Philipino pride.

[Old55]

2 hours ago, Viking said:

I don't agree with this. There are lots of lazy men in the Philippines but to be fair, most of them are not. That makes it even stranger to me because if all were lazy, it would be easier to understand, but that's not the case.

I agree it's not the norm. Although we often see young Filipino men lazing around sharing a beer with friends but what we don't see is the majority busy working often a difficult low pay thankless job.

Edited October 15, 2023 by Old55

[stevewool]

In my experience of the Filipino pride and the lazy boys / men , there are two different things .

Again in my experience is the boys or men are all mummies boys they have grown up doing nothing and getting there way all the time with out anyone telling them they are wrong living that way 

[stevewool]

1 hour ago, Lee said:

Couldn't agree more.

To stop this behavior simply quit coughing up cash to the family layabouts.

This is a very hard thing to stop for the sister or brother who has or does send money because it’s been hammered into them that is what they should do , a thousand blessings will come your way and all the other silly stuff, it’s easy for us western folk who maybe have lazy brothers and sisters in our own family we just tell them ‘ get a job or your out of the house ‘ and we mean it .

I find it hard not to help out the parents of the family but the lazy siblings know this and it’s easy for them then to bully them into giving them money , I’m sure in time once they are out of the family grasp the cash is reduced .

[Lee]

3 hours ago, Old55 said:

What we don't see is the majority busy working often a difficult low pay thankless job.

In my youth, I also started off working difficult, thankless, and low paying jobs (farm work, construction gopher). It taught me that you simply have to keep moving up a step at a time. I finished HS and joined the US military (the military wasn't a popular choice back in the 70's but I did it anyway).

From there I worked 50 hour weeks and attended night school at the same time. Eventually this led to a career that paid some money and had some benefits.

The opportunities in the PI are limited as compared to the US but they are out there. IMO you just need to take them when presented. Over the years, we have offered 8 family members the opportunity to finish school and go to college if there skills merit it. Only two of them made it through HS and one of them got  pregnant by the end of her first  semester of college.

Edited October 15, 2023 by Lee

[Viking]

3 hours ago, stevewool said:

This is a very hard thing to stop for the sister or brother who has or does send money because it’s been hammered into them that is what they should do , a thousand blessings will come your way and all the other silly stuff, it’s easy for us western folk who maybe have lazy brothers and sisters in our own family we just tell them ‘ get a job or your out of the house ‘ and we mean it .

I find it hard not to help out the parents of the family but the lazy siblings know this and it’s easy for them then to bully them into giving them money , I’m sure in time once they are out of the family grasp the cash is reduced .

I agree that it can be hard to stop the financial support, but things aren't always easy and tough decisions needs to be made or things will never change.

I'm talking about support to the lazy ones now. Supporting old parents are a different thing. It's true that the lazy ones can put pressure on the parents to be included but then we should not send more than what is enough for the parents. We should never accept being leached on. Atleast, that's my opinion.

My wife had problems to say no before. Luckily that has changed, and if she can change, so can others.

This kind of drifted into another topic but I guess they are somewhat related to each other.

[craftbeerlover]

5 hours ago, Old55 said:

I agree it's not the norm. Although we often see young Filipino men lazing around sharing a beer with friends but what we don't see is the majority busy working often a difficult low pay thankless job.

They may be the "Majority", but it is pretty damn close.  Laziness, cutting corners, looking for angles to get something for nothing, expecting handouts, gifts, borrowing with no intention of paying back, all of this seems to be part of the culture.  Ask many of the OFW women, to include "Dancers" in countries like Japan and Korea where their money goes and what their brothers and fathers are doing.   I know many families (parents) that will have their kids drop out of school, so they can go out and give money to the family, many times neither parent is working.  The guilt trip is implanted at a very young age.   I am of course generalizing, as there are many that do not fit into the category I described above, but the ratio is much closer than any other country I have ever been in.   "Filipino Pride" was a slogan and nothing more.

[craftbeerlover]

13 hours ago, MotorSarge said:

When you are born into this type of daily barrio atmosphere and grow into a child, teenager to adult it becomes the "norm".

For most there is no escape into what others see as a different "norm". 

I agree 100 percent, it is a vicious cycle, and it has been going on for generations.   Parents raise kids and expect those kids to work as soon as humanly possible, to give money to the family.  When these kids grow up the cycle continues, and Education is a distant 5th.   Having realistic dreams and hope of attaining middle or an upper class economic lifestyle is a dream that is squashed before puberty.   When you rob a generation of their dreams and hope, the entire society suffers, or at best remains the same. 

[Mike J]

11 hours ago, Viking said:

I'm talking about support to the lazy ones now. Supporting old parents are a different thing. It's true that the lazy ones can put pressure on the parents to be included but then we should not send more than what is enough for the parents. We should never accept being leached on. Atleast, that's my opinion.

Once we moved here 10 years ago we provided for the parents by paying their bills, buying their food, meds, etc.  We gave them only very small amounts of actual money because we knew the extending family would be visiting them with their hands out.  Difficult to do if you are not living close.

[Snowy79]

It would be interesting if a psychologist did a proper study on the mindest here. I know most countries have sterotypes and that the term is frowned about by many as it puts most in the same basket but there is a definite culture here that shows a kind of false pride. Anyone that has embarrassed a local has no doubt seen what loss of face can do. Sure they will smile at you and apologise but watch your back as you've just made an enemy even if they are 100% in the wrong.

The pride also extends to areas that most in the West would probably laugh at. Their basketball team although full of foreign imports are heroes, their beauty contestants with loose associations to the Philippines are worshipped and just recently I was cringing when the area I used to live in declared themselves the " Official Diving Capital of the Philippines" and many locals were ecstatic. It turned out a group of the local dignatories all living in the town sat around a table to decide who was the Diving Capital and surprise, surprise 100% voted for the town. They're also still declaring themselves one of the most beautiful bays in the World after being nominated it by a foreign group of travelling drinking buddies from France, one of whom was partial to a bottle or two of wine and dressed like Asterix the Gaul. Apparently at the time to be a registered body they had to be sanctioned by the French Government and to pay a nominal fee. This in Puerto Galera's eyes made them a respected international body when in reality anyone could set a body up and give themselves a nice title.. 

[Lee]

12 hours ago, craftbeerlover said:

I agree 100 percent, it is a vicious cycle, and it has been going on for generations.

The cycle that I have noted the most often is after undisciplined kids become adults; an unwanted pregnancy occurs and they move back in with mom and dad. They offer little in financial aid---some refuse to work doing anything--- and then expect their parents to feed, clothe, and babysit their kids.