Finding the right one online

[roddavis]

1 hour ago, Marvin Boggs said:

Freebie reminded me of something.  To each his own, but I don't get these long drawn-out online relationships.  We know several Filipinas with western 'boyfriends' who they may never meet, or the promise is always in the future, etc.  As a man, I was not interested in stringing along a relationship without quickly meeting face to face.  How else could I be sure of the chemistry, or that it was not one giant scam?  No offense to those of you who chatted online for 10 months before ever meeting your girl.  Sounds like some of you had whole file folders and spreadsheets full of girls, heheh, so whatever works.  

What I tell all my buds looking for a mate here. If you ever hear 1 or both  (I need........ or I want......) . Run. and run fast! or like I used on my Asawa before we got married and you finally see them face to face. When going to the mall I ask" Do you need something, like clothes ? How about do want some jewelry?" What I got in reply was I don't need that ! Ding went the bell in my head. We've been married 28 years now! 

[hk blues]

7 minutes ago, roddavis said:

What I tell all my buds looking for a mate here. If you ever hear 1 or both  (I need........ or I want......) . Run. and run fast! or like I used on my Asawa before we got married and you finally see them face to face. When going to the mall I ask" Do you need something, like clothes ? How about do want some jewelry?" What I got in reply was I don't need that ! Ding went the bell in my head. We've been married 28 years now! 

I met my wife in Hong Kong.  Now, I know that there will already be differences between a Filipina working overseas and one in the Philippines, but it is what it is.  I genuinely didn't approach the relationship any differently than I would with any other girlfriend  - no initial suspicion or particularly watching for tell-tale clues.  I took the view that it will all come out in the wash IF you keep your wits about you so why go looking for something that may not be there.  

[Snowy79]

This pretty much sums a lot of dating sites up these days. 

[elmo1982]

On 3/3/2020 at 12:18 AM, Gary D said:

Middle class filipinas don't need to marry a foreigner so you are unlikely to find them on online dating. You need to understand why filipinas are attracted to foreigners, it's either to scam them or get out of their desperate lifestyle. Also the reason they want children is because they believe is cements the relationship and you would take better care of them. At the end of the day they are mostly after your money, not always in a bad way, apart from the scammers, but for the security that goes with it. 

I get that and it seems to me this is also why they usually accept large age gaps. Because I asked a Filipina what's the average age gap between Filipino couples - she meant around 3-5 years if I remember correctly :D

But I have met some middle class Filipinas with good jobs as well so I believe it may be hard to find, but not impossible. It's always a good sign for me when they pay for their food by themselves :D

[elmo1982]

@Jack D

Well, I start to chat on the platform, then I change to WhatsApp if it goes well. If the communication is really good, I would try video chat. But never happened yet.

@Freebie

A typical conversation would go like this:

Me: I'm x from y. I like your profile, would you like to get to know each other...etc.

Her: Hello.

M: How are you? How did you spend your weekend?

H: I'm good.

M: What is your job?

H: I work in the supermarket..

---

This happens to me all the time. Their replies are so short and meaningless that there is nothing in their messages you can really pick up on. And most of the time, they don't ask anything back. So almost every communication will end after a few messages. I'm totally lost there. I don't mind stopping a boring conversation, but when there's no one left after that, I've got a problem.

@Marvin Boggs

That approach would be useless to me. I would be planning to visit her on my next trip which is max. within one year (already a long time though), but it seems that time is needed to find someone.

Of course, I would prefer to meet in person to get to know her better over a long-distance relationship, but I'm in my 30's and still have a job.

[Old55]

Are you contacting young very attractive Filipina’s? Nothing wrong with that but could explain why the one word answers? Do they know you don’t plan to visit for a year?

[Balisidar]

Hi,

I've never been into the online dating scene but a few of my wife's nieces join Facebook groups to meet foreigners.  No fees or anything like a lot of the dating sites.

But I'm sure the same cautions apply as other posters have mentioned.

Good luck.

[elmo1982]

On 3/6/2020 at 7:22 PM, Old55 said:

Are you contacting young very attractive Filipina’s? Nothing wrong with that but could explain why the one word answers? Do they know you don’t plan to visit for a year?

Well, guilty as charged. My age filter is currently set from 23 to 32. You should suppose that you can have a decent conversation with someone in their late 20's, but as you are probably indicating, they get swamped with messages.

And no, they don't know what my travel plans and they are not fixed yet anyway.

[Old55]

36 minutes ago, elmo1982 said:

Well, guilty as charged. My age filter is currently set from 23 to 32. You should suppose that you can have a decent conversation with someone in their late 20's, but as you are probably indicating, they get swamped with messages.

And no, they don't know what my travel plans and they are not fixed yet anyway.

Yea, that could be the case they have a lot of ongoing interest or looking for $$$? On the other hand some could simply be shy?

Again nothing wrong you're filtering to younger gals not judging you. 

 

[Gary D]

3 hours ago, Old55 said:

Yea, that could be the case they have a lot of ongoing interest or looking for $$$? On the other hand some could simply be shy?

Again nothing wrong you're filtering to younger gals not judging you. 

 

Girls in the Philippines seem to mature later then their equivalent in the west. We have several nieces in the early twenties and they are little more like children.

Edited March 8, 2020 by Gary D