Can a leopard change its spots

[Lou49]

The house project is a holiday home for when ever we want to come here, and now I have learnt that don’t come on birthdays, Christmas and new yearned other school holidays the rest of the year may work out fine for me. 

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Who will house sit when you are away? Will they vacate when you return?😂

[gery0x]

@stevewool I can totally feel you; back in my early expat-days I once (but only ONCE) had it that around 20 relatives besieged my house not only on new year's eve but until January-3 or 4.

Loud karaoke-singing 24/7, doors slamming, lights not being turned off, empty bottles and cigarette butts in between my garden plants, you name it......

And then somebody (some of them I never even saw their faces before) crapped into my toilet without flushing - I assume that they were confused because I don't have a Tabo next to my holy throne haha.

That was when I snapped and kicked everybody out at 3 in the morning! Those who were with children could stay the night of course, but the rest "f**k off"!!!

Ever since then we spend our new year's eves alone at home or in some beach resort (they can mess that place up, not my problem).

 

Not to say that the relatives of my wife are degenerate bums or something of that sort, they are not at all. But *imho* sometimes the Pinoys need a strict and loud "NO!" - especially when it concerns your own home and when multiple lines are being crossed at a time.

 

These are things that will come back again and again when you're living here, it really never gets boring in the Philippines!

Anyway, I can assure you that every single expat - no matter how long he or she lived here - comes across those states of mind from time to time.

And your venting is more than appreciated here, hang in there mate, it's a crazy world out there!

[Heeb]

I’ve been experiencing the same problems, there’s always someone cooking and offering me food when I’m not hungry. I try to be polite but they don’t give up, I’m saying “no thanks I don’t want any rice” for the sixth time but in my mind I’m screaming NO I DON’T WANT ANY F.@“ING RICE. I’m learning to just walk away or ride my bike just about when they are finishing the meal. The other problem I have and It’s probably my fault because I’m not a very social person is feeling very uncomfortable at family gatherings. I don’t really have anyone to talk to and I don’t know where to rest my eyes without appearing to be staring at a pretty lady, and the noise and dancing and talking louder than necessary, and just so many kids everywhere. 

[stevewool]

10 hours ago, Lou49 said:

The house project is a holiday home for when ever we want to come here, and now I have learnt that don’t come on birthdays, Christmas and new yearned other school holidays the rest of the year may work out fine for me. 

.............................

Who will house sit when you are away? Will they vacate when you return?😂

There is a upstairs and downstairs, the downstairs is home for the father in law and brother, the upstairs is ours , so the house is occupied all the time sort of, when we are not here I have no idea who will be sleeping in our room with a blow up bed  and using our bathroom , but the doors have very good locks on and having no furniture as of yet in the rest of our house , I dont really want to know , but the next time we come back , it better be in the same condition as we left it , that I have already told Ems , spare keys will be left with the father in law just in case he needs to get into the rooms.

[stevewool]

Again thanks boys , and here is me thinking I was the odd one out, I am learning and like a few of you have said ‘tell them’ and I have , we shall see what happens over the next few days , off on a vacation soon for a few days here and there to blow away the cobwebs plus my first time at driving a car here, wish me luck.

[gery0x]

4 minutes ago, stevewool said:

and here is me thinking I was the odd one out, I am learning and like a few of you have said ‘tell them’ and I have

Oh no you're by far not the only one, haha!

Yep it's true, sometimes you just need to 'tell them'.

I think the own mental sanity is more important than any "loss of face" once in a while!

 

5 minutes ago, stevewool said:

my first time at driving a car here, wish me luck

Just always remember to stay on the right side of the track, not the left one! Joke lang

 

Enjoy your vacation mate, it will do good to you!

[Gary D]

7 hours ago, gery0x said:

Oh no you're by far not the only one, haha!

Yep it's true, sometimes you just need to 'tell them'.

I think the own mental sanity is more important than any "loss of face" once in a while!

 

Just always remember to stay on the right side of the track, not the left one! Joke lang

 

Enjoy your vacation mate, it will do good to you!

Around here they regularly use both sides.

[Mike J]

11 hours ago, Heeb said:

I’ve been experiencing the same problems, there’s always someone cooking and offering me food when I’m not hungry. I try to be polite but they don’t give up, I’m saying “no thanks I don’t want any rice” for the sixth time but in my mind I’m screaming NO I DON’T WANT ANY F.@“ING RICE

They may think you are just being polite so they, in turn, are being polite to offer again.  Try saying "No thank you, I am busog" then pat your stomach and give a thumbs up.  Busog means you are already eaten your fill and are full.  I am a light eater and this works well for me.  People then know that I am not just being polite and they will often smile because I know the word busog.

[Heeb]

1 hour ago, Mike J said:

They may think you are just being polite so they, in turn, are being polite to offer again.  Try saying "No thank you, I am busog" then pat your stomach and give a thumbs up.  Busog means you are already eaten your fill and are full.  I am a light eater and this works well for me.  People then know that I am not just being polite and they will often smile because I know the word busog.

Well I just typed a big long rant and erased it because I’m trying not to let negativity consume me, thanks for the advise I’ll try it.

Edited January 4, 2020 by Heeb

[Tommy T.]

4 hours ago, Mike J said:

They may think you are just being polite so they, in turn, are being polite to offer again.  Try saying "No thank you, I am busog" then pat your stomach and give a thumbs up.  Busog means you are already eaten your fill and are full.  I am a light eater and this works well for me.  People then know that I am not just being polite and they will often smile because I know the word busog.

I think you are the one who mentioned that on another thread.

I use that word at family gatherings and it works brilliantly! The family members offering smile, nod their heads and laugh a bit. They are pleased when I use any local language - even just a word here and there. But "busog" is magic! Thanks, Mike!