Can the Filipino smell spare cash

[stevewool]

Funny thing about all the problems I have had with money and the Philippines it seems to be always the sisters in the family, the two brothers well one has never ever asked for anything , the other brother just ask for a few pesos when we are there for cigarettes, the father did ask the once to help pay for his motorbike for his work but had already worked a payment plan to return the money, so it this odd compared to others who maybe had a few problems.

[Viking]

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

 but she is a Filipino and she still carries the guilt she has been feed by her sisters, brutally honest I am and it will be sorted one way or another.

I married Emma not the family, I will help when I feel it is needed, but I will refuse to help if there are lies or no one else is prepared to help either, yes I have been caught out before a few times before and I have learnt, just hope Emma is learning too, we shall see.

 

She will Always be a Filipino at heart Steve, but living in another country for a long time can actually make her see that things can be done in other and better ways.

My woman was just like Emma but she think differently now 

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

She is one in a million and I love her as much as she loves me, I can see the frustration and anger in her face , 35 years living with the family and being the youngest sister and also working and caring for the sisters children the claws are buried deep inside her.

The money well it’s the  principle thing in my eyes , West meets East in what’s right or what’s wrong

It´s not easy for Emma in a situation like this, give her some time, but make it clear that you will not change your opinion.

Who decide what´s right and wrong?

Well, when I provide the money it´s my rules or they can look elsewere for help 

 

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

Funny thing about all the problems I have had with money and the Philippines it seems to be always the sisters in the family, the two brothers well one has never ever asked for anything , the other brother just ask for a few pesos when we are there for cigarettes, the father did ask the once to help pay for his motorbike for his work but had already worked a payment plan to return the money, so it this odd compared to others who maybe had a few problems.

Women are Always the worst, lol.

It´s actually also my wifes sister that been causing most of our trouble, the brothers, almost nothing. Luckily she have only one sister.

The guilt feeding is what I hate the most !!!!

[hk blues]

On 11/22/2019 at 2:06 PM, Dave Hounddriver said:

Or else what?  If she leaves I bet she takes half his assets anyway.  They live in UK so he's screwed.

Yeah Dave, I know my wording was rather extreme ...I just think Steve needs to address the part of the problem he can i.e. his partner.  

[stevewool]

Well great news the money has been returned and all of it too, the father in law went to collect it yesterday and he has confirmed he has it, yes it’s over a week later then was so called promised it would be returned but I am still convinced if it was not for me getting involved it would have been a gift in there eyes.

Anyway it’s all sorted Emma has realised I hope after this experience plus it has helped knowing what other things has happened between her father and now her sisters child has borrowed money for her grandad and has not given it back yet, in fact that upset Emma more then what we have been though, straight on the phone telling her niece why is she doing this and to make sure the money is returned , Emma even sent a message to her sister asking did she know, but no message back yet, funny that.

Anyway I am a happy it’s all sorted out my end and thank you everyone who has  commented on this thread , until the next time .

[stevewool]

I thought I may as well just add this bit, I mentioned that the sister is not contacting Emma, and yes she has fell out with her and will not talk ever again.

The sister told Emma she is more British now and has forgot about family tradition and all the help that she was given from the family before moving to Britain, you are rich and it’s your duty to help everyone in the family no matter what, Emma did give it back about lazy partners,a little harsh I thought especially what Emma has told me about her life growing up before I came along, it sounded more like they had a sister working as a slave , help the family we would if help was needed , give money to them when there partners don’t work ,well you are not helping at all you are just prolonging the problem, family traditions world wide are nice , all meeting up, eating together , holidays together plus caring for one another even if you have strong words , but what’s gone wrong in the family that I was invited into, Unique is the word.

[Old55]

Three Island Rule comes to mind Steve. 

[Balisidar]

I always tell my wife to tell them we have no spare cash (pretty much true) and if they keep bugging her I tell her to let them talk to me.  They don't ask for money much any more though.  My wife got burned by this many years ago and told them that she's not lending any more money, especially to the lazy ones.😁😁😂

[Tommy T.]

How many times must it be stated? In the island nations, especially Philippines, a loan should be considered a gift by the lender, especially if it is to family or close friends. Either you give thinking that or don't do it.

And money issues easily drive families apart when you have the lazy ones seeing a sibling married to or associated with a foreigner.

Edited November 27, 2019 by Tommy T.

[Old55]

Theres a cultural obligation in that well off or better off family are expected to "help" those that are less fortunate. I have no clue the intricacies of this expectation. Supporting elderly parents basic needs is understandable. The reminder were able to survive without monthly "support" before we met our wife or GF.

When dating turns serious we all should have had "that talk" religion children and support to family. Not that it would make much difference in most cases. 

[Mike J]

1 hour ago, Old55 said:

Theres a cultural obligation in that well off or better off family are expected to "help" those that are less fortunate. I have no clue the intricacies of this expectation. Supporting elderly parents basic needs is understandable. The reminder were able to survive without monthly "support" before we met our wife or GF.

When dating turns serious we all should have had "that talk" religion children and support to family. Not that it would make much difference in most cases. 

Could not have said it better myself.  Also recommend reading the book "Culture Shock - Philippines".  When you marry a Filipina you marry into a family and that can be mixed blessing.