Women 50+ here and in the West

[graham59]

6 minutes ago, peterfe said:

Yes, I think you realised I was talking about a Filipino man 50+ living here in his extended family, I was not suggesting that a lonely Western man 50+ should come here and cuddle other people's children!! 

Sadly, strictly speaking, even 'extended family' kid-cuddling is out though...as I pointed out, or even in their 'company'.  Not wanting to be a scare-monger,  but we and others not aware of the 'situation' , need to be careful. 

[Jollygoodfellow]

58 minutes ago, graham59 said:

Sadly, strictly speaking, even 'extended family' kid-cuddling is out though...as I pointed out, or even in their 'company'.  Not wanting to be a scare-monger,  but we and others not aware of the 'situation' , need to be careful. 

Its OK as long as you are not alone with an unrelated child so cuddling is fine in the presence of lolo or the kids mother.

[graham59]

On 8/11/2020 at 2:25 PM, Jollygoodfellow said:

Its OK as long as you are not alone with an unrelated child so cuddling is fine in the presence of lolo or the kids mother.

Yes, in theory.

I still find the last case on these reports slightly disturbing though...first case and subject of the headline, fair enough. The man was an idiot :

 

Edited August 12, 2020 by Jollygoodfellow
Removed link as per rules

[Jollygoodfellow]

On 8/11/2020 at 3:15 PM, graham59 said:

Yes, in theory.

I still find the last case on these reports slightly disturbing though...first case and subject of the headline, fair enough. The man was an idiot :

 

I removed the link as we do not link to that site. Anyway holding the hand of a 14 year old girl who he claims was his tourist guide is really as you say an idiot and was probably more to the story .

But anyway I dont want to go over the law as its been discussed many times over the years but its not as bad as what many think and basics are you are not meant to be with an underage child alone unless you are related. The word is alone. Let's move on as we are off topic 

[graham59]

1 hour ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

I removed the link as we do not link to that site. Anyway holding the hand of a 14 year old girl who he claims was his tourist guide is really as you say an idiot and was probably more to the story .

But anyway I dont want to go over the law as its been discussed many times over the years but its not as bad as what many think and basics are you are not meant to be with an underage child alone unless you are related. The word is alone. Let's move on as we are off topic 

Yep, fair comment, and I agree...and discussed enough elsewhere. 

[shabbynomad70]

On 8/9/2020 at 10:22 AM, peterfe said:

When I lived in Norway (but it could have been almost any Western country), I was struck by the number of women 50+ living alone and obviously very lonely. I felt sorry for them, as I knew some of them personally. I think it must be much easier to be an unattached woman 50+ in the Philippines! The Western woman will have 0-2 children and grandchildren, who may live hundreds of km away, whereas the Filipina will have 2-4 children, some of whom most likely live nearby in the extended family situation. Even in the unlikely event that all her children and grandchildren have gone to Manila, there will still be plenty of little ones around to cuddle. The Western woman will sleep alone, whereas the Filipina will almost certainly sleep with other female members of the extended family and/or their children. Basically, the Western woman will have very little physical contact and often no little ones to love and who will give her affection on a regular basis, whereas the Filipina will have plenty.

So maybe it's not surprising that some very lonely Western women 50+ go to places like Jamaica, where the young man will tell them how beautiful they are, how much he loves them, etc. As Johnny Winter puts it, "She know what she want, but she don't know what she need". What the Western woman needs is probably not primarily sex, but physical contact, someone (e.g. a little child) to love and be loved by, and the feeling of being part of, and with, a big family. Which the 50+ Filipina will usually have 

all so very true!  my last official filipina wife and i divorced after six years in the states by mutual agreement so she could find someone and start a family (which she did).  just before she left our partnership i asked to tell me without thinking what the biggest difference was in living in the states and living in the philppines  (thinking of course it would be the nice houses, or the big box stores or something like that)   she said without any pause, "its so boring here".   having lived in the phils for seven years now i completely agree with that.  i now only return home to the states for two weeks to see two sisters and two grown sons.   even then, it boring.   if people understood the social nature of the philippines there would be a flood of immigrants to this place.  so far its been the best seven years of my life.   yes sometimes frustrating but i think we all live here because we like it more than where we came from.

[Clermont]

On 8/13/2020 at 12:05 AM, Jollygoodfellow said:

But anyway I dont want to go over the law as its been discussed many times over the years but its not as bad as what many think and basics are you are not meant to be with an underage child alone unless you are related. The word is alone. Let's move on as we are off topic 

Good on ya, about time some-one put a stop on scare mongering, it doesn't matter which country your in, common sense should be exercised. 

[shabbynomad70]

17 minutes ago, Clermont said:

Good on ya, about time some-one put a stop on scare mongering, it doesn't matter which country your in, common sense should be exercised. 

i agree this is common sense in any country.   in my experience there are two things that make the philippines different.  first is that its a very young population and if you live out in the community you will be surrounded by children of all ages.  many of them are curious and most are friendly so you really have to be sort of on guard about the risks.   not unfriendly to them, just be "situationally aware".   the other difference is that there are many under age girls here who are looking for a relationship.   when dating i would never agree to meet someone if i was unsure of their age without a picture i d to back up their claim.   and make a copy!!  there are lots of places here to get phony i d's..   all that said, my seven years here in the phils has been wonderful socially both with the childrent of my neighborhood  (and their families) and the girls i have met (mostly, lol)

[peterfe]

On 8/13/2020 at 11:37 PM, shabbynomad70 said:

i asked to tell me without thinking what the biggest difference was in living in the states and living in the philppines  (thinking of course it would be the nice houses, or the big box stores or something like that)   she said without any pause, "its so boring here". 

First, welcome to the forum! How boring (or not) it is for the Filipina who moves to a Western country will depend on many things, but at least the wives of most of the members here don't have a serious language problem. S knows someone who married a Pole and went to live somewhere in Poland. The girl posts smiling pictures on Facebook of herself in the snow, or in front of some historic building or whatever, so everything looks "just fine". I say to S, "What if she lives in a town where there are no other Filipinas?" "Polish is a very difficult language", etc. and S says, "She has a job, so she can send her own money back to her family".

So there we have it. Maybe the girl really is very happy, maybe she's very sad and bored, or something in between. But I'm sure she would be far happier in an English-speaking country in a town with a number of other Filipinas and Asian food shops.

[Jack Peterson]

 FOOD for Thought  Not Directed at anyone But..............................