Asawa Ko Issues - The Novela

[Eddie1]

2 hours ago, RBM said:

  16 hours ago, Arizona Kid said:

What is the nature of your disability? Is it mental? You just bragged about how much money that your relatives make. Yet you, like a leach, receive disability benefits that you haven't earned. Family can't take care of you? Maybe they don't want you around! I'm tired of people like you that think they deserve what they don't. Kiss my donkey! 

What a truly disgusting post.  I see the post has now been removed, GOOD!   I think it's about time 'Arizona Kid' is removed from this forum permanently. 

[Eddie1]

1 hour ago, Tommy T. said:

Unless you are referring to a distant relative?

I don't know for sure any more than you do Tommy, but I assume he meant a distant relative, certainly not his wife if she became sick. 

[OnMyWay]

31 minutes ago, Eddie1 said:

I don't know for sure any more than you do Tommy, but I assume he meant a distant relative, certainly not his wife if she became sick. 

to add, and I don't mean to speak for him, but most people would be referring back to practices in their home country, and they may have good state sponsored old folks homes in his country.

In the U.S., people tend to not take care of their elderly family, except with some money.  Much different than the Philippines and other Asian countries where elderly get more respect.

[Tommy T.]

9 minutes ago, OnMyWay said:

to add, and I don't mean to speak for him, but most people would be referring back to practices in their home country, and they may have good state sponsored old folks homes in his country.

In the U.S., people tend to not take care of their elderly family, except with some money.  Much different than the Philippines and other Asian countries where elderly get more respect.

I am sure you and Eddie are probably right. I just read that comment and it hit me wrong. There is something warming about how the Filipinos tend to take care of the Oldies rather than farm them out to institutions. I am sure a lot of that has to do with cost, but also there is much more binding within families here than in some other places.

At least that's my observation so far, after over four years here.

But still... after seeing "retirement" homes or "old folks" homes, they do look very sad (even the better and out-of-my-price-range types) when compared to the possibility of living at home or with relative's care. It is a bit of a conundrum and I am not looking forward to either future...

Edited February 22, 2020 by Tommy T.

[GeoffH]

26 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

But still... after seeing "retirement" homes or "old folks" homes, they do look very sad (even the better and out-of-my-price-range types) when compared to the possibility of living at home or with relative's care. It is a bit of a conundrum and I am not looking forward to either future...

 

My ex's father (nice guy) was diagnosed with dementia (along with liver and kidney problems) and was admitted to an Australian aged care facility.

It was one of the better ones, modern, clean, decent staff and good facilities.  And it was ok... sort of... very institutional and regimented but if you still were able to get yourself to the common area or on the small bus to the outings it wasn't sooo bad.

But that was the low care section... the high care section was full of people who couldn't get out of bed, who couldn't change themselves or wash themselves or feed themselves.  And a lot couldn't even talk any more. 

Listening to a woman moaning inconherently for hours sometimes breaking out in screams... simply because her mind was so gone that she no longer recognized... anything or understood what was happening... it was truly horrible.

She'd been like that for almost 2 years I was told.  They said "sometimes she stops because her voice won't work after a while, but then after a short break she always starts up again.  And they're not allowed to use large amounts of sedation anymore, under the new rules.

I'd choose being dead a hundred times over rather than ending like that...

 

 

Edited February 22, 2020 by GeoffH

[Tommy T.]

4 minutes ago, GeoffH said:

I'd choose being dead a hundred times over rather than ending like that...

 

Yeah... That's what I was referring to earlier - my ex's grandmother was in a state institution and there was at least one or more just lying in their beds oblivious to the world and surroundings and simply howling or moaning with eyes closed... Horrible for them and made me feel very sick at heart.

Seriously... shoot me first. Or kill me with overdose of opioids so I have a sweet dream when dying... When my time comes, I want it sudden or, at least, with a bit of dignity.

Edited February 22, 2020 by Tommy T.

[hk blues]

3 hours ago, Tommy T. said:

Really, HK? Sorry, but that sounds a bit cold to me. Unless you are referring to a distant relative? From your comment, if your wife becomes ill, you won't care for her? Or am I missing something here?

I have visited state run facilities and would prefer to be killed outright rather than live like that - non-life in an institution.

For goodness sake, Tom!

Yes, you are missing something - common sense in this case. Of course I would take care of my wife should she need it, my son too, IF it was within my capability to do so. The bigger question which you have failed to recognise is do I have both the financial means and/or professional skills and knowledge to do so? Do you? I won't get into where I'd draw the line on who I should take care of as it's irrelevant. 

I too have visited state-run facilities for those in need - they varied in quality but none of them were so bad as to suggest death would be a better option. I'm sorry your experiences have been different.

At least AK, or someone else, had the good sense to remove their offending post. 

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, Tommy T. said:

I am sure you and Eddie are probably right. I just read that comment and it hit me wrong. 

It wouldn't have if you had not only read it but thought about it too.

[Tommy T.]

26 minutes ago, hk blues said:

At least AK, or someone else, had the good sense to remove their offending post. 

I see... Sorry for offense, HK... not intended... I just did not understand your post properly, I guess...

Edited February 22, 2020 by Tommy T.

[GeoffH]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

none of them were so bad as to suggest death would be a better option. I'm sorry your experiences have been different.

I suspect it is more about the quality of life for the person rather than the quality of the intitution, the example I gave was a middle class to upper middle class private aged care facility (the ex's father paid a lump sum of almost $300,000 for access and a substantial weekly fee) and yet despite all the knowledge, all the facilities and good will on behalf of the staff nothing could be done for the woman I chose as an example (or many others in similar situations).  The only reason I knew of her situation was only recently had she been deemed in need of 2nd level high care and was going to be shifted soon to a closed upper floor ward where every patient was in as bad a condition or perhaps worse than her.

It would be my personal wish, if I was in that situation, to be either drugged into insensibility most of the day (except for feeding/cleaning) or to be able to access euthanasia.  Of course even in places where it's available it's normally restricted in such a way that a patient in that condition wouldn't qualifty/

My home state of Victoria has euthanasia laws but you need to be of sound mind and able to express your will on the matter as a first step and by the time you're like that woman your mind is far past that state.  And before you get to that state you wouldn't qualify because you're not sick enough.  Catch 22.

It used to be the case that patients in such situations were regularly heavily sedated but do gooders (with the best of intentions) convinced governments to change the law, and that was a mistake in my book.

Edited February 22, 2020 by GeoffH