Paying for Meal

[benrye27]

I should consider myself lucky because I only pay for the meal when I initiated the invite. I think this is way for my OFW friend, he's a USRN and a breadwinner. I witness him paying for everything but I think that is his way of making his family happy. 

[Arizona Kid]

On 6/21/2019 at 4:42 AM, Mark Berkowitz said:

Plus, my Filipino family has always loaned money to me whenever I hit a rough patch. 

And they will always remind you of this when they need money in the future.

[Arizona Kid]

6 hours ago, benrye27 said:

I should consider myself lucky because I only pay for the meal when I initiated the invite. I think this is way for my OFW friend, he's a USRN and a breadwinner. I witness him paying for everything but I think that is his way of making his family happy. 

Or showing off. That's what Filipinos do when the have some extra money.

[hk blues]

45 minutes ago, Arizona Kid said:

Or showing off. That's what Filipinos do when the have some extra money.

To be fair, that's the same in most places for most people but I take your point as people here tend to be much more obvious about it.  

[OzeMike]

On 6/19/2019 at 10:54 AM, Howard said:

I wish I could limit the condo numbers...never a phone call...doorbell...someone is here! I don't know what they would do if we were out of town, they come unannounced,  with no money for return trip, no food and expect to stay a week or more...Good point about the onward ticket for family members...That cost is expected also.

Family on the "2 island rule" fixes this

[Tommy T.]

14 hours ago, hk blues said:

To be fair, that's the same in most places for most people but I take your point as people here tend to be much more obvious about it.  

Millionaires for a day syndrome... I have seen that all over the Pacific Islands.

[Tommy T.]

16 hours ago, OzeMike said:

On 6/19/2019 at 10:54 AM, Howard said:

I wish I could limit the condo numbers...never a phone call...doorbell...someone is here! I don't know what they would do if we were out of town, they come unannounced,  with no money for return trip, no food and expect to stay a week or more...Good point about the onward ticket for family members...That cost is expected also.

 

This drives L nuts! She is full Filipina but is considered a bit of a renegade within her family because she wants notice before people might want to visit. She hates this Filipino custom of people just showing up uninvited, unannounced and/or unwanted.

Sometimes the visitors will help cook, clean or bring food but, more often than not, they just show up, empty-handed, expecting to stay however long they wish - as if it were a free hotel. This makes L livid however, since they are family or close friends, she lets it go but grumbles to me about it. She is looking forward to our having our own home where, since I am the "principal" owner and a westerner, she tells me everyone will be shy and not expect that.

I should add that L never visits anyone else without contacting them ahead of time to request permission and virtually never stays overnight at someone else's home. It is interesting that she has these western values and customs - and had them long before she and I met...

Whenever she or us visit another home, she (or we) always bring something - either food, drink or gifts. She tells me that is the proper etiquette, but so many don't seem to do that... That was always the common practice in USA or other places I have visited - to first, ask permission to visit then, if granted, to be sure to bring more gifts or supplies (as in beer or wine or ????). L has this exact mentality and she is a bit ostracized by friends and relatives about it...

Edited August 23, 2019 by Tommy T.

[Jack Peterson]

14 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

She is looking forward to our having our own home where, since I am the "principal" owner and a westerner, she tells me everyone will be shy and not expect that.

 If Only Tom, If only! 

[Tommy T.]

2 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

 If Only Tom, If only!

You may be right, Jack. Only time will tell... I am hopeful (and I remember what you once said about "hope").

[Mike J]

1 hour ago, Tommy T. said:

She is looking forward to our having our own home where, since I am the "principal" owner and a westerner, she tells me everyone will be shy and not expect that.

It is good to have dreams, even if they are not realistic.