Gobsmacked! with a little rant thrown in.

[Jack Peterson]

 A Tad sad this morning I must say, My daughter (20 next month) said a couple of things that shocked me a little, Yes shocked me because things are changing, in and around the Circles she ( daughter) is moving in, we often hear, say that the Locals are mindful, respectful and  for their own when push comes to shove BUT This morning, I think I just realised, my daughter is becoming a Snob & starting to look down on those less fortunate than her.

So, she pops her head in the Door and says DAD I am off to Lola's (Where her cousins live) OK, how will you get there? Oh Ma will take me ( Azon has been laid up 3/4 days now with her teeth problem ( 2 out and a lot of work around the Area) Hmmmmm sweetheart why can't they fetch you NAH they can't be bothered so Ma won't mind  she knows I will not get the car out for a 1/2 hour round trip that the bike

does in 10 mins and is only a 15 min walk tops

I said, did you tell Rachel ( our Helper) you were going out? NO why should I! So Little one then she knows to do your room, well came the reply, it is her Job

While I think about it "Trisha" do you ever say Thank you to the helper? NO why should I, You pay her don't you  Angry this morning to say the least, Yes I know we have all got kids like that from our previous life But This threw me this Morning, coming from a pretty Good provincial family and is studying a profession that is going to need some decent bedside manner, I do hope that there  are classes on this issue or I am afraid she is not going to make it either there or in any people related Employment. What are we Breeding here? I ask myself, Today, I would sooner go shopping and  listen to the sales girls with there smiles and morning Sir and the Salamat after paying.

 Rant over 

 

 Jack

 Morning All

 

[Old55]

She's young. Continue being a good example. 

[scott h]

19 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

listen to the sales girls with there smiles and morning Sir

Jak my friend,  it is not you nor your attempt to raise a proper young woman, it is just that your example is being overwhelmed by the local culture. I remember 20 years ago one of my nieces was sitting not 10 feet away from the water cooler, yet she contemptibly ordered the maid to bring her a glass of water. I somewhat angerly asked if her legs were broken and told her to get her own dang water. She looked at me like I had a third eye.

Personally, I call this syndrome the "egomaniac with an inferiority komplex" and in my observation it is pervasive in the culture here. When in a department store I always return the sales persons greeting while everyone else (including my wife, who lived in the states for 20 years) just passes them as if they were a piece of furniture. How many times have you held a door open of a lady, or for anyone else for that matter with out any reaction. Do you normally return a shopping kart to the designated area or just leave it next to your car in an empty parking slot lolol. I could go on and on with examples about driving habits, but the favorite is counterflowing lol, instead of waiting in line for the next green light, many Filipinos will put their personal interests above the safety or feelings of their fellow drivers.

So it is not that you are raising the young lady wrong, it is only that your solid middle class upbringing which was reinforced by a long military career is just being overwhelmed by the examples that she sees everyday and everywhere.

 The hypocritical thing on my part is, is that i walk around feeling morally superior bekause i do return greetings and i do open doors and I do return shopping karts and don't counter flow 

 

IMHO it is just a case of "when in Rome......................" Me personally I will just continue to be one of the barbarians at the gates of the city .

 

 

 

[Mick]

1 hour ago, scott h said:

IMHO it is just a case of "when in Rome......................" Me personally I will just continue to be one of the barbarians at the gates of the city

Reminds me of my time working in Nigeria, we had a very old German CEO, he was around 80 years old, and still going strong, always had 3 girls with him to bow to his every whim, he never moved his ass to get anything, anyway one day we were having a BBQ and he turned up, with his girls, he sat there and the girls set up in front of him, a small table cloth, knife and fork. Spoon, and Salt and pepper pots they had in there bags, at a cave man bbq in the Bush??..... tables were used cable drums .... I asked him later why. His answer. "Don't let yourself fall in to the gates of hell and eat like the locals, and that counts for all daily routines,  I'm also educating them in manners" this has stuck in my mind since that day, you can act accordingly, but dont lower yourself, you never know, something might rub off........... Eventually 

[stevewool]

On my first visits to the Philippines to meet Emma and see her family I was amazed they had a helper in the house hold, or in my eyes a slave, yes I had entered into a different way of life where you just left everything for this one person to do.

What made it worst for me was how the kids treated her leaving the pots and pans where ever they had eaten , cloths just left and when I asked the answer was it’s her job.

Yes I understand they get a wage but a little work by the kids may help them in their own future, just my own thoughts.

Edited April 2, 2019 by stevewool
Spelling again

[Tommy T.]

Hi Jack... sorry for slow response, but I just came online here recently...

I think you make a great point. I see the spoiled kid across the street who always blasts his horn four or five times to alert the household working student to open the gate for him. If she does not appear within 10 seconds, than a second round of horn blasting ensues. Then I hear him talk loudly to her about something (I don't understand the content, but I do recognize the volume and tone as being demanding and condescending).

I just wanted to add that this behaviour may be manifest here in the Philippines, but I have seen it also in USA. Maybe it's just because I am an old fart, but it does seem to me that kids are not brought up with the same standards that most of us experienced - fair to say?

My parents were rather strict - my older sister rebelled to that and I mostly embraced it - don't know why. But I felt my mostly strict upbringing helped to make me a better person than I might otherwise have been. To me it's all about respect. My parents also lived through the depression and worked themselves up through the years. I admire them greatly. They set good examples for myself and my somewhat rebellious sister - always polite, never a loud or mean word and they did most everything themselves - so servants, helpers at all - right to the very end of their lives. How good is that?

I have had times when boarding a local ferry and heading to the disabled, pregnant woman, elderly seat with my heavy backpack loaded with groceries. Then I have stood next to it gazing at the half dozen teenagers sitting there texting or FaceBooking. I would guess that 75% of the time one of them would notice and get up to offer me their seat. The rest of the time, they looked away or stayed busy with their phones.

And no... I can't claim to be that good and nice as my parents...but I do try...best I can do.

Cheers! And thanks for this topic.

[Jack Peterson]

2 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

. Maybe it's just because I am an old fart, but it does seem to me that kids are not brought up with the same standards that most of us experienced

 Tom, this seems very Apt here   

[Tommy T.]

Bwahahahaha! Nice one, Jack! That's it exactly!

[Tommy T.]

Too bad, I shaved off my beard, or that would be me!

[Jack Peterson]

15 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

That's it exactly!

 Much to here dislike when I have need to talk to  I tell her Honey I love you to bits but there are days I just Don't like you