protracted correspondence

[Snowy79]

Dating sites are just like the menu in a restaurant, you only know the real food once it's infront of you.  A long drawn out correspondance can certainly make things easier but it's not the be all and end all.  The usual rule of thumb about kicking any girl to the kerb side that asks for money will become more apparent the longer you get to know them, and the longer correspondance may help to get to know her family and friends via other social media. 

Facebook gives a better window into the soul of a girl.  The amount of girls I know as good friends to talk to but can't hold a boyfriend is surprising until you look at their Facebook accounts, many have more drama going on than a Filipino soap.  Some absolute psychos out there that are lovely to chat to for a few minutes per day but spending 24/7 with them opens up a whole new World.  

[Mick]

19 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

Dating sites are just like the menu in a restaurant, you only know the real food once it's infront of you.  A long drawn out correspondance can certainly make things easier but it's not the be all and end all.  The usual rule of thumb about kicking any girl to the kerb side that asks for money will become more apparent the longer you get to know them, and the longer correspondance may help to get to know her family and friends via other social media. 

Facebook gives a better window into the soul of a girl.  The amount of girls I know as good friends to talk to but can't hold a boyfriend is surprising until you look at their Facebook accounts, many have more drama going on than a Filipino soap.  Some absolute psychos out there that are lovely to chat to for a few minutes per day but spending 24/7 with them opens up a whole new World.  

Agree with all that. But why in this day and age are people writing mails,  if I was looking, It would be straight to video chat, make sure the picture is who they say it is, you learn a lot more I'm sure on face to face video than messages and mails, and If you can't be arsed to waste time talking to her for a few months, your going to be in for one hell of shock when you finally meet, remember these girls are talking to lots and lots and lots of men at the same time, me and a mate sometimes when drunk and in the mood, (he likes the online girls) , I will send the girl a message who he is chatting too, and we both talk to her at the same time, can be some really funny outcomes when you see how they play the men... 

[Mike J]

1 hour ago, peterfe said:

Well, yes, red flags indeed... This woman who the Englishman met only briefly in March and has been chatting with him ever since has only just recently told him that she has four children. I think you should be upfront about things like that, in fact that's one of the advantages of dating sites. The important practical details are there for you to see before you even start writing. 

And of course those practical details on dating sites are always accurate so no need to waste time by asking again or follow up on via chat.  

[AusExpat]

4 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

Facebook gives a better window into the soul of a girl.  The amount of girls I know as good friends to talk to but can't hold a boyfriend is surprising until you look at their Facebook accounts, many have more drama going on than a Filipino soap.  Some absolute psychos out there that are lovely to chat to for a few minutes per day but spending 24/7 with them opens up a whole new World.  

Except the 'players' usually have multiple accounts as they know this.

I'd say it depends upon if you're after a fling or marriage. The longer you know someone,even chatting, I think it'd help in the latter. I'd also think if you've been here a bunch of times OP's method would be more practicable and likely the course I'd chose if I were single again. Newcomers will ned to lear nas much as they can to avoid 'Ed' like situations.

Then of course lots of guys are stuck in a lockdown with little else to do.

[Snowy79]

4 hours ago, Mick said:

Agree with all that. But why in this day and age are people writing mails,  if I was looking, It would be straight to video chat, make sure the picture is who they say it is, you learn a lot more I'm sure on face to face video than messages and mails, and If you can't be arsed to waste time talking to her for a few months, your going to be in for one hell of shock when you finally meet, remember these girls are talking to lots and lots and lots of men at the same time, me and a mate sometimes when drunk and in the mood, (he likes the online girls) , I will send the girl a message who he is chatting too, and we both talk to her at the same time, can be some really funny outcomes when you see how they play the men... 

I agree with the playing men bit.  I had two friends in a similar relationship.  They'd talk about their girl and after a few weeks they realised it was the same person. They found out by accident when they were saying that their girlfriend was always busy on certain days. It turned out the days were when she was seeing the other one. 

They sat together and started playing her. One had arranged to go out for a meal and stay in a hotel say Friday the other it was Wednesday.  The one booked for the Friday messaged her with a made up excuse why he couldn't do Friday but was available Wednesday.  She replied that she will see what she has planned for the Wednesday and let him know.  Sure enough the other guy got a message asking if it was possible to change the Wednesday for the Friday as she had a family emergency come up. He played along and they both went through with the dates but on the Saturday morning as my mate got out of bed he turned around and asked her who was best, him or his mate? She asked what he was on about and he showed her his mate and a copy of the messages.

[Jack Peterson]

 I had a friend that did a double on 2 Sisters neither knew that he was Chatting to both, transpires that he did marry one of them. Never heard what happened about the Other, so my friends it is not just the Ladies that spin yarns, in this case maybe he was I guess, just seeing which Catch was Best. .............. Time will tell   

[AusExpat]

On the ladies chatting. In Pattaya one tiem was walking along the stret past an Internet Cafe, looked in the window and the girl there had 6 different video chat windows open chatting to 6 different guys. She looked at me like a fish cuaght in headlights, I just smiled back and walked on.

[Mike J]

1 hour ago, Jack Peterson said:

 I had a friend that did a double on 2 Sisters neither knew that he was Chatting to both, transpires that he did marry one of them. Never heard what happened about the Other, so my friends it is not just the Ladies that spin yarns, in this case maybe he was I guess, just seeing which Catch was Best. .............. Time will tell   

Reminds me of "rodeo sex".  Whisper in her ear;"your sister is better than you", then try to stay in the saddle for eight seconds. 

[graham59]

Lots of lonely men out there, looking for romance , but nervous about flying to far away places like the Philippines (even at non-lockdown times).  Some have no intention of flying here anyway, but are happy to keep up the romantic  facebook chat, videochat, etc. 

It was even tougher on budding romances, pre-internet times, when people actually wrote letters to 'penfriends' (which took at least a  month after sending, to  receive  a reply).  

[OnMyWay]

21 minutes ago, graham59 said:

Some have no intention of flying here anyway, but are happy to keep up the romantic  facebook chat, videochat, etc. 

That is what I was going to say.  If they find a pretty girl to chat with and perhaps even more on video chat, some guys could be happy forever!