Asawa Ko Issues - The Novela

[GeoffH]

7 hours ago, graham59 said:

At some point SOMEBODY is going to have to take care of you !

It's going to be hard to find trustworthy long term care in the Philippines that you won't at some point be able to oversee yourself, it's hard enough in a first world country.

This is a difficult situation to give advice on 

 

[Gary D]

9 hours ago, Guy F. said:

Kawasan Falls in Cebu Province, or Kawasan Falls in Bohol Province?

Cebu

[Tommy T.]

14 hours ago, ITGeek said:

It's been my understanding that while I can't own the land, I could get a 25 year lease and own the building on the land.  Not unless the laws have changed (again).

As I said in an earlier post, ITG, that is exactly the case. I am having a new home built right now on leased land. I forget the lease duration, but it is certainly beyond my life's duration. A foreigner can own any and all improvements on the land, but just cannot own the land. There are some creative ways to sort the land part out which I will not go into here...

If I can offer a suggestion?

As also mentioned in previous posts by others above, I think it is imperative that you have someone you can trust implicitly to care for you here if your situation deteriorates. You might also consider a "bail-out" plan if things don't work out so well - as in repatriation.

Do not reply to my question now as it is rhetorical... but do you have someone you can trust in USA who can manage things for your future life? Think now about wills and other legal documents that may come into effect due to possible incapacity. Close friends, relatives? It might be wise to consult a lawyer in USA and also one here in Philippines regarding these things?

I am currently in the process of doing exactly that, even though I am healthy now. I never know if tomorrow I may be hit by a bus or die from one of these nasty viruses, or food poisoning? 

[RBM]

18 hours ago, ITGeek said:

It's been my understanding that while I can't own the land, I could get a 25 year lease and own the building on the land.  Not unless the laws have changed (again).

It's my considered opinion your priority is to find a rental away from an obviously money grabbing family. Not concern yourself  or even think about the complexities of property ownership here.

One does not need a Filipina to take from your posts your wife has sided against you an will undoubtedly  be following the families advice, especially on finances.

Best get out yesterday......endure a short term absence from your child for your own well being. Current situation is untenable and will worsen. 

[Mick]

18 hours ago, graham59 said:

 You're on ignore. 

I also predict that you will lose a lot of money in the Philippines.  Remember I said that.  

You think...... What has that to do with changing the ops subject..... 

[Arizona Kid]

On 2/17/2020 at 7:58 PM, graham59 said:

Maybe after they've worked the 50 years that I did to qualify for my pension, they will be entitled to an opinion on the matter. 

I could not have said it better. 

[ITGeek]

On 2/18/2020 at 10:21 PM, graham59 said:

 You're on ignore. 

I also predict that you will lose a lot of money in the Philippines.  Remember I said that.  

Off topic, not nearly as much money s my 401k and stocks lost in post-2001 and in 2008-2010.  I'm talking six figures (40-60% wiped out).  Having 2 CPA's in my family helped me take a more conservative approach in budgeting, investing and saving money for my retirement.  The only government pension I receive is SSDI, meanwhile my father receives both military and CA state pensions and lives like a king in an upscale retirement community in Callifornia.  My 64 yo brother (also CPA) lives in Sedona, AZ, both him and his wife frequently travel throughout the world checking off items on their bucket list.

Not sure if the bolded statement in your quote is direceted at me. Yes, I've lost money both in the US and here in the Philippines.  However, I have also made a lot of money in the US and will prove you wrong about losing "a lot of money in the Philippines."  Are you speaking from personal experience or projecting?

Remember that no amount of money can ever buy true happiness.  

[ITGeek]

On 2/18/2020 at 10:27 PM, graham59 said:

Yes, I understand that about swimming (good exercise...easy on the joints,etc).  I like to swim myself. 

More to the point, if you have early onset dementia, I'd be looking at your future SAFETY...in all aspects of your life. 

At some point SOMEBODY is going to have to take care of you !

Thank you Capt. Obvious.

I went through therapy sessions back in the US to help me cope with life with this diseases.  Having been a strong independent and adventurous person most of my life I was in total denial.  It's following the same treatment as those with grief and loss.  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance  Asawa ko didn't take any classes as recommended by UST Neurology department.  So I must take care of myself first.

Yes that I completely understand my disease will progressively get worse eventually to the point to where i'm not functional for everyday activities.  Since asawa ko at sila pamilya aren't doing their part in that aspect, I move on to plan B and take care of myself first.

Even my Filipina Neurologist agrees family compounds have much drama and are high stress, especially for foreigners.  My US family says i can rent a 20k/mo nice secure bahay and hire a part-fulltime care giver to assist me easily as par of my  a $1500-1700 USD monthly budget. That's about half of what I'm currently spending and also includes saving of about 25k/mo for emergencies in that budget.  In addition, I have trust funds in the US under worst situation, apply to trustee to make an early withdraw.

I'll be brutally honest with you.  I read your comments and your portray yourself as either being arrogant, condescending or most likely an unhappy old man who isn't enjoying his life.  You appear to get enjoyment out of insulting others and those that are less fortunate than you.  I'm sure you'd make a great politician or corporate CEO.  Once common theme they all exhibit are some part of the narcissism personality disorder spectrum.

Unless you have constructive suggestions or solutions to OP, rather than "holier than thou" attitude posts, your off topic.  Someone in this thread earlier referred to a famous Mark Twain quote: "Better to remain silent and be an idiot, then speak and remove all doubt". 

In layman's terms, people like you used to be known as bullies in school.  "And that's all I have to say about that" - Forrest Gump

Edited February 20, 2020 by ITGeek
correction

[Snowy79]

I've just caught up in this thread and from my observations in the Philippines I'd say a nice few ex pat friends are the one thing in life you are going to need as obviously your partner has chucked the towel in.  I'd be dropping hints that you are seriously contemplating moving to an area where medical assistance is more suitable and that obviously you'll have to down size.  

This may make your partner sit up and take more notice of you or it could make her family pressurize her into taking more care.  Blood is thicker than water but money is a better lubricant.  They won't like to see their cash cow head off into the sunset.

The ex pat friends part is very important as a few seriously ill foreigners that I've known it's been foreigners who have ultimately stepped in and assisted their friends in sorting out medical and dare I say it informing distant families and their Embassies of issues. 

You're an intelligent man and I'm sure are aware what later stages of dementia are like.  I'd hate to be stuck in a loveless relationship where it's only your money they are after. You may end up a prisoner and not a well looked after one at that.

Head for the hills.  Somewhere civilised with access to carers, even within the catchment area of a nursing college and you'll have plenty of potential carers willing to assist you and start mixing with a few foreigners even just for a coffee and peace of mind. It will only get worse and you'll be less likely to find your own help the longer you drag things out. 

[Eddie1]

15 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

I've just caught up in this thread and from my observations in the Philippines I'd say a nice few ex pat friends are the one thing in life you are going to need as obviously your partner has chucked the towel in.  I'd be dropping hints that you are seriously contemplating moving to an area where medical assistance is more suitable and that obviously you'll have to down size.  

This may make your partner sit up and take more notice of you or it could make her family pressurize her into taking more care.  Blood is thicker than water but money is a better lubricant.  They won't like to see their cash cow head off into the sunset.

The ex pat friends part is very important as a few seriously ill foreigners that I've known it's been foreigners who have ultimately stepped in and assisted their friends in sorting out medical and dare I say it informing distant families and their Embassies of issues. 

You're an intelligent man and I'm sure are aware what later stages of dementia are like.  I'd hate to be stuck in a loveless relationship where it's only your money they are after. You may end up a prisoner and not a well looked after one at that.

Head for the hills.  Somewhere civilised with access to carers, even within the catchment area of a nursing college and you'll have plenty of potential carers willing to assist you and start mixing with a few foreigners even just for a coffee and peace of mind. It will only get worse and you'll be less likely to find your own help the longer you drag things out. 

Great post Snowy, absolutely nailed it in my book.