family.Of course only you can determine how much if anything you are able to help with, and also when to help. You will learn more about this, the more often you are here, as others have said, nothing replaces "boots on the ground", as it will depend on the person you meet and where her family lives, and what they do etc. You never know, you may well meet a Filipina who has more money than you do! (Not likely but possible)First do your research about the country, typical wages, typical costs, etc. etc. then start to plan your visits, (these should not be planned for meeting a Filipina in mind, but for you to learn about the country and the people who live here.But I think you are getting way ahead of yourself. First, get here and enjoy what a wonderful and beautiful country this is. I really don't think you need to worry about meeting someone, that will happen naturally. Others have advised, not to be too flashy with your money, and this is very good advise as it will certainly attract people (male and female) who are looking for people with money. (you are just asking to meet the wrong people this way)You have made the initial contact with lots of people here in the forum who have offered their assistance and help, so you are way ahead of many who have come here, or possibly met a Filipina where they live.Keep in touch, let us know where you are and what you are planning, I am sure we will help where we can. In the end it is up to you what advise you take on board and from whom. Either way welcome to the forum, and I look forward to meeting with you when you get here.Carl

Oh my Lord....now you are making me cry....I can't believe HOW NICE YOU PEOPLE ARE!Time to share more about myself then....I'm originally from Italy, but currently living in Australia.....so English is not my native language.And as an Italian, I'm able to kick a ball... here 2 short videos of me:http://www.perditi.com/me.htmlI'll update the avatar...and people here use to call me Max (English version of Massimo).I have been a policeman, a financial advisor, a professional runner (athletics), webmaster and I'm trying to study more, learn a third language and I'm extremely serious with women, but have been extremely unlucky.I really really REALLY appreciate all your advice guys, it seems to be in a big family :)

[Jake]

Ooh, Oh -- hey guys, we're in trouble now. Mad Max is a formal policeman! But judging from your new avatar,if I was a Filipina, you could cuff me to the bed anytime -- just as long it's "long time"......he, he.Yeah, we're one big happy family here. We are all brothers in crime! Respectfully -- good boy ako, Jake

[Fast&Furious]

Ooh, Oh -- hey guys, we're in trouble now. Mad Max is a formal policeman! But judging from your new avatar,if I was a Filipina, you could cuff me to the bed anytime -- just as long it's "long time"......he, he.Yeah, we're one big happy family here. We are all brothers in crime! Respectfully -- good boy ako, Jake