How Much To Most Ladies Send Home?

[Guardian]

I was talking to Angel and she told me that she wants to help some of her family who are still in Cebu. How much does the average lady send home?

[TheMason]

The age old question....the answer varies so much that its nearly impossible to answer. Whatever amount you can afford and are comfortable sending is the right amount. My wife and I talked about this in preparation for our move to the US. I told her if she was working that she had to contribute either a percentage of her pay or a % of our monthly budget, whichever was higher. We negotiated the percentages and agreed on an amount that works for both of us. Anything left after contributing to our US household she is free to do with as she pleases, including send it to her family, save for trips to the Philippines, out of pocket expenses, etc.We didn't discuss the scenario of her not working. One of the main reasons we're moving is so she can work. If she's not working I doubt we'll stay in the US for long.

[Mik]

How much to send most ladies home?I think taxi fare would be enough..

[Jollygoodfellow]

I was talking to Angel and she told me that she wants to help some of her family who are still in Cebu. How much does the average lady send home?

I think you are asking how much your girlfriend should send home?it may be a different story if you are asking how much of your own money should be sent home to your girls family.

[til]

Can't answer this yet. But we did agree that there will be no "her money" only "our money" with the exception of the savings she will bring into marriage. I don't want her to work here for her family in the phils. So we will send home to her family what we agree upon, I'm guessing we will budget roughly about 200 per month for help to her family from our talk so far, but we didn't come up with an exact figure yet. We will probably not do just a monthly payment, but pay for some defined things. Emergencies of course, education for her younger sisters probably, anything within reason that helps her family do business. That sort of thing.

[Guardian]

Thanks to those of you who sort of replied. See it seems Angel is not from a poor family so I did not think they would still be sending money home but they do.

[Gold Heart]

That does seem odd. Generally help is being sent to help families who need it. Have you discussed the purpose?An amount is something that is agreed together and what can be afforded. Help goes to family whether you live there or live here. There are also the life - death emergencies where it is difficult to turn your back. I put this in my budget.I've met many guys who insist they will not support or send money back under any circumstances. I don't know how they can do this. Since we did not depend on my wife's work to support our family. Her earnings when in the US were to give her a feeling of confidence and independence.Most of it, I think went back to family.

Thanks to those of you who sort of replied. See it seems Angel is not from a poor family so I did not think they would still be sending money home but they do.

[tropicalwaste]

Personally its all down to the people sending and what its going back for and who for. If its someone expecting an allowance until they live out their days I wouldnt send a single peso if still able to work. The Philippines may be a poor country but you didnt make it that way and there is plenty of opportunity for people to earn an income. If the family is rich I would just take a look at what is expected and discuss in detail it could be that medical training etc. has been paid for by an aunt or other relative who is expecting it to be repaid. Best thing I would advise with that is get the whole figure and pay it in a lump sum and forget about it. If you drip feed the money you will probably find you will never stop sending it.On my own finances I dont send money as we have developed businesses although I do things like send goods from the UK via the Balikbayan boxes for my inlaws. They are earning more now part-time than they did full-time so everyone is happy. On top of that the businesses we develop have medical cover built into them so doctors fee`s etc. are covered within the company allowing even new start businesses which really dont have enough in the budget to cover medical emergencies by taking from the central fund. This also includes ongoing medication.But everyone is different and how you will sort it out is between you and your partner. Main thing is to be cautious incase your partner gets bullied into sending too much too regular as its a very common problem and all that happens is people give up work in the Philippines and sit waiting for your next money transfer.

[Guardian]

I guess I am confused as to what poor or not poor means in the Philippines and I am trying to pump her for information but we do seem to be having a failure to communicate on some levels. Do you guys also have this problem?

[Gold Heart]

In my humble opinion:Communications with your partner is a lifetime challenge. The challenges are greater when you add the complexities of culture and habits. Money is also a common theme of disagreement in all relationships. The cultural difference between how we deal with issues and disputes I find particularly difficult. I like to debate issues and understand others points of view (As Mr. Lee will attest), I like to work to understand and have my point of view understood. Most Filipinas like to avoid disputes and difficult conversations. While I perceive this as a discussion -- she perceives it as arguing. She would prefer to silent. Has always been difficult to talk about insurance, wills, etc. This can be frustrating.As for "what is poor?" is the central part of the question on support. It is the question of when you think it is appropriate to help and how much. I recognize that despite all efforts and intentions, many people here do not have enough to achieve the basic needs of life. This is what I call poor. Those who can't afford to buy food, medicine, and a roof over their heads, despite working or trying as hard as they can to find meaningful work. The US has defined it as those who make below a certain annual income level. There is no such definition here that I'm aware of.The support you provide can be defined or delineated as project or ongoing. There are many that refuse to engage in ongoing support for good reasons. It will create a cycle of dependency and expectation to survive. However it may be necessary.The greatest obligation Filipinos have is to their parents. If she has parents that are older as my in-laws are, have needs, and cannot work. You can define support in terms of what it takes to sustain them: i.e. provide their medicines, required expenses, and other needed support. This is ongoing as these needs will exist as long as they are alive. While they might be shared with other siblings -- they will not go away.Then there are the projects: Dealing with a particular medical issue, helping a sister or brother with school tuition, helping someone get started in a busines, dealing with a specific legal issue, etc. As soon as these efforts are complete, the need for funding is gone. Many will restrict this to immediate families of their spouse. It is reasonable to discuss these needs and interests as support is not an obligation outside the bounds of your immediate family i.e. your own wife and kids. It should be done in the spirit of understanding because you love your partner and your sincere interest in doing what makes her happy, if you can afford to do it. In the end -- this is why I help my my wifes family. I do insist that I understand the details of what I'm doing and I think that is a fair question.My opinion off.

I guess I am confused as to what poor or not poor means in the Philippines and I am trying to pump her for information but we do seem to be having a failure to communicate on some levels. Do you guys also have this problem?

Edited December 19, 2009 by Gold Heart