Step Children!

[Jack Peterson]

 I know we have done this before but just now i thought it would be good to see what newbies have to say.

 Mine calls me "DAD" or "DADDY( if she wants something) she has done since 8 years old when I came on the scene permanently. She is now 20 next week. We have some members now that have Stepchildren about 5/ 6/7 & 8 and I guess this is where it starts for the kiddies to realize that they now have a Dad so to me, it is important that a little respect is there so Discipline can be easier to dish out ( let's face it this is the main problem when we have Stepchildren)   Bye the Way I have never ever had that you can't tell me, you are not my dad, for that, I am thankful for both our sakes

Edited May 11, 2019 by Jack Peterson
just a wee bit of correcting

[virginprune]

I have a stepson, he is 20 now and I have known him since he was 15. His father left before he was born and has not shown any interest in contact. He calls me Tito and we have developed a good relationship. This took time but now he respects me and is generally a good lad.

Although he could eat and sleep as an Olympic sport 

Edited May 11, 2019 by virginprune

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I see a lot of guys here with stepkids.  Most are very cool about it. There does always seem to be some disagreement in how to discipline kids - Filipino v Western ways.  My #1 rule when I was dating was 'no kids'. Not existing kids, and none later (thank science). I was a single dad for years, and could be a good stepdad, but I am just too tired to go through it again at my age ha ha

 

I had a boss in the US that always complained about "her" son, speaking of his stepson.  Eventually the stepson killed himself and my boss still was bitching about him.  20 year old, good for nothing, now he hurt his mom by killing himself.  I finally had enough of it and asked how old was the kid when they got together... 3 months old?!  I may have lost my cool a bit and said what I really thought about the guy. He raised this kid his whole life and let him know everyday he was not his son.  What a scumbag. 

[GeoffH]

I had 3 step children in my previous relationship in Australia, I raised them from 12, 8 and 6 until they all moved out of home.  I'm still in regular contact with them (and on good terms) and my daughter (their half sister) treats them and they treat her as sisters.  The half thing isn't really mentioned.

The biological father wasn't completely absent, he paid child support but he lived in another city a few hours away so they tended to see him only on school holidays.

It's all been pretty civilized, (helps that he's a decent guy) could have been a lot worse.

The only one that calls me Dad is my daughter, the others call me Geoff (works for me).

[Clermont]

My wife had 1 son when we met, he's aged 36 now, never married her choice, brought him up by herself, her choice and you could not meet a nicer gent. We've been married over 4 years, he's been to Australia and every time we go back home to visit him, nothing is to much trouble for him when we need something. What I'm trying to say here is, it's the upbringing of the child and the discipline in their youth that makes a good sibling. But what I have noticed in the youth in Western countries and the PI's of late, is their attitude is changing with the access of internet. Maybe I'm getting older and grumpier but the PI children that haven't access to internet always bless you when they meet you, Western kids give a grunt, access to internet or not. Is this going to be the norm in the future for the PI's, I hope not but we can't change their attitude. I just ignore them when they take that attitude and generally an adult steps in and gives them a tongue lashing in their own lingo. Generally the next time we meet their attitude has changed back to respect. Yes I think the attitude problem starts from the very first meeting and if you show them your not their real dad, but a friend not an enemy, but have respect for each other and install boundaries of acceptable discipline guidelines to follow and follow them yourself, I believe you'll have a good relationship with the child/children you've accepted to be father too. Saying that, sometimes there are rouge diamond that just can't be cut and polished, good luck.  

[graham59]

When I met my first Filipina wife (Married to her for 15 years), she had a boy aged 3 years, and a girl aged 1 year.

We later brought them to the UK when they were aged 7 and 9 years. We also had one son of our own. Their real dad was killed around about the time they arrived in the UK, so out of the picture after that. 

They have done really well for themselves in England (Uni degrees, good jobs, etc) and still call me dad.  Never a problem between them and their half-brother... my older son. They are brothers and sister, end of story... and very close.