There is no need to talk to me like that

[hk blues]

20 hours ago, stevewool said:

Well I have worked hard all my life to get this far and I have not earned enough to keep lazy buggers and if a kid/ young adult has not been taught any manners when they are  in my company they will learn them , sorry but  somethings  you can change to keep the peace but I too have morels , just saying 

I'm not saying you should spend any of your hard earned on them, I'm saying they expect you to.  And if you don't, you and yours will face troubles - is it fair - No, but it's reality for many foreigners here.  

As for teaching manners, with all due respect that is certainly going to land you in hot water anywhere, never mind here.  IMO. 

[hk blues]

17 hours ago, Viking said:

Perfect, nothing to complain about, hahahaha

Just as HK said, they see things in different ways than we do, but in OUR house it is OUR rules! If they don´t like it, they can stay away because we dont force them to come.

Yes, of course.  But, who makes up the "Our" - you and your parner?  If so, do you really agree the rules or is there a gap?  I know my rules and I know my wife's but they are not always the same.  

[stevewool]

32 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I'm not saying you should spend any of your hard earned on them, I'm saying they expect you to.  And if you don't, you and yours will face troubles - is it fair - No, but it's reality for many foreigners here.  

As for teaching manners, with all due respect that is certainly going to land you in hot water anywhere, never mind here.  IMO. 

I do understand where you are coming from about the family , and about facing some sort of trouble, they don’t speak to me and they then choose  to not to speak to there sister , I can handle that, but it’s hard for Ems , when we are the other side of the world it’s a little easy as we are busy doing things , but here for Emma has to be part of the family , we are all different in how we act and how we would like be treated and I am sure there are many happy united families from different countries enjoying time together without them thinking that you should pay for most things , share things I am all for and even pay that little extra when the need happens .

Manners well I was brought up with my Ps and Qs and at my age I still use them everyday , but I have had to learn Emma when she first came to England about saying thank you, so it could be a Filipino thing .

[stevewool]

41 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Yes, of course.  But, who makes up the "Our" - you and your parner?  If so, do you really agree the rules or is there a gap?  I know my rules and I know my wife's but they are not always the same.  

My rules , they are not coming for dinner, Her rules no they are coming to see us, later on it’s did you enjoy your dinner see you again soon byeeeeeee.

[Viking]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

Yes, of course.  But, who makes up the "Our" - you and your parner?  If so, do you really agree the rules or is there a gap?  I know my rules and I know my wife's but they are not always the same.  

Maybe I am lucky, but my wife and I agree on these things.

Strange isn´t it, since we disagree on many other things 

[Jack Peterson]

11 minutes ago, Viking said:

Maybe I am lucky, but my wife and I agree on these things.

In this House we have Her rules and our rules  Guess what rules apply in the main? 

[hk blues]

57 minutes ago, stevewool said:

I do understand where you are coming from about the family , and about facing some sort of trouble, they don’t speak to me and they then choose  to not to speak to there sister , I can handle that, but it’s hard for Ems , when we are the other side of the world it’s a little easy as we are busy doing things , but here for Emma has to be part of the family , we are all different in how we act and how we would like be treated and I am sure there are many happy united families from different countries enjoying time together without them thinking that you should pay for most things , share things I am all for and even pay that little extra when the need happens .

Manners well I was brought up with my Ps and Qs and at my age I still use them everyday , but I have had to learn Emma when she first came to England about saying thank you, so it could be a Filipino thing .

That's what I'm trying to say, Steve.  You may be cool with being ostracised by the family here, but your wife won't be - family is important everywhere but it has an added dimension here with the responsibility thing added in.

Manners - we're from a similar generation and culture so we'ere on the same page but we have to remember where we are and that people here may not share the same thoughts as us.  Our home, our rules but their country, their rules! 

[RBM]

Steve if the situation flares up and becomes, well,  kinda hard to deal with, there is a cure.

Shoot down to Jollibee and buy them  a huge box of their best, I guarantee all issues will be resolved.

[stevewool]

1 hour ago, RBM said:

Steve if the situation flares up and becomes, well,  kinda hard to deal with, there is a cure.

Shoot down to Jollibee and buy them  a huge box of their best, I guarantee all issues will be resolved.

I wonder if that’s what there are after all this time and I am not on there wavelength, I did go down to jollibee with Ems but we ate in , I bet that really peed them off.

[stevewool]

Well folks I have listened and read lots of good advice from many folk on here and I thought ok let’s have another shot of this family thing and yesterday evening gave me the opportunity.

The bro in law was again talking to Emma and again it sounded like world war 3 was about to start so I just listened as he always talks in Tagalog, anyway I just listened and I could make out the odd few words like the house , his cleaning and no pay from myself and Emma for him keeping the house clean for over 6 years .

Anyway after he went outside I asked Emma what was that about and yes he wants paying and he is angry about the way I said  his cleaning is not very good, so I waited until he came in and I mentioned let’s talk as a family because I am part of this family but you choose not to speak to me in English so how can we talk , anyway we talked about the house and his 6 years of cleaning but the house was only started 4 years ago and upstairs last November till now so it’s his mess so it should be cleaned and yes his cleaning is not to my liking , he has a mop and powder and cleaning cloths ,but the mop is to heavy and hurst his arms so he would rather wipe the floor with a wet rag using his feet, but the same wet rag cleans everything else and the same cold water, so no pay is coming from me plus you live here what do you contribute, no answer .

Then he got onto how clever he is and at school he was the most clever person who mastered English and the teachers use to ask him things, yet he will not speak English to me, then he mentioned that god will provide everything for him and then he was preaching about how the world runs and there is a better being then us and how the Filipino heart is better then any other people as it’s pure not like the west and on and on it went.

Well I did managed to get a few words in , like I disagree with you about this and that and I also thrown in he should become a preacher because he can talk the talk , the bloke is a brick short it’s as simple as that.

I tried but I failed so today it’s back to normal he comes out his room brushes the floor that Emma had just done , then grunts to Emma about what’s cooking , gets a plate of food then it’s back in his room.

I have washed my hands of this person , just like the other lazy bro in laws who also don’t  like work , will it effect my last few weeks here not really , will it effect my life once back in England , not at all.

So there you have it, I listened to lots of advice from many and I got of my high horse to give it a go but to no avail  .

PS , Emma did day afterwards that’s how he is all the time and that’s why no one would employ him because he thinks he is better then everyone.