Why go from your country.

[Jack D]

5 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

What's your theory on why some practical hate it here?

Everything that you and the others have already said, plus in my case, it would have cost me much more money to live in the same way that I lived in the USA if I had stayed in the Philippines.

Even eating out at a nice restaurant is much less expensive in the States than what I paid in the Philippines.

[Clermont]

5 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Now for those who have such a hard time here or just want to go home I have a bit of a theory as to why so what do others think.

One thing you left out is English speaking people: I know there is a lot of English spoken but a simple request in English might see something different produced or a pout of the lips and a blank look.  Common for over there and after awhile it can get on you goat and if your weighing up the odds on if this is the lifestyle you want, you may as well buy that ticket home, it's not going to get any better.

Then there is the bloke coming over to a girlfriend, they've communicated by email, messanger, or he has had a lightning visit and liked what he see's.This is the place for him, the girlfriend speakes English, enough anway to ask for something and at the moment she understands what is expected of her in the relation. Then she puts him on a pedistal for all the relies to see and you sit around while they talk in their lingo completly ignoring you. 

This is only a small sample of what a forenger has to endure, then there is the con artist and the silver touged rougs trying to take you down, a bit like back home. Life over there is third world, ranting and raving about being conned or diddled isn't going to change the way some of the people are. Not every-one is out to rip the forenger off, basicly most are good people but the crooks are there.

When I was a younge bloke, all the Aisan countries where call " The Magistical Orient" Nothing has changed for me, con artists, rouges, murders, Bar girls, friendly people, cultural difference and the list goes on. So before you make up your mind to retire in an Aisan Country have a good look first and weigh up your odds before comitting to one country. 

 

[Mike J]

There are three character traits that I have noticed when listening to people who constantly complain about how much they hate it here and "can't wait to move back".

1 - They are virtually 100 negative and they only seem to associate with others who speak and feel the same.

2 - They are highly opinionated, inflexible, only value their own opinion, know "how to fix the country", and are normally loud and overbearing in stating their opinions of how superior things were "back home"

3 - Many drink A LOT 

I think the two most important character traits that will allow a person to enjoy the Philippines is a flexible attitude, and respect for local culture and custom (even if you do always agree with it).  I also think that the people who continuously bitch about the Philippines but do not or cannot leave may not be happy anywhere else.

I do not wear rose colored glasses.  People from the USA ask me what it is like to live here.  I am completely honest and tell them that "You would either enjoy it or you would think 'Why would anyone ever want to live here'"  I feel blessed to live here, this is my home.  As imperfect as it is I have no plans to ever move. 

[manofthecoldland]

8 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

What's your theory on why some practical hate it here?

I agree with Mike J re being of a flexible mind set and having respect for the local culture and custom. If you cannot or will not adapt to the new realities, you will never be content nor happy. You can't cherry pick. 

Living in another culture and nation state with a different language than what you speak provides the  first hurtle. Then the political culture. The major hurtle is the social culture.

If you spent your entire life mastering the intricacies of your own society, you quickly discover that the majority of your hard won knowledge and social skills are not only of limited use here, but when employed..... can be often be useless or even counter productive.

The most difficult hurtle is coming to grips with the need for communal economic responsibilities in a society that has little in the way of government social safety net systems. Your economic survival often depends upon your connections to family and friendships. This is anathema to many in first world economic systems where self-reliance is a highly held virtue and the economic system allows for major state provided assistance to individuals who are distressed.  

It took the global depression of the 1930s to move western governments move from the traditional family and friends assistance culture mode to a society wide government model and many today still resent that.... especially when as individuals, we are doing well and have no need for it. 

Perhaps things are about to change.  

Some people 'hate it here' because of the unexpected and unforeseen pressures that are put upon their personal wealth and income that don't exist in their home country. They worked hard, paid their taxes and feel that they totally earned their pensions and benefits.... which of course they did. 

But now they are living in a culture and country where those who 'have' are expected to some degree, to aid those who 'have not' because of different economic culture. Many ex-pats resent this to some degree despite the realities of the situation where there is massive unemployment and underemployment, despite the willingness of many of the needy to work for their rice.

I am under increasing pressure myself. We own our house free and clear, have the amenities and can live OK on my pensions if we are frugal and don't take on too many charity cases. But that is often easier said that done until the money runs out and your own economic survival is at stake.

I can see why many retired pensioners of limited means decided that they do not want to deal with these added pressures and choose to leave. Most of us can deal with it, along with the other problem set that comes with choosing to live here, by simply saying "No", or "It is impossible at present." But it is an unending problem that we seldom encounter in our home economies, where until now, few have had to financially assist those in our personal social networks. 

It appears that in many countries, things are about to change and many ex-pats who are disenchanted with living here, will have to re-evaluate what they thought of as their other options in home countries.     

[softail]

On 9/1/2020 at 7:04 PM, Jack D said:

Why go from your country?

I love travelling to many places, and I have spent time in many countries, but to me, "there's no place like home."

My stay in the Philippines taught me many things.

- I don't like being a foreigner.

- I don't like living in a place where time stands still.

- I don't like matching wits with people who are perpetually thinking like 15 years olds.

- I don't like living in a quasi-dictatorship.

- I miss speaking my native tongue and having people understand my sarcasm and jokes.

- I miss eating out at American restaurants, where they bring appetizers out long before the main dish, instead of crowding the table with appetizers and main dishes at the very same time,

- I love having the ability to vote!

- I also prefer to buy things (land, houses, etc.) in my own name, instead of my wife's name.

- As I approach 70, I'm even reluctant to leave my homeland for a holiday/vacation.

With all of that being said, I applaud all of those who have made the Philippines their homes.

 

May I ask you, why are you on a sight for expats in the Philippines?

[Tommy T.]

On 9/22/2020 at 11:03 PM, Dave Hounddriver said:

I know my lady likes Canada, but she has not yet seen the cold.  A friend married a filipina and brought her to Edmonton.  She lasted almost a year before moving back to the Philippines.

I love Canada... It is clean and mostly very friendly.

But I hated the cold in winters when I lived in Toronto area... But having your warm Filipina girl should be more than enough to keep you warm during those cold times. Just buy a Hudson Bay blanket or a thick quilt and then snuggle and order room service - or Food Panda, or whatever they have there these days?

[Jack D]

14 hours ago, softail said:

May I ask you, why are you on a sight for expats in the Philippines?

I'm still interested in sharing my opinions and experiences of the Philippines since I still have friends in the Philippines and my wife's family still lives there.

May I ask you a question? Am I the only former expat on this forum?

[Dave Hounddriver]

47 minutes ago, Jack D said:

Am I the only former expat on this forum?

There are lots of us.  We just have to put up with the antagonism from time to time when we voice the opinion that the Philippines is not paradise.

Truth is:

"There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinkin' to myself
'This could be heaven or this could be hell"

Edited September 23, 2020 by Dave Hounddriver

[GeoffH]

1 hour ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

There are lots of us.  We just have to put up with the antagonism from time to time when we voice the opinion that the Philippines is not paradise.

I think the ex expat group contribute both experience and balance to the expat group and provide valuable experience to new and potential expats and personally I think the forum would be worse off without them.

And if they grumble too much about stuff that annoyed the hell out of them but doesn't bother me (like animal noises... I grew up in the country with chooks and roosters and it's barely background noise to me) then I just ignore it 

[Jake]

50 minutes ago, GeoffH said:

I think the ex expat group contribute both experience and balance to the expat group and provide valuable experience to new and potential expats and personally I think the forum would be worse off without them.

I totally agree Geoff.  Lessons learned, including the hard ones should be posted.